After I decided to polish this old story up for the April Fools contest, I decided to submit a quick one first, which involved absurd attempt at a prank ("Not the Call He was Expecting"). This one is longer, definitely more realistic, and somber, but the criteria of the contest didn't say funny or happy -- just involving a deception, which there is more than enough of in this tale. Again, this is work of fiction and not a moral statement on how couple should act. And, honestly, people's actions in real life can often be less plausible than most stories on this site. Hope you enjoy and appreciate all criticism -- even the ones I do not agree with.
"I'm serious," Kevin said sternly, "You go to this thing with him, Amy, and our marriage is over."
His wife of seven years, who looked absolutely stunning in her black dress that accented her slender five-foot-seven-figure and 34C breasts, glared with her hands on her hips, "Me going to a charity gala is going to end our marriage?"
Kevin met Amy in college and they married shortly after he graduated with his accounting degree. He worked to support both of them so she could finish her English degree. For six years, he considered them to have a very happy marriage. Lots of communication, lots of fun, and lots of great sex. Unfortunately, just over a year prior, Amy's position, which she loved, was eliminated due to the recession. The company found her a new one, which was a lot more stressful, and that she clearly hated.
The fun was the first to go; all Amy wanted to do was vent or distress from her day. After four months, Kevin noticed it was taking a strain on their relationship, so he sat her down and told her she needed to leave work at work -- like he did -- for the sake of their marriage. As a result, Amy stopped venting, but also stopped discussing anything really important in her life -- so the communication was also gone. Their discussions seemed forced; more like roommates than a married couple. Of course, lack of the first two led to a steady decline of sex. Kevin couldn't remember the last time they even French kissed, and it had been two months since they had sex. He knew before he was tipped off that there was another man in the picture.
It had been a week since he confronted her about it. For months, Amy had been going for lunch, having drinks, and even going to movies with a Jackie. Kevin was starting to suspect there was something going on before June, a wife of his coworker, told him about seeing Amy holding hands with a man at the coffee house where she worked. Amy played dumb, like she didn't know Kevin was assuming Jackie was a she, and it did make a big difference. Her big argument was that she knew June worked there, so why would she take a man she was having an affair with somewhere they'd be sure to be caught? Kevin answering her rhetorical question ended up with him spending two days in the guest bedroom -- which before this mess started was going to be converted to a nursery.
"You cheating sure will," Kevin said, "and believe me, that's what's going to happen if you go tonight."
"You think that little of me?"
"Fuck, I love you more than anything," Kevin said, "That's why I'm begging you not to go. It's him I don't trust, not you. You keep saying nothing's happening, and I believe you, except it's nothing has happened yet... He's been working your way into your heart and it's obvious there's less room there for me."
"How many times do I have to say it," Amy said flustered, "Work is so fucking stressful that sex is the last thing on my mind. And you complained about it last time..."
"I want intimacy, not sex... That has disappeared and I know why," Kevin said angrily, "These tickets are, what, five hundred dollars a pop? Only reason a guy would ever spend that money on a female that he wasn't related to is to woo her. You're taking a cab, so obviously you plan to drink..."
"I plan to have a good time. Something we haven't had for a while," Amy snapped.
"And it's my fault. If I didn't ask you last week to make sure you're free tonight, you wouldn't have even told me about this gala," Kevin said.
"Well, you finally decide to plan something," Amy said, "Not my fault it was too late -- we're fucking married, you couldn't plan something for another day? It was just dinner reservations."
Kevin shook his head. "Fine, it's my fault your entire social life with your 'just friends' guy is booked up before I ever have a chance to plan anything anymore. And, no, if you leave, mark my words, something will happen tonight and we will no longer be married. Please, Amy, I love you. If you love me still, don't go."
"Don't guilt me," Amy said with narrowed eyes as she pointed at him with a perfectly manicured finger, "You know how I feel about you. I'm going to have a really good time tonight with my friend and coming home to my husband. Unless, of course, you're going to act like a jealous teenager and leave me...Bye."
Kevin had a hard time falling to sleep in the spare bedroom. He just had a sick feeling in his stomach, hoping to hell that he was wrong. However, his instinct and common sense told him that he was right. All those wonderful years together, and this is where they were at in their lives? He'd never guessed Amy would ever forget what day it was -- that in itself was a big red flag how far apart they've gotten the last six months.
It was nine in the morning, when Kevin woke up. He climbed out of bed cautiously; not knowing when Amy got home if she got home at all. He heard her stirring in their bedroom, right across the hall. With the door open, he could see his empty side of the bed, but not his wife. He climbed out of bed and went into the master bedroom.
She sounded half-asleep and was tossing and turning about to wake up -- probably nursing a big hangover. Kevin noticed she just dumped her black dress in the middle of the floor -- which definitely meant she was really drunk. It was her favorite and most expensive dress, which he bought her for their fifth anniversary. He picked the dress up to hang it up for her, when he noticed her black lace panties underneath. He noticed something with the crotch, from how they were lying on the floor.
With a trembling hand, he picked them up by the waistband, swore out loud, and dropped them immediately. At that moment, the heartbreak was stronger than the anger, as his eyes teared up.
His curse was loud enough that Amy sat up with a startled look. She looked confused for a second, then looked down at the panties and up at Kevin with wide eyes.
"Oh my god, please, Kev," Amy pleaded, "Believe me it's not what it looks like. I was just really mad and stupid..."
Kevin didn't hear another word she said, just knew "sorry" wasn't one of them, as he quickly grabbed some clothes. He got dressed in the hall, grabbed his car keys and planned to find a place to do some serious drinking and not look back.
**
The officer banging his keys on the cell door was like chainsaws drilling into Kevin's brain through his ears.
"Wakowsky, you're free to go," he said opening the door.
It was the morning or afternoon after Kevin found the panties. He wasn't sure, and still wasn't sure what all happened the night before. He picked up his things from the clerk and dreaded seeing Amy. He was partly happy, partly ashamed when it was Roger, his brother-in-law who was a criminal attorney. He'd always gotten along really good with Amy's older brother, who was about five years older than him -- in his mid thirties.
"Shit, Kevin...you smell almost as bad as you look," Roger said wrinkling his nose looking at dried vomit on the younger man's jeans.
"She knows..."
"Yeah..."
"Good," Kevin said, squinting his eyes as they headed outside.
"Look, Amy told me what happened," Roger started after they got into his truck, "Believe me, you are damn lucky things weren't worse for you. Told them I was your lawyer, and explained the situation. They decided to let you off with a warning. Trying to pick up a hooker and getting into car with her that drunk? You're damn lucky that plains clothes officer stopped you. Wanting to drive drunk isn't illegal, but if you have started that car..."
"So what do I owe my lawyer?" Kevin joked, "I guess I'll need a real one soon enough."
"What the fuck were you thinking, a hooker?"
Kevin shook his head. "I don't know... I can't remember that. I just remember being so angry for what she did I wanted to get even. I was going to find a woman as hot as Amy and have sex that night. I guess, I'm not one-night-stand material for women that attractive unless I pay."
"Yeah, that drunk and smelling like puke... I wonder why..." Roger sighed and shook his head. "Look... Amy wanted to wait and tell you in person, but you need to know everything before you see her..."
"If she's going to deny what she did. Sorry, I know it's your sister, but her panties were still wet with his semen..."
Please, Kev... I don't know how you and Amy got this bad, but please listen to me," Roger said emphasizing with his one hand off the steering wheel, "What she did was incredibly fucking stupid, and I tore a strip out of her for it, but she didn't have sex with the guy. She was angry and drunk; so to teach you a lesson, she got Jackie to jerk off into your panties, and then she put them there for you to find."
"What? You bought that bullshit?" Kevin said. Roger was a successful attorney and one of the smartest people Kevin ever met -- which was intimidating when he first dated Amy.
"It's true... Amy swears that she realized it was a mistake, tried to hide them with her dress, and was going to wash them first thing in the morning. But you found them before she woke up." Roger took a breath. "I think when they were really loaded, it seemed like a joke to them... Teach you a lesson about being jealous of Jackie for no reason."
"For no reason? The only thing we've done together outside the house for month is get groceries because every spare moment she's with him. And last night of all nights..."
"She remembered now... feels like crap. Look, I'm not saying she didn't fucked up big time -- she did, but she didn't fuck up bad enough for you to go screw around on her." Roger turned and had a stern look. "Like I said, you are damn lucky. If you succeeded, I would've left your ass in jail..."
"She's cheating whether she admits it or not," Kevin argued.
"I met Jackie last night, after you disappeared," Roger said, "She's not cheating on you... Kev, the guy's gay... I mean really gay. She thinks of him like a girl friend... She claims she never told you because she was worried you'd get all homophobic. Be mad for her playing a cruel trick, but she didn't cheat."
"I still disagree," Kevin said sharply.
Roger walked in the house with Kevin. Amy was sitting on the couch, wearing leggings and an old metal band shirt. Her hair was a mess, and no make up. It was obvious she'd been crying a lot.
"Sis, already told him everything," Roger said sternly at Amy, "Remember, most of this is your damn fault. If Jessie pulled what you did, I would've done a helluva lot worse." He nodded at Kevin and walked out.
