Tales From the Stream

To Alex, my dear friend.

*

Author's Note

Our intrepid crew has stopped off in a quiet little system in the remote end of the galaxy to paint over the former ship's name with The Black Prince. It should be a simple task. Of course, in space, nothing is ever easy.

* * *

Chapter 10: Farmer Girl

On Board The Black Prince

Emily leaned back in the pilot's seat. She swiveled around to face Lúcia at an oblique angle and sighed. She draped her hand loosely over the arm of the chair and reached out with her fingers.

Lúcia, slouched in the copilot seat, took Emily's hand in hers, weaving their fingers together.

Music was playing from the speakers in the conn.

"So sweet," muttered Emily.

"Thank you."

"Which one is this again?"

Lúcia cocked her head.

"The song," said Emily.

Lúcia craned her neck just enough to examine the display on the small device clipped to the arm of her jumpsuit. "The Delfonics."

"That's right."

Lucia turned a half-lidded gaze to Emily. "It's called, 'Didn't I?' And the in the parentheses, 'Blow Your Mind'."

"Mm-hmm," said Emily. "So did I? The part in the parentheses?"

"There are angels looking down upon us on this day, my love, locked in eternal struggle. For I am quite certain they are torn between the desire to maintain their heavenly position or fall to Earth if only for the chance to taste your sweet lips."

"I've never had anybody put it quite like that," said Emily. "I like you, Lúcia."

"Do you see that red glow over there?"

"Just the aftereffects of the fireworks, baby. From when I blew your mind that time."

"No," said Lúcia. "Though it was a most enthusiastic hour of kissing. I was referring to the glow over there on the console."

"Oh hon, it's just collision avoidance," said Emily. "Tell me again about that part with the angels... Oh, shit." Emily sat bolt upright

"What is it, my sweet? Is your mind no longer blown? Perhaps we can fix that with another—"

Emily snatched the microphone from its cradle. "Uh, Cap'n," she said. "Maybe you two should come back inside. We got a bogie on the scope."

Jade's voice crackled over the speaker in the conn, momentarily interrupting sweet, soulful intonations of The Delfonics. "English, Science Officer Emily. English."

"Cap'n, collision avoidance is tracking an object of interest. Looks like it's coming from the space station behind you."

"Space station?" Amaliya's static-laced voice emanated from the speaker. "What space station?"

"Behind us," said Jade.

"I thought is was a moon. Didn't you tell me it was a moon?"

Emily keyed the mic. "That's no moon, it's a—"

"An old orbital farm." Jade's voice crackled. "Like really old. Abandoned. Nobody grows food that way anymore. Not since protein synthesis. Space junk. Might as well be a moon."

"We grow food that way," Amaliya said. "At least, Lúcia does."

"That's cause our galley's all jazzed up. Otherwise any sane person would—"

"I like Lúcia's vegetables," interrupted Amaliya, her radio mic crackling.

Lúcia grinned. Emily pressed her lips together in a tight line.

"Me too, baby," said Jade. "It's just that—"

Emily keyed the mic again. "Listen, we all love Lúcia's veggies, but that doesn't change the fact that collision avoidance is tracking an object of interest and you two are currently between it and the ship. I think for everyone's safety—"

"How close?" asked Jade.

"What?"

"The object of interest. How close is it?"

"I don't know. Couple thousand kilometers. Moving slow. Erratic. Collision avoidance rates it as a five."

"Out of five?" Jade said. "That's like the lowest, isn't it? We just started painting. Amaliya, honey, how much is left?"

Amaliya's voice came over the speakers. "Right now it says, 'The Bla'. The rest is primer."

"The Bla?" said Emily.

"The hull," said Jade. "As in we still haven't painted the 'c—k— Prince'. You wanna sail the stream as 'The Bla'? Not me, hon. We'd never live it down. Dread Captain Jade and the crew of the mighty Bla. Nope. Ain't goin' out like that."

"Would it change your mind if I told you the console is now displaying a probability of four?" asked Emily.

Lúcia kitted her brow. "Why is the screen flashing?"

"Make that a three, Cap'n."

"Shit," said Jade. "Amaliya, baby, come on, let's pack it up and get back inside."

"Aye, Cap'n."

A deep thrumming sound filled the conn as the light flickered momentarily.

"What was that?" asked Lúcia.

"Reactor's kicking up," said Emily. "Getting ready to bring the rail guns online."

"What was that?" crackled Jade's voice.

"Rail guns charging. Reactor's compensating," said Emily, into the microphone this time.

"I felt that in my feet," said Amaliya.

"Get your asses in here. Pronto." Emily dropped the mic and reached for the safety harness. "Lúcia, honey, strap in, okay."

Lúcia shot a crisp salute, grinned, and reached for her safety harness.

* * *

Still dressed in her pressure suit, with her helmet dangling from her left hand, Jade stood leaning over the scope. "What the fuck?" she muttered.

The console pulsed red.

"Begging the captain's pardon, but I strongly suggest you strap in," said Emily.

Amaliya tugged Jade by the hand and they both took up residence in the two unoccupied seats.

"I swear that thing looks like a—"

Jade's speculation was interrupted by a piercing staccato beep. The console began flashing faster. The thrumming of the reactor reverberating through the hull increased, follow by a whirring.

"Captain..." said Emily, eyes fixed on the collision avoidance console. "We're at threat level two. Outer doors just opened. Rail guns have cleared their—"

"Microbus," said Jade, slamming her fist on the console. "Fucking Microbus."

"Captain?"

"Shut 'er down, Em. It's not a meteor. It's a ship."

"The collision avoidance A.I. would tend to disagree with that assessment, Cap'n. It's not letting me override."

"Shit." Jade picked up the mic. "Unidentified craft, this is Black Prince, Actual. You are on a collision trajectory. Change course immediately or you will be fired upon."

"Black Prince Actual?" Amaliya said, furrowing her brow.

Jade swiveled to meet her gaze. "It means the captain is speaking. You know, instead of a junior officer on comm duty."

Amaliya shrugged.

"Makes us sound more official," said Jade. "Like we're not to be trifled with. Just in case this little ship is full of nefarious individuals."

"Like making yourself look big and yelling at bears when you encounter them in the woods," said Lúcia.

"That happens a lot for you?"

"Discovery channel," said Lúcia.

There were nods all around the conn.

Jade keyed the mic again. "Unidentified, uh... Microbus. Say again. This is Black Prince, Actual. Change course immediately or you will be fired upon. Our collision avoidance computer has you locked. Rail guns are tracking your position. Check your scope if you don't believe me."

"Whoa, say again Black Prince?" came a voice from the speaker. The increased thrumming from the reactor made it difficult to discern.

"You. Are. About. To. Be. Annihilated," said Jade.

"Bogus," said the voice.

The thrumming of the reactor mechanics was felt throughout the hull.

"Listen, man. Change course now or—"

Jade's words fell short as a loud pop echoed from somewhere down the corridor. The conn was enveloped in darkness for a moment before being bathed in the dim glow of red LED lighting.

All around was deathly quiet.

"What just happened?" asked Amaliya.

The console flickered and beeped once, displaying the manufacturer's logo briefly before initiating its start-up sequence.

"I'd say the reactor just shit itself," said Jade. "And we're on emergency power."

Emily tapped and swiped at the pilot's console as it came back online. "Yep," she said. "Reactor scram. Popped breakers on number two and number three cooling pumps. Automatic shutdown."

"What?" said Amaliya.

"Sorry about that, man," came the crackly voice from the radio. "Veering off."

"What the fuck?" said Amaliya, her head in her hands. "Are we dead? Is this heaven? Lúcia? Is this what heaven looks like?"

Lúcia tapped at the device strapped to her arm. "If it is, there is no music."

"Reactor overloaded. Couldn't cool itself and shut down as a precaution," said Jade. "It's a good thing. Otherwise... well..."

"We'd be dead," said Amaliya. "Fuck." A tear streamed down her cheek. "Fuck."

"Baby," said Jade, reaching out. Emily and Lúcia joined in.

A moment later, a red faced Jade grabbed the microphone. "Listen here, you hippy dicktard. We almost blasted you out of the sky like space junk. And you really freaked out my girlfriend. Where's your fucking transponder signal? Huh?"

"Broke, man," came the voice from the radio. "Expensive."

"We can 3D print you one," offered Emily.

"Nah, man, it's cool. Don't need The Man keeping tabs on me anyway," said the voice on the radio. "Hey I noticed your running lights are burned out, man."

"It is not the only thing burned out," said Lúcia to no one in particular.

"That's because the reactor scrammed when our ship was preparing to blast your lousy ass into—"

"Whoa, man, sounds like you might need some repairs. Spare parts on that space station back there. But watch out for the spiders. They'll bite ya. Adios, amigas!"

The Microbus image on the scope grew smaller until it eventually disappeared.

"What a dipshit," muttered Jade.

"Fu-uh-uck." Amaliya shuddered.

Jade wrapped her in a hug.

"The good news is, the breakers reset automatically and the reactor start-up sequence just kicked in," said Emily, still tapping at the console.

"And the bad news?" said Lúcia.

"It's about a thirty-six hour process to achieve a stable reaction after a cold shutdown," said Jade.

"Yep," said Emily. "The computer estimates thirty-five and a half. But who's counting?"

"Thirty-six hours of the red light district?" Amaliya raised her head and turned toward the emergency lighting. She rubbed under her eye. "Normally I'd say it's romantic if I hadn't almost shit myself."

"Not to mention the CO2 scrubbers are offline," said Jade. "Eventually we'll have to suit up and breathe canned air. Fucking hippy in a microbus."

"Anybody else thinking that space station is looking like a really good option?" asked Emily.

"How's thrusters?" said Jade.

Emily swiped at the console. "Steam pressure's still up. Barely. Couple of blasts, maybe."

"Science officer Emily, point us toward that space station and give 'er whatever's left before it all goes cold."

"Aye, Cap'n."

Emily sent her hands over the controls. There were two short hissing sounds followed by one longer one that echoed through the hull. "Trajectory is dead on. About twenty minutes."

The crew let out a collective sigh.

* * *

On Board the Space Station.

"I was expecting something more impressive," said Amaliya, her helmet dangling at her side.

"It's an airlock," said Jade.

"Yeah, on a really big space station. Shouldn't it be a really big airlock?"

Emily pulled out the Michelin Guide and swiped at the screen. "Orbital farm," she said. "Takahashi-Ono corporation. Probably a Mark I, judging from the picture."

"Takahashi-Ono, huh?" Amaliya glanced around the dim confines of the airlock. A florescent tube was flickering in the corner. "One star. Do not recommend."

"I've heard of orbital farms," Jade said. "Never seen one."

"Says here they were used as a way to grow crops while the planets below..." Emily swiped at the Michelin Guide. "Or moons, it says there was one in orbit around a moon that was the sight of a violent uprising and is now on the international historic register. I get the feeling that's the only reason it made it past the guide's editors. Otherwise, mostly boring statistics."

"Planets below, what?" asked Amaliya.

"What?" said Emily.

"You said planets below or moons."

"Oh, right. Terraforming."

"That's what I remember about them," said Jade, snapping her fingers. "Planets take time to terraform, but the people need to eat. So they tow these hulks into orbit while shit gets straightened out down below. That was all before direct synthesis."

"Sometimes I wonder how we survived as a species," said Amaliya.

Shrugs came from all around, except for Lúcia. She had squatted down and was extending a finger toward a shiny, metal disc with eight legs and two mechanical pincers.

"Um, Lúcia," said Jade. "Remember what the dude said about the spiders?"

"Decapod," said Amaliya.

"What?"

"Eight legs, two pincers. It's a decapod. I'd say a crab, from the look of it."

"So hippie dude can't count. I'm guessing the claws are the parts that bite," said Jade. "And you're feeling better, huh?"

"I popped a tranq before we left." Amaliya shrugged once, then grinned.

The shiny metal crab skittered around in front of Lúcia while winking twin red LEDs on stalks.

"Lúcia, honey," said Jade.

The metal crab pranced in a circle and flipped itself over. Eight little legs pistoned in the air.

Lúcia grinned and rubbed the crab's metal belly with her index finger. When she flipped it back upright, it skittered off.

"Let's just be cautious of the local wildlife, that's all I'm saying," said Jade.

Amaliya began peeling off her pressure suit. Lúcia stood up and began unbuckling. As Emily and Jade followed, the metal crab came skittering across the floor, this time with two companions. They formed a semi-circle around Lúcia.

After much winking of eye stalks, one of the crabs flipped itself over. Again, Lúcia knelt and rubbed its belly for a moment before flipping it right-side up. The trio of crabs skittered off.

"That's some weird shit," said Jade. "Definitely weird shit. Amaliya? Em? You ever see anything like—"

"Um, captain?" It was Emily who pointed.

Lúcia was surrounded by metal crabs. Hundreds of eye stalks winked in the dim light of the airlock.

"Just stay still." Jade pulled the taser from her belt.

A single crab, directly in front of Lúcia flipped itself onto it's back. The other crabs turned to face Lúcia, raised up on their frontmost legs and froze in place.

"Lúcia," said Jade. "Don't make any sudden moves."

Lúcia knelt down, tickled the upside down crab's belly and flipped it back onto it's legs. The entire sea of winking eye stalks bounced excitedly, turned, and skittered off.

"What the actual fuck?" muttered Emily.

"I know, right?" said Amaliya.

The sea of crabs paused its collective movement. One turned around and skittered over to Lúcia. It reached up with a single pincer to tug at her pant leg.

"I've seen some weird shit, but..." mumbled Jade.

Lúcia followed the shining, undulating mass of metal crabs to a doorway ahead. A second door slid open and a bright light spilled into the airlock.

Jade sniffed at the air. "What is that...? That smell. It smells like—"

"Bee Balm," said Amaliya, inhaling deeply. "Bee Balm!"

"Wow," said Emily, "Just, wow. Stupid Michelin Guide. You really screwed the pooch on this one."

The four women passed through the doorway into a vast profusion of wildflowers.

* * *

"Fuck, yeah!" hollered Amaliya. "It's almost worth being pummeled by a Microbus for the chance to experience this."

Amaliya shimmied out of her jumpsuit and followed with her undershirt and panties. She scampered toward the horizon, her arms spread wide, turning a circle, completely naked.

"Baby, don't you think we should..." Jade started. "Shouldn't we wait until..."

Amaliya stopped and stared. She cupped her left breast and hoisted it upward. Craning her neck and extending her tongue, she encircled her nipple with a glistening trail of saliva.

"Shit," mumbled Jade. "Amaliya..." She chased after.

"Where do you s'pose they're off to?" said Emily.

"Hard to say. This station is much larger than I expected," said Lúcia. "It is difficult to discern the details of what's on the far side."

"You're not going to puke are you? Like last time?"

"Strangely, I feel no such urge. There is a peacefulness here I cannot completely describe."

"Like how you knew the crabs wouldn't bite?"

"I knew no such thing. I saw a creature struggling. Helpless, on it's back. I simply treated it as I would wish to be treated. No more. No less."

"The guide book says it's about two-hundred hectares of arable land. If you wrap that up in a long tube, how many kilometers across do you think that makes it?"

Lúcia shrugged.

"You sure you're not going to puke?"

Lúcia shook her head.

In the distance, Amaliya was giggling.

"Should we go after them?"

As soon as the words left Emily's mouth, a trio of crabs came tottering over. One pulled at Lúcia's jumpsuit again and then walked a meter toward a low rise. It walked halfway back, paused and waited, before dashing another meter forward.

Emily looked at Lúcia. The two women shrugged and followed the metal crab.

* * *

"What the actual fuck?" Emily's mouth hung agape.

Lúcia grinned. "You say that a lot."

In front of the two women was a metal cylinder, a little less than two meters high and half a meter in diameter. It was clad in a mat of woven wildflowers that had been fashioned to look like a short sleeve Hawaiian shirt. Sticking out of the arm holes were two antennas. On top of the cylinder was perched a straw hat.

"A scarecrow?" muttered Emily.

Assembled around the cylindrical scarecrow in a semicircle, were hundreds of metal crabs. Each one held the upturned head of a flower in its pincer. Occasionally one of the crabs would tilt the flower head and touch it to where its mouth might be.

"Hello, darlings. We're having tea," said a voice from the cylinder. "Care to join us?"

Lúcia clapped her hands together rapidly.

Several crabs directly in front of the scarecrow parted, and Lúcia, smiling broadly, stepped forward to sit cross-legged in their wake.

"What the actual fuck?" repeated Emily.

Lúcia giggled.

A dozen more crabs vacated their position in front of the scarecrow. Lúcia patted the ground next to her.

Emily shook her head as she walked over. Two metal crabs came skittering by with an extra pair of flower heads.

"Thank you," said Lúcia, bowing her head as she accepted the gift. She brought the pretend cup to her lips and tilted it. "Delicious."

"We play this game all the time," said the metal scarecrow. "It's one of her favorites."

"I can see why," said Lúcia. Again, she brought the flower head to her lips, this time making noisy slurping sounds."

"It's not too hot is it?" asked the scarecrow.

"Not at all," said Lúcia. "Just right."

"What the actual fuck?" said Emily, shaking her head.

"Aw, shit," hollered Jade in the distance.

Lúcia and Emily turned toward the sound. About a kilometer up the curvature of the space station's hull, where the ground was covered in tall grass, the sky overhead had filled with billowy clouds. The air below shimmered in mist.

"Relax," said Amaliya's far away voice. "It's just water. Feels good."

"We have our own weather here," said the scarecrow. "As your friends have discovered.

"See the long tube overhead? Don't look to closely, you'll hurt your eyes. That tube distributes sunlight collected by the station's parabolic mirror. I'm sure you must have seen the mirror when you docked. Looks like a big silver punch bowl tacked on the end of the station.

"The light from the distant sun is focused and concentrated by the mirror. Some of it is used for power. Some passes down the tube as daylight for the plants. The tube rotates to distribute equal light and darkness. Of course this causes uneven amounts of atmospheric heat and that causes the air to form areas of high pressure on the day side. Together with the low pressure on the night side...