"But you're not even a mother!" I almost shouted
I was speaking as if I had a mouth full of peanut butter, as I had been caught so off guard by her statement that I had started speaking with my mouth still full of salad. Maureen just laughed at me.
"I guess that's just the name the league started with... you don't actually have to be a mother to join. There is no Mother's test" She teased.
We were having lunch at the diner around the corner from the office and I looked around with embarrassment after my outburst, hoping no one from our office was within earshot. Maureen, or Mo as I have called her almost since we first met, and I have been best friends for ten years. We bonded almost instantly upon her first starting with our small firm. Sitting at lunch she had just nonchalantly mentioned that she has been wrestling other women in a 'Moms Wrestling League' for almost a full year. My initial response was more a result of the shock I felt from hearing about this for the first time. Mo and I share everything, there were no taboos, or at least I thought there weren't. That was a big part of why I was so stunned to learn that she had been doing this for almost a year and this was the first I was hearing of it.
I forced myself to slow down. I would at least finish chewing my mouthful of salad before ripping into her for keeping this secret from me for so long.
Deep breathe, trying not to chew like a cow, but anxious to get to my next several hundred questions, I was genuinely surprised by the anger that was welling up inside of me. This was a real betrayal. How could she not have mentioned this earlier, we talk about everything, there is nothing Mo doesn't know about me. Yet she had been in a 'WRESTLING' league for nearly a year and this was the first I was hearing of it.
"How did you get started?" I managed to stammer after a premature swallow of my half chewed salad.
"Do you remember Sally? She used to work in HR"
"How could I forget, she used to dress for work like she was soliciting money for sex!"
Mo chuckled and said "Well she mentioned it to me and I figured I would give it a go, it is the best exercise I have ever gotten."
This was undoubtedly true as it takes us back to how this conversation got started. Mo has always been very heavy ever since I met her ten years ago. At a short 5 foot 1 inch tall, I would guess she was usually around 150 pounds. She is fortunate in as much as she is very curvy, a good deal of her extra weight can be found in her ample breasts, and while she has always worn her weight well, there was no hiding the fact that she was a junk food junky. I never considered Mo to be fat though, her extra weight fit her bubbly personality and her eighties style teased hair frames her round face perfectly. I have always considered Mo to be extremely cute, but it is possible that her amazing personality plays a huge role in how unbelievably adorable I find her. Regardless of my mood, Mo has always been able to cheer me up just be walking into the room. That is such a rare gift that I have treasured our close friendship since we met, and I would dare say that I have never been as close with anyone as I am with Mo.
Still, I could not believe what I was hearing. A calming wave settled over me as I realized Mo was pulling my leg.
"Mo, you're so full of it, you really had me going there for a second. Now really, tell me how you lost those twenty pounds or you REALLY will be in a wrestling match much sooner than you expect."
"I am not pulling your leg, I really am in a wrestling league, and if you wanna know for sure, go ahead and come at me. I will have you crying mercy before your back hits the floor." She said with her trademark chuckle making the last two words sound like part of her laugh.
As I stared at her I could tell by her eyes that she was telling the truth. My calm was being replaced with the surprising anger I felt just a few moments prior, "How the hell did you not mention this earlier? I seriously want to kick your ass right now" I said without a trace of humor.
Her cold stare brought me back down to earth as she uttered two words I could tell she meant.
"Try it!"
A few moments of silence followed as I pondered the fact that in our ten years of friendship this was the closest we had ever come to an argument.
"I am sorry" I conceded. "It just really hurts to hear that you have been doing something like this for almost a year and this is the first that I am hearing of it."
"Well I wasn't sure how you would take it, I mentioned it to Doug and he nearly flew off the handle."
Mo's husband Doug was perhaps one of the mellowest people I have ever met, so I could see where she might be concerned about telling anyone else.
"I am not Doug, and could you really see me giving you a hard time about it?"
"That's why I am telling you."
"Yeah, nearly a year late."
Against my will a smile came across my face. I told Mo she was buying lunch and that was the end of my angst. I could not sit across the table from her and seriously be angry with her for more than a moment. Although she is a good ten years older then me, her smooth round face makes her appear that we are nearly the same age. Looking into those green eyes on her cherubic face, I could not possibly stay angry.
"You're the stingiest boss I have ever had." She replied with a chuckle and we were back on solid ground.
"So does Doug know you still wrestle?" of all the questions I had I don't know why I asked this first.
"No way!" she replied, "He was totally pissed when I told him I tried once. He totally shocked me."