Adam's Journey

I really didn't want to talk about this anymore, not just then. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, to try to figure things out. I knew there was something I had to do before I left though, if I expected to be able to ever sleep well again.

"Kristi?"

She raised her head and looked at me, her eyes clouded with hurt and doubt.

"Honey, I need to tell you how sorry I am for the things I said to you last night, the names I called you. That was stupid, and childish, and I'm sorry."

She just looked at me for a moment, tears streaking her beautiful face. "Thanks for that Adam, but I know I deserved it. It was stupid and selfish to do what I did, and it wasn't fair to you. I wanted to tell you, but didn't know how."

"Nobody deserves the things I said to you. It was cruel, but I was so angry, and hurt..."

"Well, at least you didn't hit me. I wouldn't have blamed you if you did. Although that might have hurt less than the things you said."

I was stunned to hear her say that. Now I really felt horrible. "Oh Kristi, for God's sake, don't say that! I would never hurt you in any way if I was thinking straight, and I would never, ever hit you, it was just the anger coming out, I had to try to make you hurt like I was. If I was a better man I'd have just turned and walked away, you know?"

She thought about that for several seconds, our eyes searching each others faces. "I wouldn't have known what to think if you had done that. I guess I would have figured you didn't care enough to fight for me. I guess what you did, the yelling and rage, roughing him up and all, it was scary and it hurt, but I knew you cared, that you loved me. Is that too strange?"

I sighed. "This whole thing is strange. It's sure not something that I ever thought I would have to deal with. Anyhow, please know that the things I said, the names - I don't really think those things. And I do love you still, despite everything. I just don't know if I can take you on your terms. I need some time to think." I stood and began to pull on the too-tight shorts. "I should probably head for home. Ralph will be wondering where I am." Ralph really didn't give a crap where I was, but he would be missing Kristi.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" She had fresh tears running down her cheeks, and I was pretty sure she didn't want me to leave. I had to.

"Nah, Kristi, it's only a couple of blocks, and it's a nice night. Besides, I'd never get into your car in these pants without castrating myself." They were uncomfortably tight in the crotch, and I kept shifting. It didn't help.

"Well, then can I walk with you? I need to pick up something at your house."

I wished she'd said OUR house instead, like it had been for months now, but we adjust. "Um, yeah, that's fine I guess. Are you going to be OK walking back home alone?"

"Well, I've never been afraid to go out at night in this neighborhood before. I'm fine with it." She dried her eyes on her sleeve, and began to slip her sandals on.

"Uh, baby, are you going to walk outside like that, with no pants on?"

She pulled up the hem of her short t-shirt and looked at her own nudity, as did I, her sweet pussy framed between her thighs. She was genuinely surprised. "I completely forgot I had taken my shorts off. I guess I was about to get in bed when you got here. Have I been flashing you all night?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I'm sorry about that."

Now it was my turn to laugh at her. "Really hon' it's quite all right. Your body is not something that's hard to look at, so no apology needed. I just thought you might not want to go turning on all the guys in the neighborhood is all. I mean you may want to fuck them all, but if I am ever going to be able to do this we will have to start slow, with one at a time, OK?"

She grabbed a tight pair of stretch terry shorts, pink, from the laundry room and pulled them on. "Do you really think you might? Be OK with it, I mean?"

"Oh, Kristi, I don't know. I'm just trying to find a little humor in this. I guess that was a pretty weak joke, huh?"

"No. It's good you're joking. That's more like you."

We went outside and down the street, not touching. That was different, we always touched each other. We did talk though, just about stuff, not any more about our current situation. Sports, food, work, friends - normal stuff. It was nice, talking, and the distance went by too quickly.

At my house she spent several minutes hugging and loving up Ralph. I was jealous, and he about wore out his tail wagger motor. She disappeared upstairs to get whatever she had come to pick up. I heard her dresser open and close, and she soon came back carrying only the big black life-like dildo we had gotten for her.

"That's what you walked all the way down here to get?" I was surprised.

"Well, I told you I was horny and you chose not to take the hint, so..."

"Kristi, I just didn't think it was right, not knowing what will happen to us. Can you understand that? I shouldn't have even let you tell me that story and, well, you know."

"Yes, I do know, and that's why I'm so horny, because of you. But me and King Dong here will be just fine, so don't worry. And Adam? Try not to attach so many strings to sex. I mean it feels good, right?"

I agreed.

"Then why not just relax and enjoy it? It's supposed to be fun, not make you mad and guilty, and upset."

She is wise, but it's not going to be that easy, not for me. I wasn't raised that way, and had always tied sex to intimacy and love.

She walked toward the door, swinging her toy. This thing is huge, as big around as me or a little more, and a couple of inches longer, with a purplish head and bulging veins. Very realistic.

"You're not going to just walk down the street carrying that like that are you? Out in the open? You want a bag or something?"

"No, we'll be fine. If someone tries to jump me or something I can always use it as a club. Or turn the tables on him and shove it up his ass, that would be justice served."

"Do you want me to walk you part way?"

"No, I'm fine. You look tired, go to bed. But Adam? Can we talk again, before you have to go back to the site? We need to talk, and decide about Lake Powell and all, and about us."

"I know. You're right, we do need to talk, but give me a day or two, OK?"

"Sure. Call me?"

"I will. Goodnight. Be careful, and enjoy the King."

"I'm sure I will. I hope Wendy has some lube there."

I snorted. "Since when have you ever needed any extra lube?"

"Smart ass. Sleep good. Call me."

I didn't think I'd sleep at all, thinking about our future, or if we'd have one together, or imagining her with other men. Or just knowing that she was going to be sliding that enormous black cock into her tight pussy, all hot and slick as she drove herself to orgasm, no doubt fantasizing about some enormous black man fucking her brains out.

I was wrong. My head hit the pillow and I was gone, out like a light. I was totally drained, emotionally and physically, and I slept like the dead.

I woke the next morning to a god-awful racket and an earthquake hitting my bed. It absolutely scared the shit out of me, and started the day with an enormous adrenaline rush. Turns out it was an earthquake named Kori, aided and abetted by Ralph, both jumping on the bed alongside of me with her yelling for me to wake up while he barked and carried on in excitement.

When I got my eyes back into my head I fell back onto my pillow with a groan. "Good Lord K, don't ever do that again! I could have had a heart attack or something!"

She was laughing so hard at my reaction that she couldn't even choke out an insincere apology, and gave up trying.

I rolled onto my back, putting my arm across my eyes to block the light streaming in the window. The sun was apparently well into the sky. "What do you want, woman? What time is it?" I am not always a morning person, especially when woken suddenly.

"Well, I wanted to find out if you talked to Kristi last night, and how that went if you did, but now I see something I want even more. Oh, and it's almost 8:30."

Without even moving my arm I knew what she was talking about. I had the usual morning wood, and had unthinkingly rolled onto my back, and with me being naked under the bedsheet it made a pretty obvious tent. I groaned again. "Oh c'mon Kori, it's too early to have that discussion again."

"I think it's nice. Is it in my honor?"

"I hate to burst your bubble K, but it's just morning wood like all guys get. It's probably been like that for an hour. Can we not talk about my cock for once?"

She stuck her lip out. "I'd rather ride it or suck it than talk about it anyway." She reached over and gripped me through the sheet, slowly jacking her hand up and down my hard shaft. It felt incredibly good, and I got harder. But still, Ron is my best friend, and I had gotten pretty used to defending myself from his horny wife.

I grabbed her arm and disengaged her hand from me. "Kori, no. We're not doing this." I didn't really think she'd ever follow through anyway, but I knew she delighted in teasing me, and seeing me get all flustered.

"Oh come on Adam, you're just wasting a really nice hard-on."

"Yeah, and you're Ron's wife, and you are supposedly worried about Kristi and me - why don't you go down and see if I have anything we can have for breakfast while I grab a quick shower?" I gathered the sheet around me to stand up, but as I stood she yanked the sheet out of my hands and I wound up standing in front of her, bare-ass naked, with my cock sticking out obscenely in front of me. I stood with my hands on my hips, facing her while she looked at me. Mostly at my woody. "Are you happy now?"

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Not as happy as I could be..."

I just shook my head. "To the kitchen you brazen slut. You're what we call a cock-tease! I'll shower and be down in a couple of minutes."

She trailed out of the room, my finely trained guard dog (hah) following her. I watched her go, admiring the bulge of her breasts in the side view, and the sway of her ass. I'll bet she is a really hot little fuck, she is so uninhibited about what she wants. I stroked my erection a few times, thinking about it. It felt pretty good. I showered, keeping the water cool, then toweled off and put on shorts and a t-shirt to work around the house. I just ran my hand through my hair to get it where I wanted it, then headed down to join Kori.

I don't know how she did it with my meager pantry, but she had put together some great omelettes, peppers, onions, cheese, ham, the works. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her, kissing her neck. "Smells great K. Did I have all this stuff, or did you run over to your house and raid the fridge?"

"Mmmm. More neck nuzzling please. No, you had it all, and it looked fresh. Kristi must have shopped before you got back. Pour us some coffee please, and there's OJ if you want it."

I got us both coffee and juice. Maybe Kristi had been planning on cooking for her boyfriend, since I wasn't due home for a couple of days. Nah, that was stupid, I wasn't going to think that way.

Kori and I sat and talked as we ate. She really had oudone herself on whipping up breakfast on short notice, and I told her so. "This is great stuff K, really good. Where's Ronnie this morning? He'll be sorry he missed this."

"He's meeting with a buyer, he thinks he found someone to buy that Citation he's had for awhile. We're supposed to have dinner with this guy and his wife tonight. You should come along, we're going to Morton's, you love their steaks."

I'd seen the Citation, a beautiful little jet. Ron had taken Kori, Kristi, and I, along with John and Wendy, for a quick flight out to Aspen one Saturday evening for dinner, just fly out, have a great dinner, and fly back to Denver, and it had been a lot of fun. The plane was sleek and fast, and very nicely appointed inside. I didn't even know he still had it, but now I was kind of disappointed to hear he might be selling it. It had been fun to play rich and see how the other half lives.

"Oh. Well, good, I hope he sells it, I know that's a really big ticket item for him. I think I'll pass on the dinner, you don't really need a fifth wheel along. Plus, I have a lot of work to do around here, all those 'deferred maintenance' things."

"Oh come on Adam, come along. It will be a lot more fun for me that way, and you need to be out with people, not sitting home and tearing yourself up."

"Kori, I know you're doing this because you care so much, but don't try to mother me, and don't play matchmaker, or mediator or whatever between me and Kristi, OK?"

"Adam, I just don't..."

"K, I know. I want her back too, but I have to make some hard decisions, OK? I have to try to reconcile some things. If she and I get back together it has to be for good, not stops and starts. I can't go through losing her again, I couldn't stand it. If we can't love and appreciate each other, on our own terms, we're better off just staying apart now, so we have to decide."

"OK sweetie, I understand. I'll try to butt out. Will you at least join us for drinks after dinner?"

"Yeah, I could do that I suppose, that wouldn't be so awkward."

"And bring Kristi along?"

I could only look at her and shake my head and smile. She means well, and she tries so hard. I know she loves us both.

She plunged ahead. "Not for me! Ronnie asked me to get her to come, you've seen how well those two work together."

"K, you're wearing me out. I don't know about that, I wasn't planning on seeing her today. Maybe, we'll see." What she said was true, Kristi and Ronnie were both born to close deals, and they worked smoothly together.

"OK. Thanks Adam. So what did you and Kristi talk about last night?"

I was honest with her, and told her all about what we had discussed. I told her I had apologized to Kristi for all the harsh things I'd said, and that Kristi had apologized to me, and tried to explain herself.

I told her about how Kristi had misunderstood my desires, and even about how she had again led me to arousal by telling me about a scenario, fantasy this time, where she had sex with another man while I was tied up, and about how intensely it had gotten me off. I was embarassed, but I told her everything.

She asked me questions from time to time, about how we responded to each other, about how I felt about things. She told me that she was proud of me for being man enough to apologize, which for some reason made me feel good, like I had done well.

Kori is a good listener, and she didn't pass judgment. She seemed to understand that my arousal at Kristi's past sexual encounters with other men, or at made-up fantasies about future encounters, didn't mean that I actually wanted her to do these things, but she asked me the very questions that I had to find the answers to: Would it really be so bad? Might it not be a very erotic experience to live her fantasies together? Was there a possibility, even a small one, that I might really enjoy the experience even more than the fantasy? Could it possibly expand our lives together, and our love for each other, instead of driving us apart, or was that just too far-fetched?

Could I accept this about Kristi, that these desires were a part of her, and love that part as much as I loved everything else about her? And about myself, could I accept that there was a part of me that found the idea of other men thrusting their cocks into her or cumming in her mouth or pussy to be intensely arousing? What would be my reaction to seeing another man between her legs, his hard cock buried in her sweet, wet pussy and his balls slapping against her ass as she lay moaning, nipples hard with arousal, using her heels to push him deeper into her?

Did I really want to see, or could I even stand to see, my Kristi making love to and finding satisfaction with other men?

God help me, apparently I did want that, because now, like always, I was rock hard just thinking about it. Physically excited, emotionally and intellectually disgusted and repulsed. I had some things to work out.

We talked long after we had finished eating, but eventually wound down. I told Kori that I would clean up since she had done such a fine job cooking, and we said our goodbyes. She hugged me, and felt my hard bulge against her belly. She looked down at my obvious arousal and back up into my face.

"You're a mess Adam. Stop over-analyzing everything and trust your gut. Let your little head - well, ok, your not so little head - figure this one out, OK?"

"Mmm, yeah, probably not. Thanks though Kori, for everything. Thanks for being a friend. You're the best. I'll see you guys later."

She walked to the door. "Later Adam. Oh, and don't forget to call Kristi."

"Kori, honey? Fuck off."

She laughed and waved over her shoulder as she went out.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, just doing chores, watching a little baseball on TV as I ate lunch, nothing special.

Oh, the one weird thing that did happen was when I went to Home Depot to pick up some new lights for the front entry. I had always hated the fixtures on either side of the front door, I thought they looked cheap on a pretty nice home. Now, with time on my hands, I was finally getting around to replacing them.

I was standing in front of the lighting display and had narrowed my choices down to 2 styles when I heard my name and turned to find Sue and her husband Rick approaching.

"Adam, hi! Funny bumping into you here, what are you working on today?"

"Oh, hi Sue, Rick, how's it going? Where are the girls?" He and I shook hands, which I should know better than to do. His hand always feels limp and a little damp, not a good handshake grip. I always feel like I have to be careful not to hurt him when he shakes my hand.

"We're good Adam, just working on my honey-do list, got to get some things done and keep the wife happy. The kids are at a friend's house today, kid's birthday party, you know."

That's another thing about Rick, he always looks everywhere but in your eyes. It's like he's afraid to make eye contact, and he always seems nervous. It was a good thing I knew this about him, or I would have suspected that he had found out that his wife had hit on me yesterday, and knew what had gone on on my patio. But he's always this way.

I was a little uncomfortable myself knowing what had transpired and what Sue wanted from me, but she apparently had no such qualms. She hugged me as if we were old friends when in fact we had just gotten to really know each other a little better only yesterday. After hugging me she held my arm and pressed herself against me, all but ignoring Rick. I was very aware of her feminine softness and warmth, and that she was wearing a nice subtle perfume or cologne.

I tried to break the awkwardness, not sure if I was the only one feeling it. "You guys are just in time, you can help me decide on new lights for my front porch. You should vote since it faces your house and you'll see 'em more than I will anyway."

Sue seemed pleased to be asked. "Oh, I love spending other people's money, I should have been a politician!"

I laughed at that, pretty quick wit. Rick smiled, but just stood there. "Well, I've got it down to two styles, the Arts & Crafts style up there, that square one, and the Lodge look over here with the wrought iron, yeah, that one. What do you think?"

Sue looked at both of them carefully, then indicated the Craftsman style. "That one I think, on your house. It goes better with the style of the home. Don't you think so Rick?"

I turned to find him staring at me. He quickly looked away. "Um, I don't know. Whatever you guys think."

Awkward, still strangely awkward. I had to end this. I grabbed two of that style from the shelf and stuck them in my cart. "Sold. Thanks for the help Sue, that was the one I was leaning toward myself, but couldn't make up my mind. Now I just have to go and install them. I'll see you guys around. Good seeing you again Rick."