Author's note: This is a slow burn lesbian romance series. Please be patient, because some of the chapters are less erotic than others.
Chapter 12
Post-nut clarity...
I'm not even sure if women experience that. I can only speak for myself, and to my knowledge, that wasn't something I related to.
For one, I hardly had any orgasms at all when I was with my husband. And even if I did, it was because I wanted to relieve myself, so I never had any regrets about accomplishing what I set out to do.
Then, there was Juri, who overwhelmed me with orgasms every night during our short time together. And I could tell you with extreme confidence that each climax I received from her only made me want more.
So up until this point, post-nut clarity didn't make any sense to me. I never came to any huge realization where I suddenly regretted my actions.
That was until... Alana...
It's a bit different, facing the woman you masturbated to without her consent only hours later. Yet, here we were again, sitting together at my desk, like nothing had happened at all in the privacy of my bedroom.
I still blamed her for making me talk about my sexual experiences with Juri. And then leaving my computer with that same video as I jumped into bed didn't help either.
That porno had already made me masturbate to her once, while picturing the two girls on screen as her and Juri. I was an idiot for not closing it out and erasing my sins from the monitor right after I was done the first time.
It wasn't that I was even interested in Alana either. She was definitely a nice girl with plenty of admirable qualities. However, I guess after some of the experiences I had with Juri, I was suffering from a vaunted disease. A disease called...
...Yellow Fever
As we sat there at my desk, working on our separate assignments, just as we did the other day when I was also facing the humiliation of masturbating to her, I started to worry about the disaster that could happen if she were to discover my regretful actions. Not only did I rub one out to her, unbeknownst to her, but I had also talked openly about my tragic mistake when I met Juri. And to make matters worse, she now had knowledge, based on a conversation we had in the workplace, of the humiliating way I begged Juri to spank me.
I already knew that I could never admit I had touched myself while pretending she was in the porno I was watching. The embarrassment alone would absolutely shatter me. However, staring at her as she diligently worked on her assignment, like there was nothing wrong in the world, I realized that she already had enough incriminating evidence to get me fired, or even send me to jail!
From this point on, I can't let her know anything else,
I thought, motivating myself to keep my mouth shut around her.
I've embarrassed myself enough. No more talking about sex!
While I was still going over my game plan, Alana spoke up, startling me as she interrupted my thoughts.
"Karina... may I please ask you something?"
"What is it?" I asked, trying to regain my composure. "Do you need help with something?"
"Um... not really," she started, growing slightly red again. Then, while I was already struggling to keep myself together, after all my poor decisions, she almost nonchalantly continued, "I have another question about you having sex with Juri..."
"What?!" I reacted, sexually frustrated that I was going to be put through this again. "Why?! What else could you possibly want to know?!"
"I just.. I need more details! I told you I would need as much information as possible to help you get back with her! I just need a little more! Please!"
Although I was a bit suspicious about the desperation she displayed in her voice, she had already used her untouchable move on me, of needing this information to get Juri back. I didn't want to admit any more than I already did, but my fate with Juri was in her hands, and I couldn't risk losing my one chance.
"What do you want to know now?"
"Just... a few more details... about when you were together..."
"Like... what details?"
Suddenly, that confidence she had built up to demand more incriminating details vanished, and she was left red again, struggling to find the words. "You know... like... stuff about... when you two were intimate..."
"Yeah, I know you're talking about sex," I reacted, shaking my head at her. "But what exact details are you looking for?"
Finally, my words had gotten through to her, and she was able to clarify a bit more of what she was seeking. "I was just... surprised... when you told me that you gave her a lot of orgasms..."
"Yeah... So...?"
"This whole time... I kind of just assumed she was the only one doing favors for the other..."
"And just why did you think that?" I asked, looking at her suspiciously.
"Well... you came off pretty selfish in your relationship with her," Alana started, hardly able to look at me. "That's why I was surprised when... you said... you would make her... squirt... and stuff..."
Immediately, I grew uncomfortable, and I could hardly maintain my composure as
that
word reached my ears. Perhaps I had acted a little recklessly the day before when I was sharing my memories of Juri. However, now that I was having my own words shoved back into my face, I was having a difficult time explaining myself to the young woman... the same young woman I had already masturbated to...
"Yeah... I did stuff for her too... So what?" I replied, trying not to slip into further details like I accidentally did the day before.
"Will you tell me... how you usually gave her orgasms... once she moved in with you?" Alana pushed, before putting on a brave face again. "These details are important if I'm going to get Juri back for you!"
"Um... sometimes, I would just rub her until she was finished," I answered, speaking as professionally as I could on the inappropriate topic. Then, growing a bit red myself, I further explained, "And I also... performed... oral... on her... if you really must know."
"Oral?!" Alana reacted, almost covering her mouth from shock. "You... performed... oral... on Juri?"
"Is that so weird?" I asked, defending myself now. "People do that, you know? They just don't talk about it because they aren't forced to, like I am!"
"I'm sorry, but that was very pertinent information!" she reacted before calming herself down. Then, in a quieter tone, she asked, "So... did you like it...?"
"Are you seriously asking me if I enjoyed eating her out?!"
Her face grew red, and she could hardly look anywhere near my direction. "Yeah...?"
I could feel my own cheeks warming up as I contemplated an answer to that embarrassing question. "Of course I liked it... Why would I do it if I didn't like it?"
"Uh... some people do things, even though they don't like it, just to please their partner..."
Alana had a point, but that wasn't the case in my situation. Thinking back, I remembered how often I had sex with my husband, despite not really wanting to. Then, as I reflected on my time with Juri, I started to appreciate how much we genuinely enjoyed taking care of each other, without expecting anything in return.
"I liked eating her out... because she deserved it..." I admitted, causing Alana's eyes to light up. "Not just because she did it for me; but because I just enjoyed making her feel good..."
A precious smile came over her face, like my answer had satisfied her. "That's so wonderful," she said, clasping her hands together.
Then, for some reason, after continuing to reminisce on the time I spent between Juri's legs, I embarrassingly made an even worse admission. Also... she tasted pretty good..."
Immediately, the intern's head shot back as we both became flustered with emotions from my shocking revelation. "You said what?!"
"Um... she tasted good..." I admitted once again, realizing the hole I had dug myself into. "She had... like... uh... a sweet taste to her... It was actually kind of addicting..."
While Alana was struggling to find the words to respond with, I couldn't help but notice her legs squirming together. It was definitely inappropriate of me, but seeing her, after masturbating to the porn star I imagined her as, and also having the taste of Juri on my mind, I couldn't help but wonder If Alana had that same taste.
With an extreme lack of judgment, I foolishly asked, "Is that normal?"
"Is... what normal?" she asked, now trembling.
"That sweet taste... Was that just Juri... or do all Asian girls taste like that?"
Her eyes grew big. "How am I supposed to know that?!"
I stared at her for a moment. "Well... you're Asian..."
While her head shot back again, and she made a face like she was completely appalled by my statement, embarrassment came over me as I realized that I practically asked how her pussy tasted. Trying to save myself, I waved my hands at her, and begged, "Please don't take that the wrong way! I didn't mean for it to come off like that!"
Not knowing what to say, the young woman turned her body in her chair, completely facing the opposite direction. She then started kicking her feet on the ground, like she was a little girl having a temper tantrum.
"Can we just pretend we never had this conversation?" I asked, hiding my face in my arms as I dropped my head to the desk.
"I think that's best..." she answered in a low voice, still hiding her face with her hands. Then, as if things couldn't get any more humiliating, she eventually added, "I wasn't expecting you to ask me that... but I'm glad you think she tasted good..."
There was no response I could come up with that was appropriate after what I had just done. Sparing her from any further embarrassing statements, I slapped myself on the forehead, as I thought to myself,