"It has been decided that I shall go to Somerset. I feel myself being torn apart but we must be strong. I shall write whenever I can and, I pray you, write to the usual place and it will reach me eventually. Hitherto our clandestine activities have excited me. Now they feel like a further barrier to our love."
Being single was getting on my tits. Sure, I could do anything I wanted, whenever I wanted as long as it didn't involve physical contact with another woman. And since that was the one thing I missed more than anything else, well, I was pissed off.
My good friend, Lauren and I were sharing a bottle of Prosecco in my nicely secluded, little garden. It was a warm summer day and the drowsy buzz of insects in my unkempt borders, combined with the alcohol had a slightly soporific effect. So it was that my attention was drifting until Lauren said, "Oh, I meant to tell you, Polly Cameron has moved out of London and back here. She's bought a place down near the canal."
"Is she still with dreary Deirdre?" Dreary Deidre was the soubriquet universally applied to Polly's partner. Unkind it might have been but accurate it definitely was.
"Well, that's the thing. Apparently there was a huge bust up a while ago because DD got seriously drunk one night while Polly was out and, when Polly got home, she, DD, accused her of being over the side with some woman or other. Polly put it down to the drink but, in the morning and sober, DD started again and kept on about it for days. They'd only moved up to London because of Dreary's work, Polly can work from anywhere," she was a musical technician so as long as she had a workshop, she was fine. "So, word is, she has returned to the city of the steaming, malodorous baths and is signally single and delighted to be free of Dreary."
Lauren, married and straight and probably my best friend, looked at me. I knew that look. I also knew her well enough to know she hadn't suddenly remembered this little snippet. She knew how to manage a conversation, how to spark my interest and how to feed my imagination. She knew, too, that I'd fancied Polly for years. Polly was butch without being a woman in drag. She could look butch in a dress, although, if memory served, she rarely wore one. She was tall, athletic, intimidatingly clever and just my 'type.' I often had wondered if she knew I existed but, then, once, she had walked past me at a party and her hand had rested momentarily on my shoulder. She whispered in my ear, 'You look fucking edible in that dress," and moved on before I could even say, 'what, this old thing?' Bitch.
"Anyway, I thought I might invite her to my birthday party. What do you think?"
"That would be a good chance for her to get back with the group."
"Exactly what I thought."
"Don't try match-making, Lauren. She barely noticed me and is probably riven with angst and self-loathing."
Lauren laughed. "I don't imagine Polly can do angst or self-loathing. She's the most self- aware person I've met."
"Apart from me, obviously."
"Obviously. Well, be nice. All you have to do is be polite."
The Saturday of Lauren's birthday party. Polly hadn't changed a bit. A white shirt, dark blue trousers, black shoes, she looked smart and fresh. Her short cap of black hair set off her grey/blue eyes perfectly. Her sharp chin and nose couldn't detract from her handsome features. Somehow, I had worn the same dress that she had liked. Pure coincidence of course. The dress was a mix of blues, tight at the waist and flared to just above my knees. The bodice sort of cupped my little tits and the colours worked well with my now long, chestnut hair. I'd arrived late at Lauren's party. It was a beautiful evening and everyone was out in her long garden, a huge trestle table groaning under the weight of food and drink. I placed my contributions of gin, Champagne and red wine and chicken liver pate on the table, fearing momentarily it might give way under the additional weight. I poured myself a glass of bubbles and before I could take my first sip, Lauren appeared and hugged me.
"Happy birthday." I gave her a small gift; a bracelet I'd found in one of the little jewellery shop in the covered market.
"Thank you. Isn't it a beautiful evening?" She was clearly outside a good few drinks and was intending to have a great night. Her current target, Roddy Welby, a Professor at the local University, was holding court to one side of the garden and she pointed at him with her glass. "Roddy has no idea that he's going to lose his virginity, yet."
"From what I understand, he left that behind a long, long time ago."
"He may think so, but wait until Lauren get's hold of him."
Pour sod, I thought. He'll be exhausted for a week. I circulated a bit, saw Polly across the garden talking to a small group of our mutual friends and decided not to join them. Instead I spoke to a couple of the members of my drama group, always a guarantee of a good laugh.
Camp David, our juvenile lead, was in fine form. "I told him, just because you're 6' 3" and built like Adonis doesn't mean I'm going to fall into bed with you. I shall leap into it, as an hart!" He said this with his voice rising and a flamboyant sweep of his arm, distributing white wine everywhere. "He's a total bull. I adore him."
I asked, "Is he here tonight?"
"Poor love's got to work. He's a fireman. I told him, he had the best hose in the Fire Service."
"Just a tad too much information, Roddy."
"Sorry, darling, I know that isn't part of your world but, well, goodness, it's so gorgeous it might just turn you."
I felt a hand on my shoulder and half turned. It was Polly. "Did you wear that dress because you knew I was coming tonight?"
I kissed her cheek. "Welcome back. Lauren, the unofficial town crier, told me you were. Sorry things didn't work out with Deirdre." I just managed to stop myself calling her Dreary.
"Everyone said I was a prat to move in with her. Turns out they were right. Such is life. It's good to be back. Life treating you well, Cass?"
"Couldn't be better, thanks."
We were facing each other now and I had to look up at her. "Well, did you?" she asked.
"Did I what?"
"Wear that dress for me?"
"Now why on Earth would I do that?"