THINGS GET KNOTTY
Work was going well for me. I had a couple of quick wins with clients, which boosted both my bank account and my confidence. It was obvious my boss and co-workers were impressed with how serious I was about the job. I was glad to discover I still had some sales chops after so many years as a stay-at-home mom.
But being back to work made me miss being there for my stepdaughter. As Tracie was growing up, it was important to me she never came home to an empty house after school.
That happened a lot to me when I was little. I'd often let myself into wherever my mother had us living at the time and find the place dead silent. It was scary. I wouldn't know where my mom was, or if she was okay, or if I would be okay. I learned over the years my mother was usually out drunk somewhere.
I swore when I married Tracie's father that his little girl would not suffer the loneliness and fear I had felt. Tracie would have a loving parent waiting at home for her every day. But, it wouldn't be her father, since he was obsessed with his work and was never around. That's why I quit my career when I married him. Being there for Tracie was a way to show my new stepdaughter that I cared about her. It was also a way to show myself that I was a better mother than my own mom was.
Tracie was a freshman in high school before I stopped being at home for her every day. That was when the divorce happened, and I had to start working full-time. I knew my girl was older, and she was smart and tough, but I'd check in with her every afternoon and let her know when to expect me. I never felt comfortable having her home alone.
In fact, I didn't feel comfortable about much of anything in those couple years after my marriage fell apart. Eventually, my drinking got so bad I lost my job and was back at home, but I was no good to Tracie. Thanks to her, now I was sober again and back at work. But a disadvantage of a clear head is that worries come back. I remembered the reasons I didn't like her being home alone. I trusted Tracie, but I didn't trust other people. A beautiful girl in a house by herself is vulnerable. Then one day, I walked in on a terrifying scene that confirmed my fears.
One pretty June afternoon near the end of Tracie's junior year, I had to pick up some groceries on the way home from the office. I texted her, "I'll be home by 6."
"Hurry up," came my daughter's reply. "And no drinking."
I couldn't blame her. I think she was nervous that since I was working out of the house, I might be more likely to have a drink. I was nervous about it too. Even in my first week on the job, I had to politely decline a couple invitations to go out with co-workers. I knew there would be alcohol, and I was determined to stay sober for my Tracie. I texted back, "No drinking."
I smiled when she responded with a heart emoji. I sent three hearts back immediately and rushed through the grocery store to get back home to my girl.
A little before six o'clock, I arrived with bags of groceries. I called out to the house, "I'm home, baby!"
I started putting things in the fridge when I heard,
"Mumm!"
I walked toward the dining room and was horrified by what I saw: my stepdaughter was naked in a chair, and someone had tied her up! She had something stuffed in her mouth and wet mascara smears down her cheeks.
"My god, Tracie! What happened?!" I looked around for who had done this to her. I hurried to untie her, my heart pounding.
She spit out the gag. "No, Mom, leave it!"
"What? Where is he?" My mind raced: what could I use for a weapon - a chair? A candlestick?
"Mom, calm down. It's okay."
"Okay?? Honey, what's going on?"
"There's no one else here," she said. "Look." She raised one of her arms, showing it was unbound.
My heart was thumping with fight-or-flight speed. I said, "Wait... Did you...?"
Tracie laughed. "I did it myself. Pretty convincing, huh?" She looked down at the rope and electrical cords strapped around her nude body. "And I smeared my makeup to look like I've been crying. I got you pretty good, didn't I?" She seemed delighted.
I said, "So you did this to yourself? For god's sake, Tracie, I was about to have a heart attack!"
She laughed more, enjoying her prank.
I sighed with relief that at least there was no home invader. "Tracie, why did you do this? Just to freak me out?"
She chuckled, "Maybe a little. But also, for you to take pictures."
"For me to-
What?"
"Come on, Mom, you know. For the file?"
It took me a minute to calm down enough to process what was going on. "Wait," I said, catching my breath. "So, this... This is for the blackmail file?"
"Yeah," she said happily. Her smile didn't make sense with her streaked mascara and the cords tightened around her bare body.
I said, "You mean you want this to look like..."
She said casually, "Yeah, like you tied me up and took pictures of me. So, we'll use your phone this time."
I heaved a big sigh and shook my head. "You seriously came home from school and spent your time tying yourself up like a kidnap victim? Don't you have any homework to do or something?"
Tracie giggled. "The school year's almost done, Mom. There's not much homework except studying for finals. I've been waiting for you to get home. Get your phone out."
"Okay, give me a second. Sheesh, my hands are shaking. I'm trying to calm down from thinking there was a serial killer in here."
My daughter laughed again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you that bad. It was pretty funny though. You should have seen yourself."
"Well, you should see you! Naked in the middle of the dining room, all tied up. One of us must be crazy."
"Maybe both of us," she joked. "As long as I look crazy sexy."
I shook my head, looking her over. Was there any situation where my stepdaughter didn't look beautiful? Even her freaky, smeared makeup couldn't take away from her fantastic nude body, tied up as it was.
Tracie smiled to see me looking at her. She said, "Okay, now listen, I need you to take a bunch of pictures of me."
"Can I at least finish putting away the groceries first?"
"No, this will only take a few minutes. I don't want to sit here naked all day."
"You sure? You seem to really like getting naked in front of me lately."
"Oh, and you hate it, do you, Mom?"
I took a deep breath. "Okay, fine, let's take some pictures." I lifted my phone and muttered, "Time to do my blackmail duties, I guess." I started the camera app and framed my nude, bound teenager, bracing myself against the insanity of it all.
"Hold on," she said. She stuffed the cloth gag back into her mouth and put her arm behind her. She really did look like someone - I - had trussed her up. She put on a sad, abused expression.
Just before I took the first picture, I said, "Wait, if this is for your files, why am I using my phone?"
Tracie rolled her eyes and spat the gag onto her lap. "Because, Mom -
Mommy
- you're doing this for your own sick pleasure. And then, when you're not looking, I secretly go on your phone and forward the pictures to myself, as evidence of how you abuse me."
"Oh. Wow, you really have this all thought out, don't you?"
"Yes I do," she said with a proud smile.