Foreword
I have been out of sorts lately. One of my cherished doggies passed away recently and I was devastated by that. Then I got sick... but I survived! I have not felt like writing lately. I did a little flash story. Just a bit of fun. Darker Binding edited this before i could even ask him! Any remaining errors are mine and mine alone. As always read with tongue firmly in cheek. I write for fun. If you don't appreciate my little stories, you are invited to take pen in hand and write one yourself. God bless us all Tiny Tim, and please try to stay safe, so we can all get through this terrible time together. I'm putting this in loving wives because there is a loving wife! Wow, irony there. No persons under eighteen in this story, Any similarity to anyone living or not is purely coincidental.
Comforting Wife's College Friend
"She won't be any problem Honey, I promise!" Arleen said. Arleen, my darling wife of fifteen years, was currently trying to get me to accept her old college roommate visiting us for a week or two.
"Yeah right," I said very sarcastically, "she almost broke us up in college. Have you forgotten the little trick she pulled on us? Or how about when she got you drunk and stoned and you almost fu-" I was reminding her.
"-Yes, yes, yes I almost fucked that football guy... But you saved me!" Arleen said fervently.
"I almost went to jail over you! I was just lucky there were lots of witnesses, and she got off scott free didn't she? So after all that fuckin bullshit, you have some real chutzpah to want me to let her stay with us. For God's sake, our house is not that big. Can't she stay with her mom?"
"Her mother, Sheila, got divorced last year. She's in a tiny one-room efficiency. Monica's dad sorta disowned her after she fucked you with her little stunt. Which by the way, I have never, ever, heard you complain about in all these years..." She had a kind of misery in her voice.
"For the one-thousandth time, I am sorry, and I swear to God I thought it was you. I mean we were drunk, but I know it was you I went to bed with. I wasn't going to check your I.D. at four a.m. while I was fucking her... I mean you... Oh fuck, you know what I mean! I am truly sorry for what happened. I think Monica is a dirty little slut. And you did tell me about-" again she cut me off.
"-I've told you a hundred times, we were just kind of experimenting, it's not like we were bull dyke lesbians! We both like cock more than pussy." She is always a bit embarrassed by her slutty behavior. I kinda liked it, especially if it involved her having sex with another woman, oh yeah!
"Ok, maybe Monica is a dirty little slut, but George... She is in real, serious trouble. I have never seen you turn someone away who truly needed help. That's just not like you! Her husband was cheating on her for sure, and then the bastard froze all of their bank accounts, so she would be totally and completely broke." My wife was very upset. Arleen is always on the side of the little person. The one with no power in the relationship.
"Can't her lawyer?-" as I spoke, Arleen interrupted me again but. I'm a husband and used to it.
"-She's working on it as we speak. How long? I don't know. A few days or a week at most, but I'm not a damn lawyer. George... Monica needs a little bit of emotional and physical comfort. He hit her you know. The son of a bitch punched her in the face."
"I did not know that. Well then sure, call her up and... Now what?" I saw her face. Something else going on in her pretty little head, I'm pretty damn sure. I can't stay mad at her. She just wiggled her perfect little ass and I was done. I become just like all the other housebroken husbands: a sycophant, whose motto is "yes dear," I thought to myself. Her ass is my kryptonite. I hate it when she leaves, but I love to watch her go! Oh yeah!
"You have to go get her. The cars are both in his name only, because of the business. If Monica drives one of them, he promised to put her in jail.
"The bastard used ten thousand dollars out of their household accounts to bail himself out of jail, and then he cut her off moneywise... completely. He is such a fucker.
"They have an emergency court hearing next week on Tuesday, but that's eight days away. She is terrified of him now. I need my big strong fearless husband..." She ran her hands over my biceps and chest.
"Wait, you have another husband? He's big, strong, and FEARLESS?" I smiled at my wife. She punched my arm.
"George! Don't make me spank you!" She giggled.
"You would like to spank my ass, wouldn't you?" I looked at her. Her face told it all.
I launched into my ideas.
"Well, there will be a few rules. One. No girl's nights out. You want to drink or dance... Do it here so nobody goes to jail or to the hospital... Two. She can't secretly fuck me or you- "
"Unless both spouses agree to it!" She giggled. What a dirty girl my wife is.
"I'm gonna spank you right now I think... Three. No drugs-"
"-Come on! Monica still smokes pot. It calms her down. I like getting high too! You're such a stick in the mud." My wife is a pothead! She fucks me silly when she gets high.
"And pot makes both of you into sex-crazed horny toads...No tobacco in the house either. Can't stand the smell... Four. No, no, no bringing home guys! Period. If she's ready for that action, then she surely doesn't need to be here at all."
I waited for the argument, which never came. Hmm. So they would be doing that behind my back? My wife's slutty behavior may be destroying our marriage. I won't put up with that shit. I'll divorce her ass first. But I would extend a real olive branch: "I will make an extra effort to be nice to her. I will kiss her ass because I know Monica means a lot to you. Are you coming over to her house to help her pack up and whatnot?" I asked her, thinking she was going to jump at the chance. I was wrong. She shook her head no.
I don't think she wanted to go at all. I explained that I needed her, "I would like to have a video just in case I have to change his attitude. That is important if things do get physical, so make sure that your phone is charged up. It's very, very important and might keep me out of jail!" I knew damn well it was going to wind up in a fistfight. I kinda like a good fight now and then.
I was actually thinking he probably had lots of really good reasons to be pissed off. This is why I don't want to get involved in other folk's marriages or their relationships. Very good chance to fuck things up worse!
She reached down to my crotch and rubbed my cock through my pants. "I have a very special favor to ask of you, my darling husband. You know that I love you so much it hurts, right?" She said. Why did she say that? Uh-oh... She called me the d-word. Darling. Condition red, battle stations, look out! Incoming! Here it comes! I decided if I was going to die, I should at least remind her that I love her as well.
"I love you more. I would die for you. I would kill for you. I would pretty much do anything you could possibly ask me to do. I love you so much." I said it, and I meant it too. I waited for the pitch.
"Would you really do anything for me? Seriously? This request is a big deal. It would mean a lot to your loving wife. I will try to understand if you say no, but I pray that you at least think about it first. Will you at least think about it before you turn it down?" She must be asking for a very big deal. She was almost 'pre-apologizing!'
"What are you talking about? Murder and or mayhem? Did you just kill someone and I need to go dispose of the body? Plan on an armed robbery? Kidnapping? Did you knock over a bank or something equally bad? WHAT IS IT?!"
"I want you to fuck and suck someone for me. And I want to watch you fuck her, make her come, and possibly I will then participate a bit. When you cum inside of her... I want to lick your sweet jism out of her cunt! I know it violates our wedding vows, but if you and I both do it together, maybe it's not so bad." She was absolutely serious. "Will you at least think about it and consider it? Not just say no out of hand? Please?" She was not joking about this at all.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT. WHO?" Of course, I knew. Aargh!
My female nemesis.
"You know who. Come on."
"Monica? Really? She may have a fucking turd of a husband, but they are technically still married. Even if the bastard did punch her, and cheat on her, they are still married. Do you want to fuck up her damn marriage for sure? This is not a good idea. I want you to think about THAT," I said emphatically.
"Her husband has not touched her in two full years. I know you find it hard to believe, but she has remained faithful to the son of a bitch! He stays out and drinks, or comes home smelling like sex two or three times a week, lipstick all over his clothes. Sometimes he doesn't even come home at all. Phone calls from strange women every day.
"It's not even the first time he has hit her. This was just the first time she called the cops on his ass. She is very much afraid of him. Have you ever hit a woman?"
"I spanked your ass, but since you had -I don't know how many orgasms- after that, I don't know if you can count that as 'hitting'. I don't condone what he did, but she is only telling you her side of the story. What about his reasons for his behavior? It's probably gonna wind up in divorce court," I opined.
"She has been to a lawyer. I want to lend her the money for the lawyer, and the private investigator. I have never, ever, asked anything from you in our whole marriage. If she and he somehow do reconcile... So what? Good for them. If you won't help me, I will pawn all my jewelry and sell my car. I am begging-"
"-Stop already! Of course, I am going to come and help her. WE will help her with the divorce costs, you are not selling anything! I just wanted to know if you understood the dire ramifications of what you want me to do. There is a big difference between just helping her out, and then me fucking her brains out! For God's sake, she doesn't even like me! What makes you think she will even go through with this? She might cut off my balls for sport," saying my case.
"Because she told me how lucky I was to have a good, decent husband like you. She said-" choking up... My wife started to cry.
"What? What did she say, Honey?" I asked her. Trying to calm her down.
"If she had met you first, she would have married you in a heartbeat! She is and has been, very jealous that you are mine. She has seen how you treated me over the years and..." She was crying again, unable to speak for a second.
