"Wholly fuck, that was a shit show," swore my boss Linda as Priya, our accounts specialist, and myself stepped out of the freezing night rain into the strange minimalist lobby of our hotel in Bonn, Germany. "Did they even fucking know that we were coming?"
Linda was a fit but mean, 57-year-old white British woman with slate grey hair, who, rumour has it, made it to the top of the organization we worked for by killing her last two predecessors. Although this rumour was completely untrue, Linda, seemed to delight in the fear it caused with younger staff, and, as far as I knew, never once tried to set the record straight.
"Yes, of course they knew we were coming today," cried Priya as she attempted to wipe the rain off of her face without smearing her mascara any more than it already was. "I scheduled this meeting with Katia over a month ago."
Priya was a plump and short, 30-Year-old woman of south-east Asian descent with almond coloured skin, and long black hair that she wore up while in the office. She also had terrible eyesight and wore a pair of gold rimmed glasses with massive lenses that gave her a certain owlish look that went over quite well with our clients.
"Then where the fuck was Katia?" Linda hissed as she suddenly rounded on poor Priya like she wanted to choke her, or worse.
I quickly stepped between the two of them before anyone could get choked. "Katia went into labor last night, so she asked her boss Rubin to run the meeting. But apparently Rubin's son hurt his leg while playing football literally an hour before we turned up, so he had to take his son to the hospital for an emergency x-ray. Then Rubin asked his boss Gerhardt to take the meeting with us at the last minute."
"Well Gerhardt was a fucking idiot then," Linda cursed as she looked for something to kick in the hotel lobby.
"Gerhardt is the owner's son," Priya squeaked out.
"Fuck! That's even worse!" cried Linda as she attempted to get some of the frozen sleet out of her hair. "Fuck this. I'm taking up smoking again. Do either of you have any cigarettes?"
"I don't smoke," Priya squeaked out.
"Again?" I said as I put my hands on my hips. "You were pissed at me the last time I didn't stop you from restarting."
"Not now Sarah," Linda scolded me before she waved Priya and I off, and then turned back towards the front door of the hotel and the icy rain that was falling outside.
"Let's give it a couple hours for the dust to settle, then I'll reach out to Rubin. Hopefully we can schedule a quick one-on-one with Rubin tomorrow morning before our flight back to London. And maybe it wouldn't hurt to send Katia some chocolates and flowers while she is in the hospital. I'm sure all of this will be fine," I shouted to my boss.
Over her shoulder Linda held up her arm and flipped us off as she stomped towards the door.
"I love you too Linda," I yelled as I pulled Priya into the elevator.
"Will she be okay?" Priya asked.
"She'll be fine," I laughed, "But maybe you should avoid her for the rest of the night if you can."
"I can't believe that happened today," Priya said as she let down her long black hair from her braid and shook it out in an attempt to get it to dry.
"It was a shit show, but I think it was probably worse for them," I said as the elevator door closed, and we began to go up.
"I don't know. I just feel sick to my stomach," Priya said as she crossed her arms over her abdomen.
"It's not your fault," I said as I placed a hand on her wet back as the doors to the elevator opened to the floor we were staying on, "It's in the client's interest for this deal to work out. Besides I'm sure, out there somewhere, Gerhardt is being screamed at by his father for being a fucking idiot."
This made Priya smile a little as we stepped out of the elevator and began the long walk down to our rooms.
"Why are you so calm?" Priya suddenly changed tone and asked.
"What do you mean?"
"What happened to you lately? Remember that trip we took together to Bucharest last year. They only printed off three copies instead of four of the interoffice agreement we were there to sign, and I thought you were going to kill them."
"I'm sure I wasn't that bad," I tried to laugh off.
"You threw my laptop across the conference room and broke a window.
I thought back to last year's work trip we took together, and Priya was right. I used to be a monster, but something recently changed. I did feel a lot better, healthier, and more resilient lately.
"Have you been hitting the sauce?" asked Priya as she mimed drinking. "You know, like the senior partner with the bangs that we all know has a drinking problem."
"Oh god no," I laughed.
"Do you have a big bag of edibles in your room that you aren't sharing?"
"No."
"Micro dosing LSD?"
"No," I said again as we stepped up to the doors to our separate rooms.
"A little E over breakfast?"
"Not that either," I laughed again as I slid my keycard into the door of my room, and it clicked open.
"Come on, please tell me your secret," Priya begged as she batted, her big dark eyes.
I opened the door to my room and then stopped. I quickly looked up and down the empty hotel hallway to see that no one was around. I let out a big sigh and then staired at my younger co-worker for a second. "Come on. I'll show you, but you can't tell anyone."
Without hesitation, Priya followed me into my hotel room. I closed the door behind us and slung my wet work bag and overcoat into a nearby chair. Priya did the same. I then walked over to my suitcase which sat open, on a table next to the window.
Priya followed me over to my suitcase and stood over it while I began to rummage through my clothes until I found what I was looking for hidden in a pair of my husband's white gym socks. I grabbed the socks and then handed it to Priya.
"What is it?" Priya looked up at me with her dark eyes.
"Open it," I said as I took a step back from her.
Priya quickly unrolled my husband's socks and inside one of them was a small hand sized tool with a rubber, mouth like nub on the end.
"It's a...," I paused a second, unsure how much I wanted to share with her, "...It's a Clit Master Stimulator 9000. It's the best clitoral stimulator on the market, as some friends and I discovered a few weeks back."
"Is it a vibrator?" Priya asked as she quickly flipped it over a few times.
"No, not really," I said. "Yes, it vibrates a little, but more importantly it sucks on your...um...clitoris."
"Whoa!" Priya said as she pressed the on button and the Clit Master Stimulator 9000 sprung to life in her hands. "Can you orgasm with it?"
"Yes," I said as I shook my head in vigorous agreement. "The first time I used it I had one of the best orgasms I've ever had in my life in little under a minute."
"Holy fuck," whispered Priya. "What about multiple orgasms? My boyfriend said that they were a myth and its impossible for a woman to come more than once a month."
"It does those too," I said as I started to feel a little stirring in my panties below. "But you got to be careful. Any more than two orgasms in the morning and I find that my whole day is shot. Happy but shot."
"How often do you use it?" Priya asked me.
"Usually at night before bed. And if I know its going to be a stressful day at work, I'll sneak it into the shower with me before work. And of course, more if the family isn't around."
"Did you use it today," Priya asked with a grin.
"Yes," I said suddenly a little embarrassed to out myself. "After we checked in and before we met with the clients. I was starting to feel a little stressed, so I took advantage of having the room to myself."
"I really could use some stress relief right about now," Priya said quietly as she turned the Clit Master Stimulator 9000 off and handed it back to me. "I better get back to my room and see how much of the minibar I will need to drink to make me forget about today."
Priya turned around and, like my kids always do when they are hoping I will give in, began to walk slowly towards the hotel room door.
"Look," I said as Priya made it halfway to the door before I stopped her. "I am 100% sure, the clients will be calling us tonight and inviting us back in tomorrow morning to make up for today's misunderstanding. So, the last thing we can have, is you coming in all hung over tomorrow morning."
"Can I borrow your toy then?" Priya asked as she suddenly spun around with a feral glint in her eye.
I suddenly felt a jolt of jealousy as I looked over at Priya and then at my most precious stimulator.
"First of all," I said a little too shrill which made me sound like my mother, "its not a toy. It's a tool. A dangerous tool. A tool that's capable of destroying your relationship with your boyfriend and all men for that matter."
"Don't care," Priya shot back.
"I'm serious," I tried to warn her.
"All men be damn if I can have multiple orgasms," she grinned.