Five weeks had passed since that night I first saw Megan, and telling Adam had made things worse. His disbelief passed faster than I would have thought, and then he began pushing me on the idea of pursuing her! A few nights after that first one he described what it would be like to have another girl go down on me, how another girl would be able to do things only another girl would know how. It had made me so wet that I came the instant his tongue touched me for a demonstration, but the whole episode only spun me deeper into a web of tangled emotions. At first his behavior shocked me, but a couple of male acquaintances in college had told me there isn't a man alive who's not turned on by the idea of two girls together, so it's possible Adam had his own motives. For a couple of weeks he bugged me about it almost continually. The feelings had me confused and conflicted, though, and I didn't want to discuss it with him any further. To get him to leave it alone, I managed, to my own amazement, to pull off a rather big lie. The small part of the lie was that I'd told him that Megan had left the class after two weeks, and that I knew nothing about her other than her name, so whatever it had been, it was over. The bigger part of the lie was that it wasn't over, that the feelings in me were complicated but strong, and I had to hide them from Adam all the while they were growing stronger. I found Megan creeping into my thoughts with increasing frequency. She'd become a mental tool for my imagination to explore how a relationship with a girl might feel, both physically and emotionally. Those musings had become quite powerful now, having developed into a full on fantasy that I both desired and feared. A fantasy with Megan at its center.
Tonight she was late to class and it distracted me. Most nights, just waiting for her to walk in the door was enough to create a warm tingling between my legs; not arousal, but something close to it. I found myself anticipating her presence every Thursday night, excited by the thought of her dancing around the floor in next to nothing. This was the first time she'd ever been late, however, and the first thought that screamed across my mind was a mixture of fear and relief. What if she weren't coming back? My stomach churned and twisted in knots until, about five minutes in the main workout, the door at the back of the room opened and in walked Megan, followed by a tall, attractive blond I'd never seen before. They were dressed in identical sweatsuits sporting a logo I couldn't quite read from across the room. At the same time, as if the motions had been practiced, Megan and the blond girl removed their sweatshirts over their heads, their movements more sensual than necessary, and they seemed to be staring right at me as they tossed the shirts to the floor. Underneath they were wearing the sexiest tight black sports bras I'd ever seen. Before I'd really finished looking them over, they took down their pants. This time there was no question they were casting intentional looks straight at me. If their sports bras were skimpy, the boyshorts they wore could be described as next to nonexistent. I watched them walk out onto the exercise floor, causing a few other women to stop and turn to look behind them. I saw several eyes rolling as they turned back around and returned to the routine.
For the next forty-five minutes, Megan and the blond put on a show. There's no other way to describe it. And it was a show that appeared to be for my benefit; I had the only clear view of the two of them. A lot of the motions in Zumba are already quite sensual; tonight Megan and her friend made them overtly sexual. They left no doubt that I was the target audience, and the idea that it was intentional for the purpose of getting my attention sent small shivers through my midsection. I enjoyed watching, but it didn't affect me much until we came to a point in the dance where the hands are clapped together in front of the body down low, kept together as the arms are raised above the head, and then the arms swung apart in big arcs as if the dancer is trying to swim upwards through the air. The blond girl, for the most part, started out doing the moves just like everyone else. Megan, however, instead of clapping her hands together, placed them between her legs, and during the upward motion, instead of just moving her hands up through the air, she caressed her body all the way up, across the muscles of her abdomen, up to her breasts which she would squeeze each time through, and finally up through hair. After the third or fourth pass, I could see her nipples began poking rock hard through the thin sport bra. The blond girl watched Megan for a moment, and then began an identical routine. What finally got me was that each time Megan performed the motion, she pulled her shorts tighter and tighter into herself, until the material was being pulled up taught between her labia, forming a crease that made it clear she had on no underwear. When she began dragging her fingers through that crease, I lost control. Watching them was making me wet, stirring in me a deep, almost primal sexual feeling that I didn't know I had. I wanted to join them, to stimulate my own body they way they were stimulating theirs. So strong was the feeling, I almost did. Horrified that I was on the verge of masturbating in front of a room full of other women, I collected my thoughts and focused on the routine, thankful that the exertion masked my arousal. I repositioned myself a bit, and for the remaining ten minutes of the class tried not to look in their direction. I looked anyway, unable to help myself, but though they both continued to keep their eyes on me, they had apparently decided to end the show.
After class they were the last to emerge from the locker room, and other than the three of us, the room was empty now. Showered and dressed again in their light sweatsuits, they approached me. Megan introduced the blond girl, Kim, a college friend she hadn't seen for a couple of years, and they invited me out for drinks. My heart raced. Given the performance they'd put on in class, drinks couldn't possibly be all they had in mind, and it caught me off guard, both thrilling me and scaring me all at once. I was sure I was blushing deep red, and I caught Megan and Kim exchanging sly glances. After some scattered thoughts that I couldn't quite collect, and coaxing from both Megan and Kim, I accepted. I really wanted a shower first, but they convinced me I was fine the way I was. I called Adam and told him I was going out for a while with a couple of the girls from class. Several of my friends were in my classes and after-class outings were not unusual, but had he known I was heading out for drinks with Megan and Megan's new friend, he would have been far more inquisitive. In my own car I followed Megan and Kim in Megan's beautiful Saturn Aura to the Chili's on Shoreline Drive. One hour and two daiquiris later, I'd learned a lot about them. They had both grown up in Connecticut, had met at UConn, and now they were both teachers. Megan was starting a new job in the fall at Prisk Elementary here in Long Beach and had moved here six weeks ago. Kim lived in Boston and was visiting for about a month. Our casual conversation continued until I was taking the final sip of my second daiquiri, and I was thinking that it was time to make an exit. Megan must have noticed me glancing at my watch.
"How did you like the show tonight?" Megan's question blew the rest of the night's conversation to pieces. I hadn't been sure what form it was going to take, but I'd known it was coming. My heart jumped at the question and I fumbled for words to voice an answer.
"Why don't you come back to Megan's place with us and we'll finish the show?" Kim asked the question in a soft disarming voice. I hadn't even managed a reply to Megan's question when Kim's new one sent my head spinning. Inside I was a mess. A mixture of excitement and apprehension had my stomach in knots.
The question hung in the air. I wanted to go with them, ideas about what might happen running through my imagination, but I felt unprepared, unsure. An uncomfortable silence screamed at me for an answer, pressuring me to speak even though I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I can't," I said, surprising myself that the words escaped my lips. Disappointment registered on their faces, but having spoken the words, I stuck by them, and a few minutes later, after an awkward goodbye, I was in my car heading for home, my thoughts spinning in every direction. By the time I reached my driveway, I regretted my choice. I almost kept driving. I could turn around and go back. But, they were sure to be gone, and I didn't know where Megan lived. If I had, I would have driven straight there. I began considering ways I might find her address, but then I felt silly. I pulled the car into the drive, turned off the engine, and sat for several minutes, collecting myself, trying to put the events out of my mind.
Instead, for the next week, I could think of nothing else. I managed to keep it hidden from Adam---he didn't ask questions at least---but regret and anticipation tore at me the entire week. When Thursday night arrived, I bounced back and forth between being fearful that Megan and Kim wouldn't show, and fearful that they would.
