A Religious Experience

This is a work of fiction. All characters and incidents portrayed and names within are fictitious and any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental. All places mentioned are only used to provide a framework, not to imply anything in this story actually occurred in those places. Although everyone is a fiction of our imagination, any sex within is among persons over the age 18.

Karin Roland, our favorite Private Investigator, makes another appearance in this story.

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A Religious Experience

Chapter One – Needing a Father's Help

It was almost noon on a bright Monday, another beautiful, sunny Florida day; but the sunshine didn't help improve John's mood as he stepped out of the taxi, walked up the steps and knocked on the front door of the small frame house one block off the Pensacola shoreline.

He heard the sounds of a Beethoven symphony over the hum of the air conditioner, so John knocked a little harder the second time. An older version of John answered the door; the man looked to be in his sixties; but there wasn't any gut showing over the shorts he wore, the haircut was the same as John remembered it, the short, Marine-style cut, only now with grey at the temples and little less covering on the top. A big smile graced the tan face as the man looked through the screen door at the unexpected visitor.

"John, come on in." as the man swung the screen door open.

"Hi, Dad."

Colonel Thomas Beck, USMC (Ret) held out his hand for the handshake; this man was not a hugger. John smiled as he took his Dad's hand. Some things never change; everywhere else in these United States men were hugging each other; but here in this last bastion of 1950's male-hood, men don't hug men, or women with whom they are not intimate.

"Good to see you, son." Tom and John Beck always exchanged Christmas and birthday cards and, although they talked occasionally on the phone, this was the first face to face in almost two years and their first conversation in months. "What brings you to Pensacola?"

Before John could answer, his father turned off the stereo, went to the frig to pull out a couple of beers, handed one to John and sat down in his favorite chair. While his father was opening the frig, John looked around the small living room; three photos were on the mantle, a photo of his dead mother, a photo of his step-mother and, most surprising of all, an eight-by-ten of John at his graduation from UT.

"Where's Sarah?" John inquired as to the whereabouts of his stepmother, his father's second wife.

"Gone up to Connecticut to take care of her mom. Her mom is eighty-five and needs to be in a care facility, Sarah is making the arrangements. We offered to house her here; but the old lady hates the South more than she hates a nursing home; so that's where she'll live out her years. Sarah will be sorry she missed you. Keeps asking when we were going to visit you; told her as soon as we got an invite."

John knew the dig would be coming and was pleased it came so early in the visit. They could get the unpleasantries out of the way and then John could begin the conversation about what was bothering him.

"Sorry, Pop."

Tom Beck stunned John by what he said next, "I'm sorry too, son. Sarah has me convinced this lack of communication is as much my responsibility as it is yours. Who would have guessed?" Tom laughed at his own joke before taking a long swig of his beer, but not before touching the neck of his beer bottle against the neck of John's. John laughed and drank to the unstated toast.

John took a seat on the couch and went right to it. "I need your advice, Pop. Figured you'd have some thoughts."

Just like his father to sit there without interrupting; so John continued. "Toni left me two weeks ago and took Jason with her."

Tom did his best to refrain from showing the surprise at the news his daughter-in-law and seven-year-old grandson had left John. Tom knew the couple were having issues related to Toni's recent conversion to a new church; but didn't know it reached this stage.

"Did she file for divorce?"

"No Dad; that's just the thing. Toni left without telling me where she went. As far as I can tell, she just emptied our accounts, packed a few suitcases with clothes for the two of them and took off. Toni said she was going to her sister's in California; I dropped her off at the airport; but her sister hasn't seen or heard from her. They never got on that or any other plane."

"I'm sorry to have to ask you this, John; but is there a reason she would take off without wanting you to know where she is?"

John understood the implication behind the question, the police asked the same question when John reported his family missing. The private detective John hired also asked it last week; now his father was asking it – had John abused his wife and/or son in some way? Did they leave because they feared for their safety? He expected the question from the others; but hearing his father ask made John understand how little he and his father knew each other.

"Dad, I'll tell you what I told the police; I've never done anything to cause Toni or Jason to fear me. And I've never been unfaithful, either. Although I'm starting to wonder if Toni can say the same; she's been getting deeper and deeper into that church she's been attending. The Reverend Holland seemed to have a Svengali hold on her."

"So - you've been to the police; what did they say?"

"After I swore up and down that I hadn't abused my family, they actually started to listen to me. They seemed interested when I told them that Toni was attending Holland's church. They went to the church and out to his ranch; but didn't find a thing. Reverend Holland claimed he didn't have anything to do with their disappearance and didn't know where they were. I hired a private detective last week and he couldn't find anything either.

"I thought for certain Holland had something to do with it; but then yesterday at five in the morning I received a call from Jason. He must have found Toni's phone and hit the button for my number on her contact list. It's something we taught him for emergencies. I asked Jason if he knew where he was and he said he was on a farm in the country. He was excited about staying where there were so many animals. Then I heard Toni's voice saying, "Jason, who are you talking to?" I screamed for Toni to talk to me, but the line went dead. I tried calling back, but there was no answer. One thing; just before Toni started yelling, Jason said he saw the Statue of Liberty; which would mean they were in New York City in the last two weeks."

"Did you tell this to the police?"

"I went to the police station the first thing in the morning. They're still treating this as a run-away wife. Told me I had to get a court order to make Toni bring Jason home and set up a visitation schedule. All kinds of shit! They weren't too impressed with Jason's statement about the Statue of Liberty, said a seven-year-old was bound to say anything and mistake any big statue for it."

Tom was getting pissed; this was his grandson that was missing. "Idiots."

"I'm stuck, Dad. Toni took almost all the cash and savings when she left. What was left over I had to give to the PI; and that was a complete waste of time and money. I used a credit card to fly here from Dallas. I'm broke and out of ideas. I need your help."

Thirty-one years and this was the first time Tom heard John ask him for anything. Thirty-one years and Tom would be damned if he'd allow this opportunity to pass by.

"You say New York? This is beyond my area of expertise; but I know someone who might be able to give us advice. A first lieutenant that used to be on my staff, got recruited by the CIA, spent time on anti-terror. Last time we talked, he was a detective out of New York City. Maybe he can give us some ideas."

"Us?"

"Sure; can you stand a road trip with your old man? We'll drive north, talk to Hank Price and his PI partner; get their thoughts. If it works out, I'll head up to Connecticut to spend some time with Sarah. It's been three weeks and I miss her."

Tom picked up his cell and made a call; talked for ten minutes before making a second call to his wife. Twenty minutes after saying, "Bye, I love you" his phone rang.

"Great, we'll see you then. Thanks Hank."

John looked at Tom, watching in wonder as his father took charge.

"Ready John? We have two days to get to New York because we're meeting with them Wednesday morning. If we take turns driving, we should easily be in New York by Tuesday night. I'll go pack a bag."

Chapter Two – John and Toni – A Look Back

John Beck met Toni Wilson, the future Mrs. Beck, at a meeting of recovering addicts. The twenty-year-old John was trying to get over his addiction to a variety of hallucinogenics, the pretty blonde who always sat in the left back corner was a former cocaine user. She rarely talked, so it was difficult to understand the depth of her addiction. It was John's fourth meeting before he worked up the courage to talk to her.

She seemed reluctant to befriend anyone at the meetings. John took his time; maybe exchanging a few words with her every couple of weeks at the coffee break.

Surprisingly, John was finishing his first year of therapy when it was Toni that finally gave him the kick in the butt to stop blaming his father for all his failures. They were now meeting infrequently for coffee away from the meetings. Toni leaned over the table and let him have it.

"Oh, boohoo, Daddy was tough on me and was never home. Fuck! I wish the asshole my mother lived with never came home! The son-of-a-bitch couldn't take his eyes off me. I walked around the house in sweats, even in the summer, just to avoid his fucking stares. I moved out of the house when I was seventeen; the fucker was always spying on me."

"What'd your mom do?"

Toni laughed when John asked the question.

"Mom was so frightened of being without a man, my dad took my half-sister and left her when I was ten, that she probably sighed in relief - I was out of the house and not a temptation for him any longer. Almost everybody's got a heartache story, John; you need to get over yours and call your dad."

Toni's words hit John like a ton of bricks a month later when the Beck family gathered at his Dad's house celebrating Christmas. John was always envious of his older brother and sister; their relationship with the Colonel and their good grades. It seemed as if they both were so well-adjusted. That Christmas Day, John's two siblings shared how envious they were of him - his ability to live life with such wild recklessness; "With the exception of the drugs, of course." his sister was quick to add before kissing him on the cheek.

Later that day John spent a half hour in the family room talking to his father. Both were civil and exchanged a few updates on their lives with one another, a first. The older siblings peeked in the room; but only for a moment, giving the two antagonists their space. They smiled, noticing the growing resemblance between the father and the son. Both would have been shocked if they knew their father doubted John's paternity for the first twelve years of his childhood.

John and Toni's relationship continued to grow, slowly. Coffee dates became dinner dates; kissing became more, but always stopping before intercourse. Then it happened one fall weekend after a drive through the Ozark Mountains when they stopped at a motel for the night.

The first time Toni and John made love was the first time in four years that John had sex without having smoked a joint, taken a tab of LSD or at least ingested a Peyote button. John almost told Toni to stop as she rubbed his erection through his pants, thank goodness there were no drugs in the room or he might have taken something just to calm down.

As John fondled Toni's breasts, Toni's moans encouraged him to take it another step. His fingers found her clit and he fumbled nervously. Toni placed her hand over John's; she guided his fingers until John knew what she wanted. Toni gripped John's neck with her other hand, whispering, "Right there, just like that, don't stop." John continued until Toni came on his finger. She looked him in the eye and smiled. "Let's take this to the bed."

In the bedroom Toni undressed, all she had on were a sundress and panties; she was genetically blessed with firm breasts that didn't need a bra to stand up, long legs and sexy curves. John stood watching as the dress went up over her head before she slipped the panties down her long legs. Toni saw John staring, smiled and took a step forward. She unbuttoned his shirt. Years of drug use had decreased the muscle tone; but John still possessed the broad shoulders and most of a swimmer's physique.

John entered Toni as she caressed his back and spread her legs to accept him. John had to work hard to control the desire to orgasm; he stopped a second time to delay the impulse. Toni had other ideas.

"Let it go, John. Let me feel it."

John came inside Toni; they kissed, looking into each other's eyes. John saw something in those eyes and he couldn't help himself.

"I love you, Toni."

Toni kissed John; her tears started. "I'm so happy; I love you, too."

They rested a while and made love again before falling asleep.

Within four months of that first weekend, Toni and John were married before a judge at the courthouse. It was a quiet affair, neither invited any family, the witnesses were two other recovering addicts from the support group.

Despite the challenges a marriage between two recovering addicts will face, their marriage was a good one. Within a year Toni was pregnant with Jason and the delivery was smooth. Toni refused the usual drugs and after six hours of labor, Jason came into the world; welcomed by two adoring parents. Two people bound and determined to be better parents than their own.

For the next five years, they kept that promise; John had a great job working for a software company in Dallas, money was not an issue. Then the bottom dropped out; Toni was pregnant with their second child, the twenty-week ultrasound showed they were expecting a little girl. Unfortunately, during the twenty-fourth week, Toni miscarried. The loss was more than Toni could stand. John knew this could be one of those triggers for any addict to start using again; he kept a close watch on Toni. The one thing that gave him hope, the hope Toni would not start using again - the love and nurturing she continued to give Jason.

John was almost relieved when Toni came back from attending a church service with one of the women from her job at the grocery store. Toni walked into the house that Sunday afternoon raving about the sermon.

"I'd like you to attend next Sunday's service with me. They have a Sunday School that Jason can attend while you and I go to Reverend Holland's service. I think you'll like it."

John did attend that next weekend and a few weekends after the first. John wasn't a religious person in the traditional sense; but the Reverend's sermons seemed a bit too outrageous even for him. There was always some undercurrent of sex within the context of each sermon and a few the other parishioners were too touchy-feely for John to get comfortable. One positive result of it all was Toni's growing libido, John and Toni were having sex at least four or five times every week again; at least for the first few months, then things began to taper off.

John's discomfort with the charismatic Reverend and his sermons grew and he stopped going to the Sunday services. John tried to convince Toni to find another church and another minister; but Toni seemed hooked on Holland. For the first six months, Toni was constantly angry at John for refusing to go with her; until she suddenly quit asking him to attend, which corresponded with the cessation of any and all intimacy between Toni and John.

It all led up to that fateful day two months later when John drove Toni and Jason to DFW, supposedly to catch a plane to Los Angeles. The day they both vanished.

Chapter Three – Toni Beck Gets Religion

Toni stared out the window and watched as the train sped through the small town; Jason nestled against her body. She just couldn't understand why John had to be so gol-darn stubborn. John should have agreed to attend services with her at Reverend Holland's Church of the Holy Spirit, instead he resisted being reborn. If John had agreed, the family would still be together.

But John refused to accompany her. He said she was substituting her former cocaine addiction with a new addiction. He actually said Reverend Holland was a fake and just a horny young man trying to get into her panties. John wouldn't even consider looking at all the booklets that Reverend Holland gave her. Toni even tried reading the booklets out loud to John – he just wouldn't listen.

The new knowledge fascinated Toni. So much of what she learned growing up was just plain wrong. So much of what people believe about sex and sin was distorted by the Jews and the Catholics. The Hebrew Rabbis changed the words of the seventh Commandment to: "Thou shalt not commit adultery". The original Commandment, the real words from God, were, "Thou shalt not force a married woman to have intercourse against her will".

And it was a fourth century Roman Catholic Pope that removed the entire fifth Gospel according to the Disciple Bartholomew, which proved Jesus and his Apostles shared their wives. It wasn't like they were in orgies or anything; they understood that sex was a gift from God and that it was best shared with your friends and loved ones.

Toni had a hard time believing these things at first, she was skeptical; until Reverend Holland gave her the two books written by Reverend McMasters of The Lord is My Shepherd Church in New Jersey. Even then Toni wasn't completely convinced until she read Reverend McMasters' biography on the back covers. This man had studied theology at Oxford and Princeton, two universities Toni knew were important. It also said the Reverend had personally studied the Dead Sea Scrolls, was fluent in Hebrew, Sanskrit and Aramaic. It really pissed Toni off when John displayed such an arrogant dismissal of Reverend McMasters' qualifications. Even Reverend Holland thought he was a genius.

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A few months earlier –

For some unknown reason, Holland took perverse pleasure in turning these former drug addicts into sex slaves. Any normal man, especially any man of the cloth, would celebrate a woman's recovery and her ability to become a faithful wife and good mother. For Holland, it was the opposite; women like Toni and the ones that preceded her had debased themselves for the high of shooting up heroin or sniffing cocaine, they had no right to think they could become 'normal' again.

Toni Beck was the fifth of what Holland hoped would be a long line of willing whores for his carnal pleasures. Holland especially enjoyed turning this one; that bastard she married was so damn full of himself. John Beck thought he had the world on a string: beautiful wife, wonderful son, well-paying job, and worse of all, he was another ex-addict who thought he could wash away the sins committed during his addiction to drugs. Well, fuck him! He should have seen that beautiful wife of his with her mouth around his cock.

Holland had taken Toni down to the small private lake on the ranch. With a few of the congregation on hand, singing hymns, Holland brought Toni into the shallow end and removed the white gown she was wearing. He lowered her into the water and baptized her. Toni looked up at the blue sky, not a cloud on this late Spring Texas morning, she imagined she could see clear to heaven.

Toni felt so peaceful as the Reverend poured water over her head before he gracefully dipped her into the warm lake water. Toni tried to remember the last time she experienced such peace; it was after the first time she and John made love following their wedding ceremony, when she was nestled in John's arms with him stroking her hair, just like the Reverend was stroking her hair right now.