Sometimes I forget how lucky I am that you love me back. Do you know how long I wanted you before I got to have you?
I was nineteen. There was a night we went bowling. You were wearing black dickies and a gray top that was cut in a deep V. And you were just so beautiful. I remember thinking that you had just the most perfect proportions. I wanted to touch you where your waist flared out just barely to your hips. And I wanted to watch you move all night.
And then I think I fell in love with the way you smelled. I remember one day when we were living at Courtney's, but before we started dating. You were sitting in my room for a while. When you left, the side of my bed where you had been smelled like you. You got up and left to go watch TV or take a shower or something. I masturbated, burying my face in the pillow that smelled like you. And I left the door open, half hoping you would come back in and join me, but too scared to ask because it wasn't allowed yet. So sometimes, even now, I forget that you're mine and that it's ok to do those things.
My favorite part of having sex with you are the moaning sounds you make right before you come. You never make them any other time, so it's how I know you're about to lose control. I love watching you just come undone for me.