Monday morning comes swiftly - and very early - for Peter and I. The sun is coming up and we have a very skittish model hanging out a window. She's supposed to look like she's basking in the sunrise, but she looks more like someone who is afraid of falling 16 stories to her demise.
I get as many frames as I can before she starts to cry and we bring her in. Peter walks over and yanks on the harness that was supporting her, "You weren't going anywhere, love. Go have a cigarette and calm yourself,"
He looks at me and growls, "What?"
"That was a little harsh," I put a hand on my hip.
"Yeah, well piss it. I'm not a morning person," he snaps at me.
I glance at my phone. Maggie sent me a picture of the view of the sunrise from our room and the empty spot next to her in bed. My heart aches a little.
"We've got 15 minutes before our next shoot, fancy a coffee?"
I nod emphatically.
Peter snaps his fingers at a bystander who nearly jumps out of his skin. "Did you have a good time on Saturday then?" He says, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he clicks a mouse and gazes at a monitor.
"Yes, thank you," I can feel my face turning bright red.
"We do that once a year. It's incredibly narcissistic, but we don't give a shit. It's basically like, we shut down the museum, put up photos we've shot, and invite only those who are somebodies,"
"I'm a somebody?" I laugh.
He looks at me, his face stoic, "Very much so, Audrey. I quite like you very much,"
This time I can feel all of the color draining from my face. "In a strictly professional way, I mean,"
The sweaty, jumpy man from before hands me a giant cup of coffee and I take a sip, burning the shit out of my mouth, "Fuck!" The coffee slips from my hand and spills everywhere. Including my bare legs.
Peter runs to another room and returns with cold, wet paper towels. He sits me in a chair and applies the coolness to my legs. In the midst of the searing pain shooting through my shins, I notice Peter staring at my knees. He takes in my legs while he gently dabs at the burns. He lifts the towels and gently blows on my skin. I can feel goosebumps all over my body. He looks up at me and we lock eyes.
Sweaty, jumpy coffee man returns with a first aid kit and administers burn ointment. Peter stands out of the way and walks into his office, slamming the door. I don't know what his deal is.
We work through the day. All the way through. It's close to midnight when I leave. The rest of the week is much the same. Maggie has cooked for me when I arrive home on Thursday night. It would've been delicious had I eaten it 4 hours ago when she made it.
I turn on the shower and disrobe. Maggie appears behind me with sleepy eyes, "I thought you said you might be home early tonight,"
"That was very optimistic of me,"
"Hm, so why are you so late?" She's very serious. I rarely see her this way. Her lips are bright red, no lipstick necessary. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and her hair is sort of all over the place. I can see her slender waist through her nightgown.
"Come in the shower with me," I smile.
She doesn't budge, "I'd like to know why you're so late,"
"I don't know what to tell you. I was working,"
"Was Peter there with you the whole time?"
"What? Of course he was. Maggie, don't be like that," I step into the shower.
She stays at the door, "We both know that you still like men, Audrey. That's threatening to me,"
"That's absurd," I put my face under the cool water and let it run into my mouth.
"I get it, okay? You're not gay, but you're not straight. So you're bi. But you have to understand that I am gay. Openly. My family loves me just the same. And the friends who couldn't handle that fact are gone. And I'm better off for it,"
I say nothing because I don't know what to say. What she's said makes sense and it scares me.
"You called your mom weeks ago and it didn't go over so well. Have you called her back? And what about your stepdad?" She sighs. "Look, it's hard and it can be scary, but sooner or later you need to pick a side. I won't stick around if I have to worry all the time that you'll relapse and find a dick, ya know?"
She walks away before I can answer.
__________________________
My mother's voicemail picks up on my third attempt to call in the last week. Peter sits down across from me, "What's the matter?" He extends his pack of cigarettes and I take one.
I take a long drag, "Nothing," I shake my head.
"Come on. You're usually so sunny. What's happened?"