You know how people talk about which wine to serve with what food - like having a white wine to go with light pasta, chicken, turkey and seafood dishes, red wine to go with beef, red-sauce pasta and the like. What about Rosè? So I put the question to some male friends of mine, who quite frankly thought I was nuts, but agreed to play along and chose Beer as their refreshment of choice - if they had to choose. Clearly, not in the spirit of the game, I rephrased the question. What is/are the best wines to go with the flavors of a woman's pussy? To these experienced, but unrefined ruffians, it was a dumb question and begged no answer whatsoever. What I received was laughter. I wondered if I should ask a few lesbians, since the men seemed uncooperative, but decided against that idea since I believed they would think my survey was not exactly serious or scientific. Sure, it was neither, yet I still wanted to know.
I continued, "Guys, what if I found a willing hostess who would allow you the honor of licking her pussy for one minute each after tasting each of sample white wines, the Rosé and the red wine, then you mark on your scorecards as to which wine brought out the natural flavors of pussy to your tastes. Who knows? Maybe we can do a reverse experiment and find some women to taste test our cocks with different wines to see how results compare. And because we're greedy, we'll allow them two minutes each to taste our cocks after tasting the various wines. Anybody up for that? It took several minutes for the laughter and raucous comments to quell.
I decided that if we're going to do this, I'd better lay out some ground rules for the experiment:
One: Pouring the wine onto or into the pussy and licking it all off is not allowed as that could lead to potential yeast infections. We want to be able to say that no one was harmed in these experiments. Besides, we all have had experiences with drunken pussy that ended badly. Let's not have any of that.
Two: Probing the neck of the wine bottles into the pussy should never enter anyone's mind. This is a very dangerous practice and will not be part of this experiment. Save that sort of thing for your tools much more adapted and designed for that purpose.
Three: No extra probing with the fingers during your taste testing. I'm sure they might ask you to do it for them, but again, not part of the experiment.
Four: This is a taste test for pussy only, not for regions of her body located lower - you know what I mean. Rim jobs would have a different flavor and would spoil the scientific results of pussy tasting.
Five: One last thing - this is a blind test, which means that you will be behind a curtain, and no one will be monitoring your actions. Gentlemen, you will at all times, keep your cock in your pants. This offense will not be tolerated and is not authorized. This isn't a free-for-all. You will be totally on your honor to perform the experiments, and you will be timed while inside the sampling booth.
The procedural set-up will be as follows: Our female volunteers will be nude from the waist and open for you as she lies, blindfolded on the bed. At this point, we're not decided if she should be bound at the wrists for safety. The only safety concern is that her legs may close about your heads while you perform your taste tests. Three glasses will be provided and will contain a sample of white, rosé and red wines along with a bottle of filtered water to cleanse the palate after each tasting.
After each tasting, you will record your findings on the multiple-choice questionnaire on the clipboard with the pencil provided. Do not write your name on the forms. We are interested only in your pussy flavor findings. You are allowed five-minutes to complete your test. That time will include one minute for each of three tasting's - sample the wine, then taste the pussy. A bell will sound in one-minute intervals. The remaining two minutes are to be used in cleansing your mouth with plain water between tasting's and in recording your results on the form. At the sound of the final bell, your time will be over, so please exit the sampling booth promptly. Your forms will be collected by our staff.
There was one more thing that was added by the Sex Institute as part of the joint financial grant between themselves and the Napa Valley wine grower sponsors. At least one woman should be included in the taste testing so as not to show gender bias. It was a pretty healthy grant to finance this barroom idea project, but one of the guys knew a weird biology professor who would supervise the project and wrote the formalized papers and financial grant proposals. Everybody laughed when the research grant acceptance letters and checks came in. The game was on.
Finally, all the arrangements were made. There were three males and three females who agreed to the taste testing as well as six females who agreed to be tasted. They were to be freshly bathed with no commercial perfumes or scents - only those that nature provided. These would be taken in shifts. The three men would perform the experiment on the first day and three women would perform the experiment the next day. They would also not be allowed to be wearing perfumes or scents. The subject women would have no idea as to whether they were being tasted by men or women and the same rules applied.
Taste Test - Day One:
