Author's note: Many thanks to Fewella, Luxx, Onyx03 and TheMasterBaiter for their help in brainstorming and editing.
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I met Allison during my gap year, right after my A-Levels exams. During that time, I found myself going to this private library that had a cafe-bar available to its members only. Not only was the coffee that they had delicious, they also held different activities. I only attended one religiously; the book club. Most of the book club members were little old ladies. Being eighteen, I was by far the youngest one amongst them. Despite knowing that I was not welcome there because of the looks the middle-aged women always gave me, I still went and participated.
I noticed Allison on the first day I went to the cafe. It was hard not to look at her. She was the perfect eye candy. She looked so masculine and yet so fragile. She was fit, with a sleeve tattoo and another one on the neck. It was a small skull that I knew I wanted to kiss the first time I saw it. She always wore those ripped skinny jeans with loose tees. Her arms were toned but looked so soft. I kept thinking about how her whole body must be like that too. Whenever she would get close to me, I would silently breathe in her perfume; it was so delicate, and yet not feminine at all. It smelled like citrus mixed with the woods.
At first, the only time I spoke with her was when I ordered my usual coffee and croissant. However, after a couple of weeks, it seemed that she had started to remember my order. As soon as she would see me entering the cafe, she would nod to me and as soon as I nodded back, she would start the coffee machine and grab a plate.
I never tried for her. I didn't expect she would be interested so I didn't let my attraction get out of control. For me, she was just a hot waitress that made it hard for me to concentrate on whatever the old ladies were saying.
Everything changed the day the topic book was Les Justes by Albert Camus. I was sitting at a table alone and drinking my coffee while listening to an old lady commenting on the play. It would be a lie to say that I was not throwing glances at Allison once in while. She was leaning against the bar table and listening as well. The thing with being the youngest in that club was that everybody thought that my analysis lacked depth or that I was just trying to be different. In reality, it was their analysis that lacked depth; they tended to take everything literally. What they said that day was what made me never go back to the club.
"Well I think Camus is just defending terrorists by giving them feelings," A lady spat out before she sipped her tea.
I stopped chewing, not quite believing what she had just said. My croissant stayed in between my fingers while I was trying to process her thoughts. I wanted to say something but when I saw everyone nodding with her, I could not. I knew that they would report me and I would be banned from coming again.
But Allison did not give a single fuck.
"That's it." she burst in "I'm fucking done listening to you. How can you say that? You claim to know about the book and yet you don't even realise that this story is based on real events! Camus tried to give them feelings to make us think about their heroic actions!"
Everybody gasped, including me. I chugged my coffee and swallowed my croissant in one go. I could sense the tense atmosphere and how everybody was fuming. I mean, I could imagine them thinking about how some waitress dared to cuss and give her opinion.
The lady chuckled, probably thinking that she was the smart one, "Oh, I did not know the waitress was in the club as well. How about you bring me some more tea? Besides no one agrees with your pathetic view."
Everybody looked around, waiting for someone to speak up. No one did and I saw Allison reddening with either anger or embarrassment. I don't know what compelled me to rise from my seat and clear my throat, making everybody look at me, including Allison.
"Well, I agree with her," I said, without stuttering.
For a small moment, I felt good and happy until the lady hit me with "Oh really? Please do explain."
This time, it was my turn to blush. I felt embarrassed, wanting to disappear from the room. Instinctively, my hand flew behind my neck as I let out a couple of "Uh"s. I looked at the lady and saw her smirking and then at Allison who was watching me with a genuine, bright smile. It probably acted as a boost because I gathered my courage and gave one of my best interpretations of that play. Everybody stayed quiet while I was talking and I knew they were as shocked as I was. Without me asking, Allison brought me another coffee.
After the session, everybody walked out while giving me dirty looks. I kept thinking how they were probably going to report me and how I would have to explain to my parents why the expensive membership that they had paid for would be wasted because they would not allow me to go to the library anymore.
I quickly grabbed my stuff and put it in my handbag. I walked to the bar to pay. While I was walking, Allison kept looking at me and smiling. I felt all warm and I guess I was glowing with a sense of pride, knowing that I had won her attention. When I got to the register, I took out my credit card and gave it to her. She wouldn't take it. Instead she smiled again, tilted her head to the left side and bit her lip. I did not really know how to react. It was not that I didn't know that I appreciated girls but I had done nothing apart from the occasional boob grab and kissing practice between friends in high school.
"Thanks for earlier. I'm probably going to lose my job but thanks. Your analysis was perfect. It's my treat because you helped me."
Like a dumb teenager, I stared at her while nodding slowly and unable to say anything.
"I think someone's calling you," she pointed to my phone that was in my hand. I awkwardly jerked my hand and my head and let out a weird laugh that I instantly regretted. I smiled at her and walked away and answered the call. It was my driver, who came to pick me up after the meeting. For the first time ever, I did not speak at all during the drive back home.
And for the first time ever, I could not properly label my emotions, I could not quite figure out what I was feeling.
Despite not knowing why,, I felt compelled to go back there the next day. I felt relieved to see that she had not lost her job. The cafe was empty; a late morning slow period. I chose a table close to the bar and I felt all happy, knowing that I was close to her. Around noon, she came and sat in front of me and said, "Hi, my name is Allison."
And that was the start of several wonderful and very romantic dates. We quickly grew close. She nicknamed me Kitten because of my sharp canines and she became my Ally. Together we were "Alley Cat"
One day, it was almost 4 in the afternoon and she was off work. We had gone jogging together but had to rush back to her apartment when it started raining. We were drenched. We took a quick shower. I was waiting for her in her bed, wearing her Abbey Dawn t-shirt. I looked around and concluded that at 24, she had her life figured out. She came back to her room with a black coffee for me and warm water for her. She gave me the warm mug and I welcomed her into the fuzzy covers. It was quite incredible to think how comfortable we had become with each other. She got close to me, our skin touching. She wrapped one arm around me and I leaned into her, breathing her scent in. Occasionally, droplets of water from her wet hair would fall on my shoulders.
She kissed my shoulder lazily, "You should stop with the coffee, you know?"
"I will, Ally," I made another empty promise and took another sip, enjoying the bitterness on my tongue. I enjoyed the warmth she had brought me with the coffee and her body but I didn't quite know what to say. She was wearing nothing but her bra and panties, both white. She looked so sexy. Suddenly, I realized I needed to tell her.
"You look so sexy like that" I gushed.
"You look sexier in my t-shirt" she replied.
I hadn't realised that I had zoned out and was thinking about the nature of our relationship until I felt her foot stroke my leg.
It felt good but when she switched to her hand and brought it down to my inner thigh, I instinctively closed my legs because of how sensitive I am there. I opened them back though, wanting to melt into her touch. Soon enough, her hand went under my t-shirt and she toyed with my nipples, making them hard.
"I love you, Kitten."
Before I could say anything in return, she silenced me with a deep kiss. Maybe she knew that I did not know if I loved her or not. Maybe she knew that despite having planned my future meticulously at 18 years old, I still could not differentiate between love and admiration. Or between love and lust.
She grabbed both mugs and put them on the floor, then moved in front me of me, pulled off the covers, and sat on top of my legs. My body was already tingling all over because I knew what was about to happen. It was when she lifted up the baggy t-shirt with one hand and moved her finger around my cunt with the other that I knew; I was already wet. I was left completely exposed and vulnerable beneath her and I was loving every moment of it. This time, she used both of her hands on my body. One of them playing with my breasts and the other one rubbing my body all over. I could tell that she loved my smooth skin.
