At 40 Ana Ferguson represented the ideal wife, mother, and homemaker. A graduate of Chesterfield University with a degree in psychology provided her a small counseling practice. Families with children suffering from emotional problems relied on her for help. She provided specialized help for children suffering cyber-bulling.
Ana's two sons, ages 11 and 14, kept her busy with after school activities. Her 14-year, son, Jason, played on a primer youth hockey team which involved a number of weekend road trips. Her husband, Eric, accompanied him on these trips. Eric also traveled for his work as his company's Vice President of Marketing. In recent years his busy schedule led to a strain in the relationship. Evidence of an affair involving her husband and woman in Atlanta provided confirmation of the worsening relationship. There seemed to be "No happily ever after" in Ana's life. This led to increasing frustration and hostility towards her family. This further strained their relationships.
Barbara, the 50 something woman living next door had always been ready to have a cup of coffee and talk with Ana. Attractive at 5ft 9in with hazel eyes, blonde hair, and a good figure, Barbara owned a small graphics company that provided free-lance artwork for commercials and advertising. Her ability to make people comfortable proved to be her most affective asset.
Over the past several years she had chatted with Ana at neighborhood get togethers. At the Labor Day get together Ana shared some of her frustrations about life and her relationship with Eric. Barbara listened empathically and offered to be a "sounding board" anytime she needed a friend to just listen. This Saturday morning Ana took her friend up on her offer.
Eric took Jason along with 4 other members of the team to a hockey tournament in Atlanta. They would be gone until late Sunday. Ricky, her 11-year old wanted to spend the weekend with his grandparents who lived on Clearwater Beach. That left Ana alone. To further complicate the day, Eric had left after an argument over his heavy travel schedule. Her frustration level reached an 11 on a scale of 10. She decided to call Barbara.
After two rings Barbara answered her cellphone. "Barbara, this is Ana, do you have time for a cup of coffee? I need to talk with an adult and I am alone."
"Ana, certainly. Do you want me to pop over or would you like to come to my place?"
"I need a change of scenery so if it isn't too much trouble, can I come to your home?"
"Certainly, I will put the coffee on and be waiting for you. Just come over as soon as you are ready."
"I am not very glamorous wearing my yoga pants, t-shirt and sneeks. No makeup just me this morning."
"You are dressed the way you should be on Saturday morning. Come on over as soon as you can."
Five minutes later the 5ft 7in 40-year-old Ana stood at Barbara's back door. She looked lovely and Barbara greeted her with a hug. "Come in. You look like you need coffee and a chance to talk with me."
She replied, "I certainly need both. I appreciate you taking time to visit with me."
Barbara said, "Tell me. What has been going on in your life?"
Ana replied, "I don't want to bore you with my frustration. I just need to talk with someone who will listen. I haven't had that gift for a long time at home."
For the next half-hour Ana shared her frustrations with Eric. His constant travel and suspected affair. The demands of the boys for attention and support of all their activities. Her work and generally not living the life she wants.
"Barbara, in all the madness of my life, I have lost myself. There is never any time for me or my desires. I feel like a hired servant not a woman."
After attentively listening to Ana, Barbara looked at her, "You have lost yourself. That cannot happen if you are to be happy. Your whole body looks tense and stressed."
Getting out of her chair Barbara moved behind Ana and put her hands on the tense shoulders.
"I feel the tension and stress in your shoulders. Do you feel this way all the time?"
"Unfortunately, I do. Time never seems available for me even to take a bubble bath."
"That needs to stop now." Barbara began to massage Ana's shoulders. As if by magic she felt a relaxation of those tense muscles.