Seducing Zoe

COMING HOME

After Charlie's aborted seduction attempt, Lisa has driven Zoe's car home whilst Kelly followed in Lisa's car. Zoe is still feeling the effects of the weed and trying to process this flagrant betrayal of trust whilst Lisa has to face up to her own past in this final part.

Author's note: Towards the end of this story I make mention of two women, Ilona and Julie. Their story is in the works as you read this.

Lisa waved goodbye to Kelly as her friend carried a bag of shopping to her car and was rewarded with a clumsy wave as she raised a bag in acknowledgement. Zoe watched her load the bags into the back of her car as she leaned against the railing on the front porch.

"I like her, even though I've only known her for a few minutes."

"She's my friend despite what happened between us," Lisa replied as Kelly opened the front door and slid behind the wheel.

"So, you've forgiven her?"

"Yeah, although there's a long way to go. But I can thank her for taking Rita off my hands even if I was full of resentment and grief."

She raised her hand in farewell as Kelly tooted the horn.

"How is Rita by the way?" Zoe asked as Kelly drove away.

"She's probably about ready for her dinner, assuming she can sit still," she turned and leaned on the railing, "speaking of hospital, do you need me to run to the chemist?"

"I'm tired but I don't know if there's anything a chemist can prescribe for the after effects of dope," she turned to face her.

"You hungry or do you want to head back over the road?"

"Um," she glanced down at her violin case and then looked over the road at her drive, "can I stay here for a bit?"

"Of course you can," Lisa pushed away from the railing, "I'm about to cook dinner anyway and from my limited experience with the dope I used to always get the munchies something chronic, but at least this time you'll get a decent meal instead of shitty fast food," she opened the flywire door and gestured to her.

"Step into my parlour said the spider to the fly."

She winced as Zoe picked up her violin case and bag and stared at the front door.

"Shit, sorry that was probably the wrong thing to say."

"It's all right," Zoe managed a tired smile, "I'm not that fragile."

Lisa followed her inside and closed the door.

"But first things first, I gotta have a piss," she moved to the other door, "make yourself at home, like you always do," and with that she left the room.

Home.

Zoe sat down on the couch and stared across the road at her place, even though the bungalow was hidden behind the house but her car was sitting in the drive. She could have gone to her place and stayed there, safe in her bungalow, out of sight, out of mind with nothing but the backyard, the garage and the back of the house for a view. It was the perfect writer's den. No one knew you were there, she looked around the room, taking in the familiar sights. Lisa's bookshelf filled with dozens and dozens of books, just a mere drop in the ocean compared to her mini library at the end of the passageway.

She focused on the chair in front of the bookshelf. She'd sat in that very chair on Thursday night when Stella was sitting with Lisa. It had started then she mused, the first tentative steps into a new world where women loved women, broke up with them, and manipulated them. She swallowed as she heard the toilet flushing and in her mind's eye she saw Charlie's toilet and remembered staring at herself in the mirror with her blouse unbuttoned and then the memories began to unravel, finding her phone on mute, the call to Lisa and then handcuffing Charlie to the bedhead.

She rubbed her leg through the three-quarter length pleated skirt as she let the memories fill her, despite the unexpected ending, the experience hadn't been entirely unpleasant, in fact it had been a wakeup call that perhaps her growing attraction towards women wasn't such an alien concept after all. She'd never been that far with a guy before, it'd been limited to kissing, usually in a place they couldn't be disturbed. She traced her fingers down the front of her double-breasted white blouse as she remembered the time a guy had squeezed her breast, only to discover that she wasn't that kind of girl after all.

If it had been Lisa it would have been entirely different, she looked down at herself, it would have happened, I would have let it happen.

She closed her eyes momentarily as she heard footfalls coming down the passageway and then Lisa was stepping into the room again and she opened her eyes. Lisa had discarded the grey, denim jacket and was tying the belt on a light green cardigan, although she still wore the white blouse and grey, stone-washed jeans.

"Having a moment?" Lisa took the phone out of her back pocket and perched on the arm of the sofa chair, "it's a funny drug," she put the phone down beside her.

"I was never really into it to be honest, it just used to space me out but one of my old boyfriends used to give it to me to try and stop me drinking so much," she stretched her legs out and put her hands between her legs.

"And to his credit, it did slow me down for a few days until I worked out what he was doing and swore off it," she looked past her, "some people just love the feeling of euphoria but smoking too much will make you paranoid after a few years."

"It feels like ages since I was here."

"It's only been Saturday afternoon," she reminded her, "you sat right there with a plate of food on the coffee table while I dashed to the toilet."

"I'm never smoking that shit again," Zoe frowned and looked at her. She felt a slight weakness in her belly and looked away again.

"I can see why people smoke it though, I was feeling elated. Like nothing mattered but when I saw what she'd done to my phone I felt trapped, like I couldn't breathe. I've only been mildly tipsy once and I rarely drink, I don't like what it does to my head, like you're out of control."

"That's one of the benefits of not drinking," she replied, "I can remember what I did, I used to hate waking up next to a guy and trying to remember if we had sex and then realising that we probably did have sex. I've done the old walk of shame a few times, it's worse for women that way now even with greater equality."

She looked past her for a moment.

"But what you did today was really brave. When I suggested using your feminine charms I thought maybe you'd induce her to have a shower first. I didn't think you'd convince her to be handcuffed to the bed on the promise of a striptease, you obviously paid attention to my story."

Zoe winced and slid a hand over her skirt, "I didn't think she'd fall for it," she looked down at the floor, "what will happen to her?"

"Oh, Linda would've set her free the moment we stepped outside. She'll offer to take her to an AA meeting tonight but knowing Linda, she won't pick her up from the house, she'll arrange to pick her up outside and if she's not there then Linda will just keep driving," she inclined her head.

"It depends on Charlie though. If she picks up a drink and tries to blame you then don't buy into her bullshit. An alkie will blame everyone and everything for their drinking," she shifted sideways on the arm and propped her elbow on top of the chair.

"I had a million excuses for drinking. It was too hot, too cold, I was feeling depressed, happy or bored. I was getting over a guy or flirting with a new guy, I blamed the state of the country, my shit childhood, my mother, my father and the way some neighbour looked at me. All were excuses but I never had one good reason to pick up a drink if I'm honest, I knew that whenever I drank then bad shit happened, more often than not."

"She lied to me," Zoe shifted in her seat, "and I know I'm stoned but I meant what I said in her bedroom. I would have gone all the way with her if she hadn't fucked with my phone, it was my fault for leaving it unlocked. She saw that last message from you and put it on mute," she looked down. "It's just fucked."

"I'm sorry, I really was looking forward to this concert but then that shit with Rita happened," she straightened up.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about, you did everything right, you went on that twelve step call even though it was your ex girlfriend. If anyone's to blame it's me."

"In what way?" Lisa put her hands between her legs again.

"It started on the way into the city," she pulled a packet of tissues from her handbag..

"I kind of told her why you couldn't make it and then I let it slip that Rita was your ex and how that must be a big thing for you," she pulled a tissue out and took off her glasses.

"I think I can guess what her response was," Lisa replied as Zoe started wiping her glasses.

"She probably told you that Rita and I would make up and get back together."

"Yeah," she glanced up briefly, "that was pretty much the case but on the way back I told her that that would never happen after what you'd told me."

"So then she picked out who? Kelly?"

"Yeah," she swallowed and put her glasses back on, "so you see, it's really my fault in a way for opening my big mouth."

"You didn't really do anything wrong there," Lisa smiled crookedly, "you just trusted her with that information because she's in the fellowship too, and inside AA we're certainly not anonymous, it can be misused and become gossip but the point is, she used that information to gain an advantage and that's deceitful," she rose and picked up her phone.

"So, don't blame yourself for that one. I've been down that track especially in early sobriety, I used to blame myself for shit I'd never done. I used to work myself into a frazzle over something I'd said or done when I was drinking and sometimes I did need to make my amends but other times the other person didn't even remember my shocking crime."

She crossed the floor and put the phone down in front of her.

"And I've left my phone unlocked in front of you a few times and walked out to get a coffee or go for a piss," she straightened up, "and I wouldn't do that if I didn't trust you, and there's no way I would dare to fuck around with your phone either. Friends don't do that to each other unless they're just fooling around," she laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm gonna start dinner, you can either sit and chill out or come through and give me a hand," she let go a moment later and walked past the couch and into the dinette.

"We're having honeyed chicken, steamed rice and some stir fried vegetables."

Zoe stared at Lisa's phone and then took her own phone out and placed it next to Lisa's.

"I'll help," she pulled her jacket off and draped it over the arm of the couch, "but I'm going to play that piece I was practising last night because it's a new one you haven't heard yet," she continued as she made her way into the dinette.

"So, I get a personal performance?" Lisa chuckled, "wow, now that's a nice thing to come home to," she opened the fridge.

"Okay," she reached in and pulled out the vegetable drawer, "you can start cutting the veggies while I get the chicken portions out of the chest freezer."

***

"So, what was your first time like?" Zoe asked some time later as Lisa dribbled honey over the last drumstick.

"Nick, I was in my first year of law school and he was a second year. We had a few bourbons and I had half a joint because that's what we did in uni and when he put his hand between my legs I just froze," she laid the drumstick on the tray.

"We were together for six glorious months and I really thought he was going to marry me until Ilona turned up. She was a couple of years older than him and was helping an older colleague run a seminar for a day on tax law but Nick knew her from school," she picked up the jar of garlic granules.

"They were both privately educated and had been at the same school, that information had been the subject of a classroom joke during a brief lecture. He'd even confessed to me in between two of the sessions that he'd had a crush on her in high school but I just laughed it off," she flipped the lid on the jar.

"I suppose I should have picked up on the body language but I was too busy trying to absorb some very complicated tax laws and other associated stuff but two days later he went to her place of work and bumped into her," she sprinkled garlic on the chicken.

"Accidentally on purpose of course," she winked, "one drink led to another and before I could say where the fuck have you been it was goodbye Lisa, hello Ilona, I was devastated at the time, and I admit that I used to pick up a drink on the memory more than once. In hindsight what hurt me the most was that an older more sexually experienced woman had stolen my boyfriend, and Ilona was an extremely attractive woman," she smiled crookedly, "I think most of the guys in those sessions paid extra careful attention to anything she said, Ilona could have talked about anything other than tax law and they'd have been fascinated," she put the jar down.

"She even affected me to be honest, Ilona was the first woman I felt some kind of attraction to back then, she had intelligence combined with physical beauty.

"So, did they get married?"

"They were going out for the rest of his second year, he was doing the standard three year course in accountancy, but in his third year his parents let him move into the second house and she moved in with him," she replied.

"But karma is a bitch," she smiled at her.

"They were due to get married a week after his graduation but then she had a brief affair with a female colleague and decided to cancel the wedding and move in with her," Lisa chuckled as she propped her palms on the bench.

"Now that probably was a good excuse to get well and truly pissed out of my skull," she looked past her as the memory came back.

"I laughed so hard I nearly had an accident. His parents had thrown in a sizeable chunk of money to help pay for a honeymoon in America, the tickets were booked, the reception venue at some winery out in the Yarra Valley was booked, and then the lovely Ilona said thanks but no thanks and left him sitting in the house wondering what the fuck he'd done wrong. He did try to get back with me but by then I was on my third boyfriend and Nick was just ancient history," her eyes twinkled as she pictured Ilona and Julie.

"And in the ultimate fuck you, much later on of course, Ilona and her partner, Julie became friends of mine," she grinned.

"It was about two and a half years ago, we both looked at each other at the cashpoint in Kmart at Chirnside and said, 'I know you,' at the same time," she straightened up.

"I thought at first that she was trying to pick me up because she was waiting for me to put my purchases through but instead she just wanted to know if I'd heard from Nick. I hadn't but one thing led to another and I ended up having coffee with Ilona and Julie that day," she reached over and tugged at Zoe's sleeve.

"Julie has an online boutique fashion business, she made a dress for me, and when I was with Rita, she actually made some of those cosplay clothes Rita wanted me to wear. Ilona is her part time business manager, but she's also a finance director for a big company, I'll show you their website later on," she stepped over to the stove and opened the oven.

"So, the moral of the story is," she turned the dial, "your first love may not be your only love," she walked back to the bench, "shit just happens," she picked up the baking tray.

"And to think, if he hadn't left me I could have had my honeymoon in America."

"He sounds like a spoiled brat," Zoe ventured as Lisa put the tray in the oven.

"You don't miss much," Lisa closed the oven door, "but at the time I couldn't stop laughing," she turned around and stared at the rice cooker.

"Okay, let's leave that for twenty minutes or so, the rice and veggies won't take long. Go and get your violin and sit over there so I can have some music while I work."

Zoe slid off the stool to fetch her violin.

***

Lisa carried the empty plates to the dishwasher while Zoe wiped down the tablecloth. Honeyed chicken, steamed rice and vegetables had filled her, she glanced at Lisa as the older woman started loading the dishwasher. Her impromptu violin performance had impressed Lisa and Zoe had felt somewhat easier now that the effects were wearing off, especially the paranoia she'd felt at Charlie's house. It had evaporated almost without her knowledge since she'd stepped into Lisa's house and yet, she could plainly recall the nervousness when she was standing on the front porch watching Kelly drive away.

She picked up a straw basket that had held buttered French bread and brought it into the kitchen, there was one solitary piece on the paper towel.

"Thanks," Lisa murmured as she walked back to the table to retrieve their glasses, "the benefits of living alone, you cook what you eat and then you wash the dishes yourself but at least I have my sobriety dishwasher," she grinned.

"What do you mean by that?" Zoe asked as she popped the bread into her mouth.

"I bought it on a whim after my first seven days. I remember standing outside Dan Murphy's thinking about going in and buying just one bottle of wine, just in case I'd jumped the gun and blown my last drink out of proportion. I turned around to look at one of those digital billboards and one of the advertisements was for a dishwasher. The thought of a drink slipped out of my mind and I went and bought it then and there, but it meant that I didn't have enough money for a drink, and so it became my sobriety dishwasher," she glanced Zoe.

"It snowballed after that, I spent a bit of money on clothes and then a gym membership to lose enough weight to fit into my new clothes because I'd bought clothes that would have fitted me when I was nineteen, but the dishwasher started it all off," she smirked.

Zoe stared at the dishwasher as she scrunched the paper towerl into a ball. Over dinner, Lisa had casually talked about her view of relationships in sobriety.

"We're with someone for one day at a time, it's the same as not drinking. I've never said I'll never drink again because I don't know what life is going to throw at me ten years down the track, I mean I hope I'll be sober but it happens. The older members taught me to segment my life into twenty four hour compartments. I thought at first it was just too simplistic because my life is complicated, I still had my job when I put the booze down," she put her glass of water down.

"I couldn't reconcile that concept with having to make plans at work, I had schedules to work with, clients to see and court dates but gradually I began to understand that while I can still make plans for the future I have to keep my head in the now. It means I have to bring myself back into today and focus on what needs doing now, yesterday's history and tomorrow's a mystery," she picked up a piece of bread.

"And for me it's a constant battle, I'm forever projecting into the future, especially when there are new changes at work or home, I find myself imagining all kinds of things and before you know it I'm ten years down the track and this new love of my life has just walked out and wants nothing to do with me any more," she smiled crookedly.

Zoe put the paper in the bin as Lisa returned to the dishwasher with the glasses.

"So, this twenty four program, could I live that as well?"

"Of course you could," she put the glasses in the rack and closed the door.

"It's not exclusive to Alcoholics Anonymous," she opened the detergent drawer and picked up a bottle of detergent, "I interact with people all day long who have all kinds of problems, from marital to work issues and all of them could benefit from just focusing on what they have right here, right now. Projecting ahead isn't exclusive to alcoholics," she poured in some detergent.