Tales From The Stream Ch 29

Tales from the Stream

by Davina Lee

*

Author's Note

Even if you're a regular reader of the lesbian space pirate tales, it's been a while. So let's get caught up together, shall we?

Previously on Tales from the Stream...

The triplets spoke again, one after another.

"I am one person.

"Fashioned as three by science.

"Choice of my parents."

"Aidoru explained it to me while you were busy in the conn, ensuring our safety, Captain," said Lúcia. "Three bodies, sharing one consciousness."

* * *

As the crew began to pair off, a young woman dressed in a simple cotton shift and clutching a half dozen carnations approached Lúcia. "Greetings, sister," said the young woman. "Please accept this flower from The Church of Religious Consciousness."

"Thank you," said Lúcia, and curtsied. "You are most kind."

"Would you care to make a donation?"

"Sorry?"

* * *

"Harvester crabs are terrible gossips," said Amaliya.

Jade nodded. "Anyway, he wants to know if you'd mind him hitching a ride back with you."

Darius tapped at Jade's palm some more.

"Darius says he's heard stories about Moberg from Moira and the others and it makes him sad. So he would like to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else."

* * *

Avie stood facing Amaliya, with Captain Joan at her side and Darius riding on her shoulder. "It's tempting," she said. "This is a beautiful place. I could easily get lost here. But..."

"But," said Amaliya, brushing her hand against Avie's shoulder. "You've got a life on New Melbourne."

"Yeah," said Avie. "It's kind of crap at the moment, but it's my life, and I'm getting back on my feet. Plus, it's home, you know."

"I know," said Amaliya, opening her arms wide.

* * *

Jade turned and stood next to Lúcia. "That thing giving you trouble?"

Lúcia nodded. "It does not seem to be dispensing tea this morning."

* * *

And now...

Tales from the Stream 29: Thanks, I'll Be Here All Week

Onboard The Black Prince, in the conn

Captain Jade sat in the big chair, leaning back with her feet propped up on the control console. She moved her eyes to the various displays, starting at the far left and scanning each one top to bottom before moving on. After looking over the last display on the right, Jade stretched her arms up over her head and bent her elbows to lock her hands together behind her neck.

She began to whistle an old sea shanty.

Halfway into Jade's chorus, the display panel in the center flashed with a green outline, while simultaneously emitting a muted chime. The words New Message, appeared briefly and faded away.

Jade tucked her legs and put her feet back on the deck. She leaned forward and tapped the center console screen. "Ahh," she said, smiling. "Avianna."

* * *

Amidship, in the lounge

The lights in the lounge were fully dimmed. Amaliya, Emily, Jamie, and Joan were draped over the two Megacomf sofas, arms dangling, eyes closed, and heads lolling. On the floor at their feet was a tablet computer, attached by a cable to a palm-sized video projector. Projected on the wall of the lounge were the words,

Sci-Fi Marathon Weekend, returning after these messages

.

On the leftmost Megacomf, Amaliya stirred, rolling onto her left side. "Dagobah," she mumbled.

Emily rolled her head toward the sound of Amaliya's voice and then away. "Dagobah System," muttered Emily.

Jamie, though still asleep like the others, was next to join in. "Dagobah System," mumbled Jamie. "Must go to..."

"Dagobah System," said Joan.

"Dagobah System," they said in unison.

* * *

In the Captain's Suite

The lights in the bedroom had been turned off. On the king-sized bed lay three identical Aidoru, clustered around Lúcia in the center. Both women had closed their eyes. Between them lay a single tablet computer with the sound muted. On its screen were two smiling television presenters, standing in front of a row of people sporting telephone headsets. Crawling across the screen in bold letters were the words,

The Soft Parade: A Doors Documentary would not be possible without the generous support of viewers like you

, followed by a QR code.

"Petition the lord with prayer," mumbled one Aidoru.

"Petition the lord with prayer," muttered the next Aidoru, rolling her head toward Lúcia.

"Petition the lord with prayer," whispered the third Aidoru, reaching out to lay her hand over Lúcia's forearm.

After a brief pause, Lúcia, in the center of the king bed, sat bolt upright.

"You cannot petition the lord with prayer!" she hollered, and then flopped back down, once again falling into a deep slumber.

* * *

The next morning, in the ship's galley

Captain Jade stood in front of the galley dispenser. She tapped at the dispenser's touch screen, swiped left and then right, then tapped again. Under the nozzle, her mug remained empty.

Captain Jade sighed.

Lúcia walked in, followed by three Aidoru.

"Good morning, Captain," said Lúcia.

"Good morning."

"

Ohayo

, Captain," said Aidoru, looking at Jade's empty cup.

"Coffee is still not working?

"Perhaps some matcha?"

"If you don't mind sharing," said Jade.

"Not at all, Captain.

"I have plenty for sharing.

"Gifts from friends back home."

Jade smiled. "Thanks, Aidoru. You're a life saver."

As one Aidoru departed in search of powdered tea, a puffy-eyed Amaliya shuffled in, her hair a rats nest of tangles piled atop her head.

"Good morning," said Jade.

"Is it?" replied Amaliya.

"Well, the dispenser's still not working."

Amaliya let out a noisy sigh and visibly deflated, losing three centimeters of height as she slouched.

"But," said Jade. "Aidoru's got some matcha she's offered to share."

Amaliya turned and shuffled toward the Aidoru closest to her. She wrapped Aidoru in her arms and squeezed. "I love you, Aidoru. I love you and your magical gifts that keep us all caffeinated."

As Amaliya moved to wrap the second Aidoru in an embrace, the third Aidoru appeared with a small wooden box in one hand and a bamboo whisk in the other.

Aidoru opened the box. Captain Jade reached for a kettle that she filled with water. She flipped the power switch. The group of women clustered around the kettle and stared.

"Nothing's happening," said Amaliya.

"Patience," said Jade.

"A watched pot never boils," offered Lúcia.

Aidoru set her supplies on the countertop and pulled more mugs from the cupboard. The remaining women returned to staring at the kettle.

"I think it made a noise," said Amaliya, craning her neck.

"Who wants to go to New Melbourne?" asked Captain Jade.

"I do not think it will take that long to boil, Captain," said Lúcia. "The saying about not watching it is only a myth, as far as I know."

"Not while we're waiting for the kettle," said Jade. "This is totally separate. I got an email from Avianna last night. You remember Avianna?"

"She came for the Moroccan dinner. At Mia's farm."

"That's right," Captain Jade nodded. "She said she's doing better and she'd love to have us visit sometime."

"I hope she is not being hassled by the Reverend Moberg," said Lúcia. "He is not a nice man."

"I don't think so. She seemed pretty upbeat and optimistic about things," said Jade. "She didn't really mention Moberg at all."

"Did I hear somebody say Moberg," bellowed Jamie from outside the galley. "Is that skeazy bastard in need of an ass whooping?"

Jamie walked in, cracking her knuckles, with Emily at her side.

Amaliya, Jade, and Lúcia stared at the kettle. Jamie and Emily turned to stare at Amaliya, Jade, and Lúcia.

"What are we doing?" asked Jamie.

"Watching water boil," said Amaliya.

"Possibly going on a trip later," said Jade.

"Matcha," said Lúcia.

At the galley counter, three Aidoru turned around and smiled.

* * *

Ten minutes later

Amaliya, Jade, Lúcia, Jamie, and Emily sat around the galley table, each hunched over her steaming mug, inhaling the wafting vapors. Aidoru finished whisking the last one and turned to join them with mugs for each of her.

"I love you, Aidoru," said Amaliya. "I mean that. It's not just your bottomless matcha stash. You're truly a beautiful human being."

Captain Jade raised her mug. "I said it before. I'll say it again. You're a life saver."

Mugs went up around the table. "Hear, hear," was the chorus of voices.

"So what's this about Moberg?" asked Jamie.

"Not Moberg," said Jade. "Avianna. She sent an email. She wants us to come to--"

"Dagobah System," said Amaliya.

"Um, no..." said Jade. "Actually--"

"Dagobah System," said Emily, next.

"Avie lives on New Mel--"

"Dagobah System," said Jamie. "Must go to--"

"Y'all need to drink your tea, first," said Jade. "Then we'll talk."

Captain Joan appeared at the galley doorway, rubbing her eyes. "What'd I miss?" she asked.

"Dagobah System," said everyone but Captain Jade.

* * *

Jim Morrison Memorial Space Elevator, New Melbourne

"Everyone's got a buddy?" asked Captain Jade, glancing around at the assembled group. Riding on Jade's shoulder, Reg turned his eye stalks to each of the women clustered around Jade.

"Make sure you know who your buddy is and don't stray too far from the group."

"We're all adults here," said Jamie.

"Safety's important," said Jade. "You can never be too--"

"Excuse me," said a young man dressed in a white robe, approaching with a stack of leaflets in hand.

"If you say the words church of religious consciousness or ask for a donation, you lose a testicle," said Jade. Beside Jade, Jamie made a fist and began cracking her knuckles one by one.

"What? No!" said the young man, stumbling back. "It's a variety club." He peeled off a leaflet and held it out. "Open mic night. Sheesh. Lighten up."

"Sorry," said Jade.

"You might want to reconsider the robe," offered Jamie.

"Whatever," he mumbled, and wandered off, sandals slapping on the terrazzo of the space elevator plaza.

Jade and Jamie turned their eyes to the leaflet.

"Open mic night," said Jade, reading the top.

"Deco Bar," said Jamie, reading the address.

Behind Jamie came a chorus of voices. "Dagobah?" they said.

"What is it with you people?" muttered Jade, holding her head in her hand.

* * *

Deco Bar, twenty minutes later

"I feel like we should have tried to contact Avie, first," said Jade, walking through the entrance.

"Dagobah System," mumbled the women around her.

"And yet somehow," said Jade. "I think I would have been overruled."

On stage, a man walked out, approaching the single microphone secured in its stand. "Is this thing on?" He tapped at the mic, sending a thumping noise echoing around the dimly lit club. "Welcome to The Deco Bar."

"Dagobah," followed the chorus of voices.

"I swear," muttered Jade.

"First up tonight," said the man on the stage. "The comedy stylings of Avianna Cohen."

"Avie?" said Jade. "Hey crew, it's Avie! She's here."

"Hey, hey!" said Avianna, running up to the microphone.

"Sorry, I'm a little out of breath," she said. "I just flew in from Kepler-62f, and boy are my arms tired!"

A few chuckles rose in response.

"I love that joke," said Jade.

"Seriously though. How 'bout that space elevator? That's a scary ride, huh? Twenty minutes of where's my stomach.

"Almost makes you want to take the stairs, doesn't it?

"But you know what? I don't trust stairs either. No sir. You can't trust stairs. They're always up to something."

A few chuckles rose from the audience along with an equal number of groans.

"Kind of like my last boyfriend," continued Avie.

"Yeah, dating's so tough, you know? It's getting to the point where I might want to go gay.

"Speaking of that, do we have any lesbians in the audience tonight?"

Cheers went up. Captain Jade put her fist in the air and shouted.

"Yeah? There's a few.

"I know a nice girl. We had dinner once. Wouldn't say I'm gay yet.

"So maybe you lesbians out there can answer something for me. What does a lesbian bring to her second date?

"A U-Haul," shouted a woman in the audience.

"What's that?"

"A U-Haul," shouted the woman, again.

"A U-Haul? You should be writing my jokes, ma'am. See me after the show."

The chuckles from the crowd grew in volume.

"A U-Haul," said Avianna, shaking her head.

"So just out of curiosity, what does a gay guy bring to his second date?

"Any gay guys out there?

A few men in the back hollered out and raised their beer steins.

"Well hello, sailor!

"Yeah, so what does a gay guy bring to a second date?"

The men in the back shrugged.

"You don't know?" said Avie.

She was met by another shrug.

"Ha!" said Avie. "That's what I thought. What second date?"

Groans and laughter filtered up from the crowd.

"Gotcha there." Avie grinned.

"I shouldn't complain though, at least you're getting a date. You're one up on me. I live on my own. To let you know how sad my life is, I went out yesterday to buy a can opener.

"Yeah this is a big deal for me.

"Anyway, I get it home and it's not working.

"Turns out it's a

can't

opener."

The audience groaned.

"That's how my life is going. I got a

can't

opener.

"I used to have a mood ring, too," said Avie. "And just to clue you in on how things are going, somebody stole it.

"Now, I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Avie scanned the crowd as another mix of chuckles and groans went up.

"I've had a tough time lately. Lots of couch surfing, you know? Crashing at friends' places till I get things straightened out.

"One friend's been really supportive, she even let me have my own room. So now that I've got a little money coming in I decided to do something nice for her."

Avie leaned into the microphone and lowered her voice. "You want to know what I did?"

A chorus of

yeah

went up from the audience while Avie surveyed the crowd.

"I bought her an elephant to put in her room.

"She said, um thanks?

"I said, don't mention it."

Avianna paused and scanned the crowd again. "That guy gets it," she said, pointing. "That guy right over there."

"Speaking of animals," said Avie. "I recently adopted a dog.

"Got him from a locksmith, this dog. Yeah.

"First thing he did was make a bolt for the door."

As the chuckle went up around the room, Jade stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled.

"Thanks, you've been a great audience," said Avie raising her arm in the air and waving. "Stick around. Next up, all the way from Neo Tokyo, Kessoku Band!

"And don't forget to tip your bartenders and servers!"

* * *

Ten minutes later

Up on stage a four piece rock band was trying their best to break the local noise ordinances. Their pink haired guitarist, standing atop a mango crate, was ripping out an extended solo as Avie made her way over.

"Hey," said Avie, offering a little wave. "You came."

"Of course," said Jade. "Though you could have been a little more explicit about the directions to the place."

"Sorry." Avianna looked down. "I wasn't sure... I thought I might bomb. Or chicken out. I didn't want you to come in having high expectations and be disappointed."

"Disappointed?" Jade chuckled as she slapped Avie on the shoulder. "You were hilarious. That joke about the U-Haul. Comedy gold."

"Avie!" shouted Amalyia, over the din of the guitar. She held her arms wide and wrapped Avianna in a hug.

Avianna rested her head on Amaliya's shoulder for a moment before Amaliya steered her toward her bosom. "Still trying to convert me?" mumbled Avie.

"Would you be more upset if I said yes or no?"

Avianna shrugged, and Amaliya pressed Avie's head further into her bosom.

"There, there," said Amaliya, smirking. "Take your time."

"You were amazing!" said Captain Joan, walking up beside Avie and Amaliya.

"Funny stuff," said Jamie. "Took me a second to get that elephant in the room joke, but when I did... boom!"

"Thanks," said Avie.

"I never knew you were so talented," said Emily, rubbing her hand over Avianna's shoulder.

"It's a new thing," said Avie. "I'm still feeling it out."

"I think you've found it," said Jade. And then, glancing toward the stage, Jade frowned. "What is that girl doing?" she mumbled.

"What?" said Avie. "What's going on?"

Up at the stage, Aidoru had pressed her way to the front. The band's lead singer was stooped down and the two appeared to be involved in a lengthy conversation. Meanwhile, the guitarist was still shredding out her extended solo.

"Excuse me. I'll be right back," said Jade, turning to march toward the stage. "Aidoru, honey," hollered Jade. "You can't leave your buddy like that. We need to stick together."

"Honestly," mumbled Jamie. "We're all adults here."

"Safety's important," said Jade.

"Fine," said Jamie, turning to follow Jade. "I'll be Aidoru's buddy."

"Where are they going?" asked Lúcia.

"To wrangle your girlfriend," said Emily, stepping up to join the conversation.

"But she's just--" Lúcia's words were interrupted by Captain Joan hollering and waving.

"I found us a booth," said Joan. "Hurry before somebody else snags it."

"Come on, Avie," said Amaliya, slipping her hand in with Avianna's. "Let's go have a seat."

The group of women wandered toward the back of the club, following Captain Joan's lead.

* * *

"So I have to ask," said Captain Joan. "And feel free to tell me to take a hike. But, what's the scoop on Moberg? He still hassling you at all?"

Avianna chuckled. "You're going to love this. You remember that cute little harvester crab who hitched a ride with me from Mia's?"

"Darius?" asked Joan.

Avie nodded. "Every morning when I'd wake up, Darius would be gone. Then later after breakfast, he'd just kind of turn up.

"I couldn't figure it out, so one day I got up early and followed him."

Joan nodded as Avie continued.

"So it turns out, every morning, Darius gets up at the crack of dawn, marches up the hill to Moberg's place and spends the next twenty minutes letting the air out of his van's tires."

"Seriously?" Captain Joan tossed her head back and laughed. "Hey, Amaliya, you hearing this?"

Amaliya nodded, grinning.

"Every morning," said Avie. "Then he just sneaks back in like nothing ever happened."

"Classic!" said Joan.

"I know," said Avie, wiping under her eye. "And he's so casual about it."

Captain Joan laid her hand on Avie's shoulder.

"Sorry," said Avie, turning her eyes to her lap. "It's just when I think about--"

Avianna's words were interrupted by a server coming by with a tray full of beer steins. "On the house," she said, unloading them onto the table. "Let me know if you want something besides beer."

"You sure you've got the right table?" asked Avie.

"You're the comedian, yeah?"

Avie nodded.

"Manager says you killed it tonight. This is a bribe to get you to come back."

"Me?" said Avianna, touching the fingers of her right hand to the center of her chest. "You want me to come back?"

"Well, it was the manager's request," said the server, setting down the last of the beers and tucking the tray under her arm. "But you're kinda cute, so yeah, look me up next time you're in here."

"Oh..." said Avie, waving her hand in front of her face. "Oh, what just happened there."

"I think you just landed yourself a gig," said Joan.

"And maybe a date," said Amaliya.

"Yeah," said Avianna, rubbing under both eyes now. "I think so."

"You deserve it," said Joan.

"I... I..." stuttered Avianna, sniffling and rubbing under her eyes again.