Thank you for your patience, this is going to be the last chapter in Callie and Lexie's story. At least for the moment anyway as I have other ideas flying around my head that I want to get on paper before I completely forget them.
As always please comment/get in touch with thoughts, concerns or feedback. I love reading what you all think and it really does make this worth-while!
February 2007 -- Callie
Closing the door to my studio flat I lean against it and stay silent for a moment, my whole body is stiff from the cold outside. But worse than that, I can feel my heart breaking and I can feel my body overcome with loneliness and hurt. I'd stood at the train platform for two hours waiting for her. She wasn't on the train. She wasn't coming. It shouldn't be a surprise seeing as I haven't heard from her in two weeks but despite that a small part of me hoped that she hadn't given up on us yet. Hadn't given up on me. How fucking wrong I was.
Before I can give rational thought a chance I'm throwing the mother of all tantrums, plates and cups go flying across the room to smash against the wall opposite. The small table I have in the kitchen area is flipped over, I'm punching walls, doors, cupboards. I don't know how long this goes on for, but eventually I stop and curl up in a ball on my bed and cry. I cry until I have no tears left to shed, even then I sob loudly. Wailing long into the night until I eventually fall asleep hurt, alone and sore.
This was the start of my slippery slope the next few days pass in an alcohol fueled blur, I vaguely remember going to the shop and picking up a bottle of scotch. When I woke this morning I realised I must've returned as there's three empty scotch bottles on my kitchen surface joined by several empty beer cans. My head feels foggy, and I have a taste in my mouth that I can only imagine is what you get if you've been chewing sawdust for three days.
I lie on my back in bed, dressed just in my underwear staring at the blank ceiling above. My head pounds as the same thoughts repeat in my head, making me feel worse and more rejected with each passing second. She left me, she just gave up and cut me out of her life without so much as a word. All that talk about loving me no matter what happens, that she'll fight to be with me and she wasn't going to give up. For what? For her to give up anyway and without so much as a fucking word? Did I mean that little to her? You know what? Fuck this. Fuck her. I hate her. I literally feel my body ache at that thought as I reject the thought. No, I don't hate her. Even now, even after everything, I don't think I'll ever hate her.
But I'm angry at her, angry that she didn't think I deserved an explanation. I can feel my eyes burning with unshed tears "no." I say out loud to myself. "No more tears Jenkins. Get up, get dressed and go to work."
I go through the whole rigmarole of getting up, getting showered, getting dressed in my customary dress shirt and black jeans for work. Since starting university I work as a part time supervisor in a local bar during term times. I don't really need the money, but it keeps me busy and right now I'm pleased for the distraction. Once I'm dressed I pull my hair back into a loose braid and tidy the flat quickly before leaving and heading down to the tube. Usually I'd listen to music but my iPod is full of songs that remind me of the love I've lost and I don't want to be reminded of that right now.
The tube journey is short and brief and before I can think much more about the woman I'm pining for I'm making my way through the crowds of commuters to work until I'm standing in front of the heavy front doors. With an audible sigh I fish my keys out of my messenger bag and push open the doors and lock them behind me.
Setting up the bar is easy enough, I've done it so many times I fly through it quickly. Following the steps, not allowing myself to think of... her. I can't even bear to think of her name. No, if this is how she wants it I'll just forget all about it, move on, and there's one way I know how. After all, they do say the best way to get over one woman is to get under another and I never had any issues with getting girls before. That's exactly what I need to get past this whole Lexie debacle, some meaningless sex. In fact lots of it, and I know just where I can start.
By the time we've opened my team for the day have arrived, Gary and Mel. Both of them are students like me, except they're in their first year where I'm in my second. Both of them work hard and both have expressed an interest in me. I've made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't interested, that I had an amazing girl back at home and she was all I could ever want. I wince inwardly at that thought, forget it Callie, she isn't coming back. I'm leaning against the back of the bar watching the news on one of the T.V's on the wall opposite. My arms crossed across my chest, I need to get this frustration out before I drive myself mad. At that thought I let my eyes leave the screen in front of me and they find Mel bent down at one of the shelves picking a glass to pour a beer for the customer she's serving. I can't deny the fact that the girls got a fabulous arse, in fact she's got a lot of features that are incredible. Curves in all the ways a girl should have, long, lithe legs, thick blonde hair and clear blue eyes. She's the opposite of Lexie in every way, yeah she's exactly what I need to get past her and move on.
I wait until she's finished with the guy she's serving before making my move, I step so I'm close but not touching, but close enough that I can smell her perfume. It's sweet, sickly almost but not unpleasant. "Hey, so I have some stuff I need to go over with you in the office at some point today. Is that ok?" I catch her eyes as they meet mine and I quirk an eyebrow, I watch as her breath catches in her throat and she breathes a little quicker. It's not the first time she's reacted to me like this but it's the first time I'm going to do something about it.
"Er yeah sure. Is everything ok Callie?" I flash her one of my best smiles, one I know a lot of women love and it has the desired effect, her face flushes and the speed of her breathing increases. Holy shit, this is too easy. I feel bad for a moment, but that moments short lived when my eyes dart down to her cleavage and I grin.
"Oh everything's great Mel. Come with me." I touch the small of her back and guide her towards the end of the bar, pausing only long enough to tell Gary we're going to be gone for a few minutes so he needs to watch the bar. I don't wait for her to catch up as I walk quickly through the bar, I know if I slow down or stop now I'm going to change my mind about this and I can't do that.
When we finally reach the office she pauses just inside the doorway, I glance up at her and notice the slightly nervous expression she has on her face. I can't help but roll my eyes before grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards me, I pull her body flush against mine as I reach around her to close the door. "Callie, what are you doing?"
I don't say anything, I have nothing to say so I do something I know is stupid and reckless and feels all kinds of wrong. I kiss her. There's nothing romantic in this kiss, nothing special, no magical connection. It's just a way to get her to stop talking, to stop thinking about anything but what we're about to do.
Our lips move together for a while, I slide my tongue into her mouth and she reciprocates with a surprising fearlessness that's a little hot. Eventually though I pull away and look at her "you want this don't you? You've wanted this for a while." She doesn't respond, she just nods. I can't fight the little grin that forms on my face when I see how breathless she is, shit. If she's like that after a kiss what's she going to be like after I've fucked her senseless? "Good, I want you to turn around and face the door."
I watch as she hesitates for a moment but she does as she's told and turns away from me slowly. "Good girl, hands against the door and move your legs apart." She follows my instruction and I just stand and watch for a moment, this is too easy. A few words, a look and she's putty in my hands.
