I was riding my bike, hair blowing in the wind. Sun on my face. I was free. It was a warm late Spring day, Summer just starting to push its way through. I was on my way to see one of my best friends in the world. One of my husband's best friends too. The three of us had been through so much together since we were children. Rough childhoods didn't even begin to cover the three of us. But that was in California. We had all long since moved out of that state, away from our various forms of drama. Now, we were living in beautiful, green, picturesque Oregon. In a relatively small town. And it was heavenly, compared to all the things and people we left behind.
"Hey Jason!" He was standing on his porch, his long red hair flowing in the slight breeze. I was so glad he decided to grow it out again. I was devastated a few years earlier, when he asked me to cut it all off for him. I had missed brushing it out and running my fingers through it. Plus, it just fits him better. He was my rocker friend, and all that hair looked phenomenal when he was rocking out and started head-banging.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Just out riding my bike, and I ended up here. Is that a problem?"
"Not at all. Wanna come in and cool down?"
"Yeah, I'll come in and take a little break."
"Cool. I was just watching That 70's Show."
"When are you not watching that show? Oh yeah, when you're playing video games with my husband." He didn't respond. He just kind of laughed while grabbing my bike and carrying it inside. I took my shoes off before we settled down on the couch, my head in his lap, something I had done numerous times in my life. As was Jason's custom, there was a joint sitting in the ashtray, on his coffee table. He started absently playing with my hair. It felt nice when he started rubbing my scalp, I turned around, and put my feet up on his lap. Without a second thought, his hands started massaging them. Jason always had big strong hands. Feeling them on my feet reminded me of the time when we were teenagers, and I was staying the night at his place, because his older sister was my best friend growing up. We were the only two up, and I let him grope my tits. He was the first person to ever touch them, besides myself. That same night, at the same time, I gave my first hand job. That was a little secret between us for years, until I fell in love with Jesse, my husband. But, for sure, nobody ever told Jason's sister.
Falling for Jesse was like opening up all these different sexual aspects of myself. And Jason was there for all of it. At first, his girlfriend at the time, Jewel, was around too. When I was about twenty-one, I told Jesse that I wanted to kiss a girl. One night when the four of us were hanging out, Jesse helped me achieve that goal. Jewel and I were nervous, so Jesse said that he and Jason would go first. It was a brief kiss between the two of them, and Jewel and I laughed when Jesse complained that it was weird to have someone else's facial hair rubbing against his face. But it worked. We were relaxed and sitting on the trunk of Jesse's car at the time.
I grabbed her face and brought it towards mine. The whole experience was different from any guys I had kissed. Her lips were fuller. And we took the time to kiss without our tongues for quite a while. We pecked on the lips, a few times. Then the pecks lasted a bit longer, with a bit more pressure. And then our mouths opened, but still no tongue. We really took the time to explore both top and bottom lips before I gently stuck my tongue out, seeking hers. I stroked her hair and pulled her closer to me. It was thrilling feeling someone else's breasts pushed against mine. And her tongue was somehow softer than any guy's. There was no rushing the kiss. No trying to get to the next thing. We just enjoyed the moment, forgetting that our boyfriends were watching us. When we finally pulled away, I was amazed to realize that I had pushed her down to where we were almost lying on the trunk. For years after that night, Jesse would tease me saying that I got aggressive, almost like I was the guy.
Months before that night though, is when I knew there was something different about Jesse. And something different about me when we were together. Nothing seemed to faze him sexually. And with him, I was the same way. Wanna try watching porn together? Sure, I'm down. How about you let me pee on you in the shower? Alright, let's try. Public sex? Oh yeah, in a couple of different parks, and even once in the restroom of our local Mexican restaurant. But this one particular night, I found myself in a situation I never thought I would. We were at Jesse's mom's house. All four of us were staying the night there. She was cool with it. Jesse and I were on one couch, Jason and Jewel on the other. We were hanging out, watching something on TV. Jesse and I started kissing. I straddled his lap, like I often did when we were making out. The thing that was different about this night is we didn't stop. Neither did Jason and Jewel. They were also making out. And then clothes came off. And still, none of us stopped. I saw Jesse looking over at them. I saw Jason looking over at us. When Jesse laid me down and entered me, I was looking at Jason. It was so surreal. And incredibly hot. I was watching my friends fucking, while getting fucked. It's still a moment I think about to this day, because I think of that night as a turning point for where our relationships would end up in the future.
"Does this feel good?" Jason took me out of my daze asking me about the foot rub.
"You know it does. Your hands are amazing."
"Ah, thanks." After a few more moments, he stopped rubbing, and reached for his joint. "You want some?"
"Yeah, why not?" He handed me the joint, and we went back to watching the show. Jason always had strong weed, and it wasn't long until I really felt myself relax into his couch. Soon after, he started rubbing my feet again. It was always like an automatic reaction with us. I put my feet in his lap, and his hands started rubbing.
"Hey, Jason, do you remember that first time I kissed Jewel?"
"Of course, I do. You guys made us kiss first."
"So not what happened. Jesse volunteered. "
"Sure, he did. I bet he couldn't wait to get his hands on me." I laughed, and Jason joined in. "Why'd you suddenly ask me about that?"
"I was just thinking about it."
"Well, any time you want to kiss another girlfriend of mine, just let me know. I won't stop you."
"I'm sure you won't." And then we laughed some more. "I miss Jewel. I wish she didn't break off your guys' engagement." He just nodded. After the episode was over we were watching, he decided to put on some music. Metallica faded in the background while I felt my mind wandering. I was thinking about when I was pregnant with my first son. About the night, my relationship with Jason changed forever.
"I can't believe she broke up with you over the phone."
"Yeah, she could have waited until she was back from vacation and did it face-to-face." We were in their bedroom, in the condo we all shared at the time. Jewel left a few days before to go to Mexico with her family. Jason's body was shaking, tears silently streaming down his face. I was holding him, stroking his hair. I don't know about the guys, but I kind of saw this coming. A few days before her trip, Jason and Jewel got into a big fight. Her engagement ring slipped off: it had always been a bit big for her finger. Back then, Jason had a job as a host at IHOP. Jewel was on the rise at the bank she had worked at for a few years. He was ready to have a baby. She was not. She said in a not so polite way that she wanted to wait until they were more financially stable to have kids. I guess maybe she needed to be away from the situation to really figure out how she felt.
Jason, Jesse and I had all been friends since we were children. None of us met Jewel until we were in high school. We had Jason's back. "What exactly did she say?" I asked Jason.
"She said that we are not on the same page right now. That she wants to focus on building her career, and that I need to get a 'grown up' job. Damn man, we're only in our twenties. What does she want from me?" I was twenty-three at that time. I was about six months older than Jesse, and about a year older than Jason and Jewel. Part of me agreed with Jason. We were all still young. But at the same time, a part of me thought Jewel had a point. If Jason wanted to get married and have a baby, he should start thinking about what he wanted his future to look like.
Jesse and I had been together about three years. About a year into our relationship, Jesse started an electrician apprenticeship. He had about a year left. And I was a transcriber. I liked the freedom of working on my own schedule. Jesse and I were engaged and planning our intimate wedding. I often wondered if Jason and Jewel got engaged just to try to keep up with us. Not to mention, Jason never brought up having a baby until I was already pregnant.
"Man, that sucks." That was Jesse. Always so eloquent with the words. I just nodded in agreement, while still stroking Jason's hair. I gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Jason. You're such a good guy, so sweet, so generous. One day you'll find somebody who loves you for you. I promise." And then I gave him a peck on the lips.
"Can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?" Jesse was talking to me.
"Sure," I looked at Jason. "We'll be right back." He nodded. Jesse and I walked out. "What's up?"
"I think you should sleep with Jason." I just looked up at him with a question in my eyes. "Tonight."
"What the hell are you talking about? Why would I sleep with Jason? We're engaged, and I'm pregnant with your baby. Have you lost your mind?"
"Not at all. Jason is my best friend."
"I know that, and?"