After the mind-shattering experience with Thomas and Li, I felt I needed to chill out a little. The moral trappings of my religious upbringing were causing me guilt for the first time in my life. I've done a lot of wild things in my life, but in the last few weeks I had crossed lines which perhaps should not be crossed. Lesbian incest with my adopted sister. Miscegenationous and exhibitionist sodomy; getting fucked in the ass by a monstrously-endowed black man while his girlfriend and my fiancΓ©e watched. I was doing things not even mentioned in The Bible. I felt like I was spinning out of control.
Will, bless his heart, was very supportive of me during this confusing time. He understood that I didn't want to be touched sexually and left me alone in this respect. He even submitted to my need for snuggling and backrubs which led nowhere. Still, I held strange resentments against him, as if he had been to blame for my excesses. He had not pushed me into anything, but I couldn't let go of the belief that I would not have gone as far as I did had he not been so passively encouraging.
Will suggested that I take a night class at the community college where he taught, to give me something to occupy my mind with besides sexual guilt. I decided to take him up on the offer. He'd just bought a new computer, and I enjoyed messing around with Photoshop. So I signed up for a course on that. Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-9.
It was kind of weird being back in school. I'd forgotten the first-day anticipatory feelings of looking around the classroom as it filled up and wondering if any of these people would be friends. There seemed to be two distinct types; middle-aged people here for "life enrichment" and just-out-of-high-school kids here for a computer credit. I fell awkwardly between these two groups. I didn't feel like I could relate to any of my classmates. It was just as well. I wasn't here to socialize, I was here to learn.
Then the instructor walked into the room. All I can say is Wow. She was a bit older than me, but still younger than the mid-life faction. The first adjectives that came to mind were "crisp" and "cool." I know it sounds like I'm describing a soft drink, but that was the impression she gave off. Clean and severe. A classically beautiful face upon which a smile would have seemed out of place, with short blonde hair. She was dressed entirely in white. A white jacket over a tank-top and a medium-length white skirt. Nice legs. I mean, nice.
Despite my alleged sexual burn-out, I found myself wondering what her breasts were like under that jacket.
"Good evening," she said. "My name is Ms. Summerfield."
She spoke with an unusual, clipped accent that I couldn't place. I found out later that she was from South Africa, and had spent time in Kuwait, Paris, Berlin and Hong Kong. She wore an intriguing air of worldliness about her.
She started lecturing and I have to say I had a hard time focusing. The rhythms of her voice were hypnotic. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, especially when she sat on her desk and crossed her long legs.
Then came lab time, where everybody worked on individual computers and Ms. Summerfield walked around the room looking over everyone's shoulders. I actually started trembling when she stood behind me. I made a couple stumbling clicks and had to undo a few steps of work.
"Very good, Lisa," she said in that striking accent. I was thrilled that she knew my name already. I liked the way it sounded in her mouth. "Have you tried this?"
Then she leaned over me, close enough for me to smell her perfume, which was as foreign and as tasteful as was everything else about her. Her cool powdered hand touched mine on the mouse and guided it to a drag-down feature I'd never used before. I couldn't tell you what it was. I turned towards her and fought off a powerful but entirely inappropriate desire to kiss her neck.
Needless to say, I didn't get much work done for the rest of that class period. I walked out to the parking lot on unsteady legs. I masturbated in my car, for the first time in weeks.
To think I'd taken this class to get my mind off sex.
"How'd it go?" Will asked when I got home.
"All right," I said. I faked a yawn and told him I was going to bed.
I lay awake for hours, fantasizing and lazily playing with myself. I was hot for teacher; perhaps the first time in my life a Van Halen song title had been so relevant. I wondered if I could face Ms. Summerfield on Thursday having admitted to myself how badly I wanted her. I wondered how long I could go without trying to make the fantasy real.
As it turned out, less than twenty-four hours.
The next day was Wednesday, one of the days I went to the gym. After working out, I was in the locker room getting ready to take a shower. I have to say, since discovering the homo- side of my bisexuality, the locker room at the gym took on a whole new meaning. It's all I could do not to stare. All the women walking around naked. Every age, size, shape and color; each of them beautiful in their own way. Breasts; from apple-sized mouthfuls to huge dangling milk-gourds. Pussies; from shaved bare to daintily trimmed to full-blown fur burgers. Asses; from mouth-watering heart-shaped pears to junk-in-the-trunk ghetto booties. Nothing was hidden; tattoos, scars, miles and miles of bare flesh. And the smell. There was something so enticing about the accumulation of sweaty women.
I was just peeling off my sports bra when an especially distracting woman walked over, wrapped in a towel. Her back was to me, but I could tell she was lean and toned, a bit older than me but in better shape. Short blonde hair and something vaguely familiar about her bearing. She dropped the towel, exposing a tanned, athletic body. Her back still to me, she dried off her hair, and then bent over to towel between her toes. She bent down far enough so that I could see the lips of her pussy and some light blonde hair peeking out between her legs. Oh boy. I had a brief but intense fantasy about Putting. My tongue. Right. There.
The woman stood up and turned around. I looked away quickly, so as not to be caught staring, and pretended to be absolutely absorbed in getting my own clothes off.
"Lisa?"
I turned, startled to say the least to hear my own name. The woman I'd been checking out was looking at me now. Ms. Summerfield, my PhotoShop instructor, the woman I'd spent most of the previous night fantasizing about. She was completely naked, and this made it hard to look her in the eye.
"Oh hello, Ms. Summerfield," I said as casually as I could.
"Ms. Summerfield," she scoffed. "For Heaven's sake, call me Autumn."
Her eyes went from my face to my naked breasts, just for a second. I was both thrilled and very self-conscious. My nipples, I'm sure, betrayed my arousal. I realized something a few beats too late.
"Wait," I said. "Your name is Autumn Summerfield?"
"Summerfield is my married name," she said.
My face must have registered disappointment, because she was quick to add: "I've been divorced for years, but kept the name. My maiden name is much worse."
"What is it?" I asked.
"I will never tell."
She got dressed, all in white as she had been dressed for class the night before. Even her bra and panties were white. I was stuck; I didn't know if I should continue getting undressed for the shower, so I just stood there with my arms crossed over my naked breasts.
"Are you enjoying the class so far?" she asked.
"Yes," I said. "Very much so."
"Good, good."
She slipped into a pair of white shorts and what appeared to be a tennis shirt. I just stood there like a topless idiot.
"Listen, Lisa," she said, her accent making my boring name sound extremely exotic. "Are you free for the rest of the afternoon?"
My mouth went suddenly dry. "Yes," I said. "Why?"
"Because I'd like to take you out to lunch," she said coolly. "And afterwards, I want you come with me back to my flat."
"Flat?"
"My apartment," she said. "You're quite attractive, Lisa. I'd love to take you to bed."
I was stunned silent by her directness.
"Forgive my being so blunt," she said, "but I find seduction such a tedious process. Some find the chase to be the most enjoyable part of the game, but I've always preferred to go straight to the kill. You are gay, are you not?"
"I'm bi," I managed to squeak.