Almost a Disaster

Friday evening about 9:30, I was home; my wife had called earlier to say she needed to work late

The next phone call was not unexpected. She said what she needed to say.

I said "No."

"Not only NO, but HELL NO!"

"There is a Diamond Cab, number 127, in the Parking lot; you have 30 minutes to be home. The drive from where you are is 25 minutes, if you are not here on time then have him take you to your mothers."

During my tirade she did not say anything; all I heard was a loud gasp.

I hung up, took the phone back off the hook and turned off my cell phone. I sat down in my favorite chair to continue reading my book; I did not get too far. I could not concentrate.

29 ½ minutes later I got up to lock the front door and throw on the burglar chain. Just as I reached the door a cab pulled slowly into the drive. She got out yelling and screaming at the driver. I thought she said something about walking faster than he could drive.

I went out and gave him a $25 tip and we both smiled as he drove away.

She ran into the house and slammed the door, locked it and put on the chain. I sat down in the rocker on the front porch and pulled a beer out of the cooler on the ground beside it.

When I had finished the beer she had still not come back outside, so I climbed into the cab of my work truck and turned on the CD player. I locked the doors, reclined the seat and opened the windows a slight bit to let any moisture escape.

Let me introduce myself; I am George Wrout. The "W" is silent. My friends call me Grout. She, is my wife Teri, she will not allow anyone to call her Trout; she thinks it would be silly. Oh, well.

I am a master plumber; she is a secretary in a small office.

The next morning she finally found me asleep in the truck. She claims she searched for 45 minutes.

For some reason she was dressed in the same whorish clothes as when she came home last evening. I think that might be due to the fact that our bedroom door was locked and she could not get in to change her clothes. Of course it could also be that all of her clothes were packed in garbage bags, locked in the back of my truck.

I listened to her screeching for a while, when she stopped and looked at me she saw the grin on my face.

I asked if she "...was through embarrassing herself for a while."

She started to say something more then she realized there were a lot of neighbors looking to see what the noise was all about. I just grinned and opened the cooler for another beer, then decided it would be better to have a diet cola. No sense in slowing down the brain cells.

As I drank my cola, Flower of Scotland came on the CD player. I turned it way up. I love bagpipes.

She went back inside, forgetting to close the door. When my song was over I followed her inside and shut the door. Ignoring her, as she sat on one end of the sofa, I headed into the kitchen where I had left a bag of doughnuts the evening before. She hates doughnuts. I sat down at the table and waited for her as I consumed 2 of the lovelies.

When she finally came in I offered her one. If looks could kill....

She sat and did not say anything. I looked at her with my head cocked to one side and grinned. My dog would have been proud; I did it perfectly.

Finally she spoke, "How did you know where I was last night?"

"You told me."

The look on her face was priceless. "I never said a word about it to you."

"Would you believe you talk in your sleep? I know this was the fourth meeting between you and James. The first you just held hands, the second you let him play with your leg for a while. The last time you kissed him for more than 12 minutes on the parking lot before you came home. Would you like to hear some more?"

"No, I still don't know why I did those things. And I have absolutely no idea why I called and asked you if I could spend the night with him."

"Did you really want to? Because if that is what you want, you can file for divorce and have the time of your life,"

"At the time I thought I did; though for the life of me I have no idea why. Looking back on it now I realize how stupid I was. I love you too much to do that to you. No, I do not want a divorce."

We talked for about another hour. She kept telling me had no idea why she went on those dates; she loved only me, and wanted to stay married to me for the rest of her life. I told her that I still loved her; but the trust in our marriage was severely strained and I would need time before I was ready to trust again.

She asked if I would let her into the bedroom so she could bathe and change clothes.

I asked her where she slept last night.

"The guest room", was her response.

"I will go unlock the back of my truck. Remember the truck? That is where I slept last night. You can get your things out of it and put them in the guest room. You will be there for the foreseeable future."

She looked at me like I had spoken Greek.

"If the back of my work truck is not cleaned out before I go to work on Monday I will stop at your mother's or Goodwill and unload it myself. And, do not make a mess of the truck."

"I will not sleep in that room; I am your wife...."

I broke into her remark "You are very close to becoming my EX-WIFE. You will stay in the guest room or when I go out to open the truck I will get in and drive to your mother's house and throw it all out in the middle of the yard. Then, I will go up, ring the bell and tell her why it is all there."

By the time I was done; I was yelling, more for effect than because I was angry.

The tears started to flow.

I told her the waterworks were a waste of time. I had 2 more doughnuts before she finally calmed down enough to talk again.

She asked me to open the truck and she would put her things in the guest room.

I sat in the front of the truck looking at the lock sets in front of me, wondering if I should return them sooner or later. I decided on later. She saw the locks and told me it would not be necessary to install them.

When she had not come down for a while I locked the truck and went into the backyard to see how Buttercup was doing. Buttercup is my dog; he is part Mastiff and part Irish Wolfhound. To put it bluntly, he was ugly and he was huge. I was not tiny either; at 275 and 6 foot 8 inches. He almost looked like a normal size dog next to me in a photo. He was my baby, the sweetest dog you could ever care to meet. That is unless you mess with me, my house or my truck. I saw what he did to someone who thought they needed my tools more than I did. When Buttercup was done the fellow was begging the police to take him away. There was not even any broken skin; the worst my puppy did was fart in his face as he sat on him. He stayed there until I called him after the police showed up. The police just laughed at the crook and arrested him.

Buttercup and I went to guard dog school together; he is trained to lay low until the first item leaves my truck. He is extremely fast on the attack.

After a while the door slammed and Teri came out into the yard to find me, she started to yell; then she heard the low rumbling growl from behind her and froze in her tracks without another sound. Buttercup lay back down at my feet again and went back to sleep. She asked me quietly and politely to open the truck so she could finish unloading it.

I unlocked the truck; while she took the first bag in, I threw the rest out on the ground. 5 minutes and the sprinklers should start. I called Teri and told her it was all out of the truck, she ran to get it before someone took her stuff. As she picked up the next to last bag the sprinklers started up. She grabbed the last bag and tried to run; she still got quite wet.

I smiled and petted Buttercup.

Later she was ironing the wrinkles out of some of her work clothes when her cell phone rang. I heard her speaking in hushed tones; she was sorry she ran out of the restaurant without saying good bye. She went on to say that, somehow, I knew what was happening and told her to get home immediately. She told him it was a mistake and they could not see each other anymore.

I heard the voice on the other end getting loud and obnoxious. She said good bye and hung up, he called right back. She turned the phone off.

I guess now is as good as any other time to explain a few things. When we married 6 years ago we went to a magic show on our honeymoon. The warm up act was a hypnotist. He managed to get Teri, along with 3 other ladies, up on the stage. He hypnotized them and had them do all sorts of things.

When he was done he brought her back to me in the audience and confidentially told me the magic phrase to put her back under. Then he awoke her with the instruction that "She would not remember anything that happened, but when I said the magic phrase she would be under my control. No one else would be able to control her unless I allowed it."

The first words out of her mouth when he released her were "I told you that you could not hypnotize me." The audience roared at that. That night I put her back under; I told her that she would never allow anyone to touch her breasts or genitals without my permission.

Until a few weeks ago I never used the hypnotism again, in fact I had to think long and hard before I remembered the phrase.

The night she called, my order was followed.

I had been suspicious about her sudden need to stay at work so late on those Friday evenings and had put her under and quizzed her on her activities. She readily told me all of it.

Another thing she does not know is that James is a salesman for a company owned by a good friend of mine. His boss, Roger has wanted to get rid of him for years; James only did the minimum to get by. For years he has inflated his expense reports by submitting the cost of dates on his as business expenses; no one could prove he was cheating the company. Until he started to date Teri....

Roger was set to ask for more proof that those dinners were business related. He wanted contact information on the client, if James did not provide it; he would be fired for cause and all his last expense report would be disallowed. The company already was scanning the call records for the phones they provided.

I also have Teri's cell phone set up for her GPS to give me her location at a moments notice. That is how I knew where she went on each of her dates with James.

The taxi driver is my best friend Paul's son; he is normally off in the evenings. He was 19 when he met Teri the last time, 6 years ago at the wedding. He now has a beard and looks much more mature.

Monday James was called into Roger's office and told he had 24 hours to produce proof that the last expense report was all business related. When he could not prove the 3 dates were business he was fired. Poor baby!

James has anger issues; he did not take being fired well at all. He was already angry about being dumped and abandoned when he thought was a sure thing with Teri.

I decided to keep an eye on her for a while and see how she was behaving. I got off an hour before she did so it was not a difficult task. Buttercup liked to go for rides, so I took him along. I just told her we had gone for a ride and stopped at the park for a walk, which we did, afterward.

One evening when she walked out the door from work James grabbed her and forced her into his car. I was there to get the information and followed them in the car. Teri was beside herself with anger, she scratched and clawed and hit him as hard as she could, until he punched her in the face. She passed out from the pain.

James was heading to the south; there was only one hotel on that end of town. It was the dirtiest, sleaziest hell hole you could imagine. I already had friends at each of the 3 motels in town and near his house. I called Paul at the hotel I thought they were heading to and told him what car to watch for; meanwhile I followed at a discrete distance.

I saw them pull into the lot and park in front of a room. 3 other guys came out and helped carry Teri in.

I swung past Paul and told him to call the police, and then I drove over to the far end of the building and parked. Buttercup and I got out and walked to the room. I knocked on the door. One of his friends opened it with the chain on; I hit it hard and kept going into the room. Buttercup followed. My only command to him was "Protect Teri." I headed for the 2 accomplices that were on one side of the bed and Buttercup aimed for James. James was already naked from the waist down and standing at the foot of the bed, what I saw did not impress me. Buttercup went for James' crotch. I forced the others into the wall, although they were stunned they came up fighting.

The loud shriek caused everyone to stop for a second, except me. I grabbed an arm on both of my opponents, twisted them back and ripped the shoulders out of their sockets. A dozen punches later and there were 2 broken jaws, bad concussions and both were gasping for breath.

I turned to see what else needed my attention and found the first guy lying, out cold under the door that I had ripped off the hinges. James was lying on the floor passed out from the shock of loss of his genitals. Buttercup was happily chewing on his new play toys. I commanded him to "drop" and they fell onto the floor, no way would James want what was left back.

Teri was still out and lying on the bed in a heap, her underwear was ripped at the crotch and her dress was up over her head. I threw a blanket over her as I heard the sirens in the distance. Buttercup and I went to a corner of the room away from the carnage. On my command he lay down and covered his eyes with his paws, he is a smart dog. When the state police ran into the room they found me with my hands up and Buttercup lying beside me. One of the troopers was there when Buttercup took down the fellow who tried to take my tools, he had to be held upright because he was laughing so hard at the sight Buttercup and I presented.

Quickly I told them "The woman on the bed is my wife, she was kidnapped outside her job this afternoon and I followed them here. The genitals belong to the kidnapper; I have no idea who the other 3 are."

People on the street had reported the kidnapping and the troopers were in the process of looking for the car.

Teri started to wake up; she was fighting mad and ready to go after the first person to get near her. Buttercup heard her and ran over to see what was wrong. 2 steps and a jump and he was on the bed daring anyone to come near her. Teri swung at him once until he licked her face. He let me approach, the troopers headed toward her until they heard the low rumbling growl. They froze. I told Buttercup they were OK and he relaxed, they stayed back.

When the ambulances arrived Teri was the first loaded. Then they tried to take James next, but he had bled too badly, he was dead. One of the EMTs stepped on the mass of flesh on the floor and looked to see what it was; he promptly threw up. The 2 injured guys were next to go, the fellow under the door was not injured too badly. The troopers just arrested him.

I was given a lecture about taking the law into my own hands, while they stood as far away from Buttercup as they could. There were no charges against me or my pup. When it was all over we went home so I could change into something nicer for the trip to see Teri at the hospital. A few minutes after we got home the doorbell rang, it was the pizza I had ordered for Buttercup; small with extra cheese, extra beef and light on the green peppers. He was in heaven.

Teri was in a room and demanding to see me when I got there. She did not have any serious injuries; just some sore muscles, a mild concussion and a badly bruised jaw. They held her for 36 hours as a precaution.

The accomplices were all charged with multiple offenses. The 2 who chose to fight would have some permanent injuries to deal with. Paul and I testified, as well as the troopers. All 3 went away for 15 to 30 years.

James was buried in his home town; his wife never went to the services.

Buttercup was made an honorary state trooper. Before that day he was never allowed in the house because Teri was so afraid of him; he now has his own bedroom, complete with 4 poster bed. The only time he is separated from Teri is when he is at work with me. We found an equally large and ugly girlfriend for him; she is now ready to deliver her first litter.

It took a while after she recovered from her injuries, but Teri eventually was allowed to return to the master bedroom.

25 years later

A number of years back my boss decided to retire. He sold the company to me for a song and a small percent of the profits until he died.

Teri and I have 6 children; 4 boys and 2 girls. Thankfully, while the boys all take after me the girls take after Teri, except that they are both close to 6 feet tall.

Buttercup lived to be 12 years old; his best girl went shortly after he did. She was just too lonely without him; you could see it in her eyes. Through careful breeding and good training we now have 4 of Buttercups grand children and his son at home. They are as large and ugly as the original, and as loving too. The 2 boys are Tiny and Little Boy. The girls are Minnie and Petunia. My other plumbers have some of the other pups; they are all trained and ride in the trucks as security.

There is a picture of Buttercup on the side of every one of our trucks. We changed the company name to Best Friend Plumbing. Business is good.

Teri and I are best friends and still lovers. We look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.

I still have those lock sets out in the garage, she knows they are.