"I'm sorry. I obviously mis-heard you," Kris tried to clarify, looking from Diane back to the counsellor. With a confused look, she started to shake her head. "We've all agreed here today that Diane and I are close to being back on track again as a reasonably healthy relationship, and that this should be our last session together. But you're recommending now that we go on as a couple to have some hypnotherapy?"
Diane watched the woman lean forward to her strikingly beautiful partner. The impatient side of her musician lover was all over her face and her arms were tightly folded. "It's not compulsory," the woman repeated, leaning towards Kris. "It's just I seem to recall something you both said we should set out to fix if we could. And we have barely scratched the surface of it, that's all."
"Our sex life," Diane guessed aloud. The woman nodded and continued. "You both mentioned missing that zing, zest, the surge of lust, that it was nowhere like the way it was at the beginning."
"Isn't it just a problem because we have got used to each other over the past four years? If so, how can hypnosis possibly help?" a disbelieving Kris came back again.
"This hypnotherapist claims to specialise in that side of lesbian relationships," the counsellor explained. "Every couple I've sent there has raved about the improvement in their sex life, that one area you both admitted needed an improvement. The most suitable candidates for it are couples where one person's life seems too busy, or very career-minded, or has a huge scarcity of quality time."
"Well, we have a 3 out of 3 match there between the pair of us," Diane chimed in wryly.
Two days later, she almost literally dragged a reluctant Kris into the waiting room. But even her own spirit drooped when the small bespectacled man in his shabby white coat came out. He had a droopy beagle look about him.
"Come in,come in," his shrill voice squeaked. As he picked up a file, Diane saw Kris' eyes roll as they followed him. As they took the offered chairs, he clumsily tried to sit down and read at the same time.
He pored for what seemed like ages over the notes from their counsellor, a shrill "aha" or "hmm" the only occasional noise. The two young women shuffled about as they watched him finish. Kris' patience snapped when he returned to an earlier page and began to read it again.
"How long will it be before we notice a difference?" she impolitely interrupted. Diane suppressed a giggle, knowing that her cynical girlfriend probably really wanted to ask what year they might in fact be finishing this appointment.
He looked over his huge black rims at her, then down at the front of the page. "By 1.30 this afternoon if you both have the afternoon off," came the firm, high-pitched reply.
They both looked at their watches. It was 12.30 now, and he must have noticed from their address they lived 20 minutes away.
"And by when would our sex life makesa full recovery," the skeptical Kris again chimed in.
"Oh, 1.45," was all he said, then bounced off his chair to his feet and handed each stunned girl a Post-It note pad and a pencil. "Just jot down the best erogenous zone sensation you have ever felt in your life, both of you, thanks," he trilled as he hastened a chair to Diane's side. "Be brief and 100% honest? I've seen them all by now," he added, as they hesitatingly began writing.
"Good," he enthused reading when the first pad was handed back from Kris. "Very good," he reinforced scanning the second. "We're nearly done."
Both stunned girls briefly looked at each other and then at him.
"You first," he indicated to Diane. He then waved his wrist at Kris. "As for you, turn your chair to face your friend's while I put her under. You'll be fully awake while your friend is being hypnotised, and vice versa, so there's no chance for any hanky-panky on my part."
