LONG AND WINDING ROADS
Kelly met Jodie at a pub in Ringwood and after discovering that Jodie's friend, Scott is just a boarder the two become better acquainted. Kelly has opened her own tattoo parlour after doing a government retraining course. Jodie is an accountant and she proposes a deal. She will do Kelly's books if Kelly will do some tattoos, a deal Kelly agrees to because she is attracted to the older woman. A few days after the session, Jodie asks Kelly to take her on a bike ride. It causes Kelly to get her hair done in an attempt to look her best.
Now as previously mentioned, I'd taken a bit of time over my wardrobe that morning although not nearly as much time as I took getting the bike ready but I considered myself well dressed enough to meet Jodie. I was wearing a white shirt with a mandarin collar under a black jumper, I was also wearing full leathers, jacket, pants and boots. I thought the white shirt was a fashionable touch, I'd picked it up at a second hand clothes store in Bayswater the day before.
However I paled into insignificance. I've always had a thing for white shirts, but Jodie's was fairly distinctive. The paired buttons were diagonally opposite so that to take it all in your eyes were forced to move back and forth all the way down. It was open to the second pair of buttons. The shirt was tucked into black Levis adorned with a black belt and gold Live to Ride buckle. Her black suede boots came halfway up her calves and were adorned with fringes and buckles.
"Nice boots," I managed.
"Thank you," she had a piece of toast in her hand, "nice hair," she reached out with her other hand and flicked at my hair, "where'd you get it done?"
"The one in Mountain Gate."
"Deirdre's studio?"
"Yeah," I looked at her.
"I do her books," she stepped back, "come on in, welcome to my parlour, again."
The lunch consisted of pasties and a side salad, washed down with Coke. We chatted a little about our week. She'd even been working on Saturday.
"Much to my disgust but thank God it was only three hours and then I was off to the gym," she pinched her sides, "I'm planning on losing weight."
"I didn't know you had any to lose," I replied.
"They love my tattoo," she straightened up, "I think every man was looking at my back and here was me trying my best to work on my crunches. You'll have some extra work coming your way soon enough, I gave a couple of your cards out and pinned one to the notice board."
"Thanks," I replied, "hopefully they'll notice it."
"Oh they will," she smiled slyly, "the men noticed me pinning it to the board and two women took a picture of it for future reference," she drained her Coke.
"Still you don't look like you need to lose weight," I countered.
"I need to get fit enough for my medical," she replied, "I want to join the local C.F.A."
"Oh right," my eyes widened, "good for you, I was thinking of joining a few years back but I baulked when I saw the police disclosure form, I can just imagine their laughter when I write accessory to armed robbery on it."
"It was years ago, you were young and stupid."
"Well there is that as well, I mean I know the local captain well enough but I think it's more that it might get out on social media that a convicted armed robber is now with the C.F.A. That's the problem with being charged as an adult, the record stays with you for years, maybe in a few years time I'll look at it though."
"I could just imagine you in a fire fighter's uniform."
"I can't imagine you in the same uniform," I studied her, "still, it's good you've applied."
"So, are we leaving already?"
"Yeah, let's get cracking."
The ride that afternoon took us into Cockatoo and then back around the southern shores of Cardinia Dam, north through Narre Warren East and back eastwards to the northern shores of the dam and Bobs Park where we stopped for a breather. The park was filled with people gathered around a small lake that is one of Melbourne's favourite swimming holes. The people on the shores were all part of some church group because as we watched, a young woman waded out to a man standing some ten or fifteen feet from the shore. He said something to her and then plunged her beneath the water before pulling her up again to the cheers from the shore.
"Well that's another soul for Jesus," she pinched my elbow, "you look like you've seen a ghost."
An appropriate comment given the sight of another woman on the outskirts of the crowd. I knew Xanthia from a few years ago. She and I were never an item, I was going out with one of her friends and she was going with my ex girlfriend as I explained to Jodie. I'd just finished telling her about it when Xanthia turned and upon seeing me, left the group and made her way over to us.
"Hiya," she grinned, "fancy seeing you here," her eyes flickered to Jodie.
"We're just going for a ride," I replied, "I was surprised to see you here, how long has it been?"
"Four and a half years. I'm a Christian now, I found Jesus a year or so ago."
"That's nice," Jodie smiled, "I didn't know he was lost."
I had to look away at that moment because the look on Xanthia's face was bloody priceless, her mouth dropped and she turned red.
"He wasn't lost, I was lost."
"Oh," Jodie took a swig of water, "well, whatever rocks your boat. Have you been baptised yet?"
"Six months ago, it was the most amazing experience of my life, I'm straight now."
"Well good for you," I propped against the bike, "I'm still as bent as a banana and quite enjoying the view from up here but whatever turns you on I guess."
The conversation petered out after and she went back to her church friends.
"I was surprised to see her there," I told Jodie as we prepared to leave, "she was out and out gay when I knew her."
"You never know with some people, maybe she's searching for something, they say God works in mysterious ways."
"Too mysterious for me," I muttered.
Jodie was right however, God does work in mysterious ways because that chance meeting with a 'reformed lesbian' led to a startling revelation back at her place as we sat drinking green tea.
"I kissed a girl once."
"You did?" I looked over the rim of my cup. "When and where?"
"At the Coffin Cheater's clubhouse. I was only going out with Animal for a few weeks before dad stepped in and did his thing, but at this party the guys put up money for me to kiss this straight girl who'd been invited to the party."
"Sounds like a plan."
"To be honest it's one of those things I'm not proud of. One of the things the guys would do if they wanted to see if you had the potential to be a nominee was to give the guy a tongue kiss. If he flinched then he couldn't be one of them, but if he reciprocated then he had potential. This girl was hanging around, much like I was at the time and the guys wanted to see how she'd respond, so I was roped in to kiss her. In hindsight I can see they were also testing me out as well."
"Or maybe they just wanted a laugh or a quick turn on," I grinned, "so, why does it make you feel bad?"
"Because it was designed to humiliate her, she freaked out, the guys laughed and she left shortly afterwards but I felt sorry for her. Linda was a sweet girl, so maybe I did the right thing now I think about it. I was young and stupid, and trying to fit in with the bikie scene."
"I've got no intention of fitting in with the bikie scene," I winced, "some of the club members have started bringing their girlfriends to me for their club tattoo, property of and then the name of the club. I always feel weird doing those tatts. Muzza calls it the slave tattoo because once she's got the tatt there's only one way it comes off and that's with a razor blade."
"Do they still do that?"
"You never hear of it because the women are too scared some pissed off patch member will take a razor to some other part of their anatomy. I've had invites to club parties but I'm always too busy to attend."
"I have had the occasional offer from patch members to do their books," she smiled, "but I always say my books are either too full or if they're really insistent I multiply my highest quote by ten. It usually puts them off," she fluffed out hair, "so, you staying for dinner or not?"
"Sure, I'll phone my nanna just to let her know I won't be home for dinner."
It wasn't the dinner invitation, it was more her whole outlook that night that told me she was starting to warm to me. The dinner was a quick stir fry, chicken with a korma sauce, steamed rice and vegetables, washed down with red wine. She talked quite a lot, mainly about herself, which I appreciated because she had a lot of information about me and I had none about her.
She had two sisters, Roberta and Carla.
"Roberta's two years older than me. She's just gone through a divorce settlement last year, she's a sergeant with Dandenong C.I.B and has two kids, Daniel and Elena. Carla is two years younger and a lawyer, she handles criminal cases so it makes for interesting conversations at family get togethers."
"So your parents have a copper, a lawyer, and an accountant to carry on the family name."
"Something like that. Carla was living with her boyfriend for two years but they broke up when they got engaged, she's got one on the way to some guy she had a one night stand with. She'll be ready to drop in two months so she's looking forward to her maternity leave and I'm looking forward to being an aunty for the third time. I love kids."
Which begged the question. Why didn't she have kids?
"Colin and I were okay at first, I mean we certainly connected on an intellectual level but sexually it just wasn't happening. He would freeze up and say he wasn't in the mood and in the end the only time I got satisfaction was on my own with a dildo or a vibrator. Towards the end we did try to resurrect our dead sex life with toys but I could see it wasn't happening and then he came out and said he'd found someone else. I thought it was some woman at work but it turned out to be a man instead," she managed a crooked smile.
"Which was a relief to discover that it wasn't all my fault."
But since then? She'd kept to herself. Scott was an old school friend who'd lived and worked in Britain and Europe for years before returning to his roots.
"He came in the back door as Colin was leaving by the front door. We went out a few times and then he went over to W.A for six months, came back and moved in with me."
"But you and Scott are just friends?"
"Oh there's people out there say he and I could be together and I get that. We're the best of friends but you know what they say about fucking your friends."
"Sometimes it makes it better."
