“Are there clouds out today, Samantha?” my girlfriend, Susy, asked.
“Yes, there are lots of them. And the sky is pure blue…its very beautiful out.”
“Yes, I can feel it,” she replied.
Susy had lost her eyesight about a year ago in a car accident. Unable to continue living on her own, she came to live with me so I could take care of her. We had been best friends for several years, but in the past year we had become more than that. Neither of us had any lesbian or bisexual tendencies, but somewhere in between the many days spent by her side and the many mornings spent lying in bed holding her, we discovered our new feelings for each other and tried to accept them. Alone, we would hold each other and kiss, much like any other couple in love. But in public, it was harder than that, for neither of us were really prepared for the negative attitudes and ignorance regarding our relationship. Nevertheless, Susy would still hold onto me closely and tell me she loved me while we walked through the city.
As long as I knew her, Susy always loved going to the park. She adored sitting under one of the big oak trees and look up at the sky. Now that she was blind, I’d still take her to the park, but now I would describe the scenery to her, letting her imagination take over. She still had vivid memories of the park, so it was a little easier to describe than most places I’d take her to. I’d put my arms around her as we sat under a tree, and she’d look up just as if she could see everything I was describing to her.
“A robin just flew by,” I said. “He just landed on a tree branch ahead of us.”
“How far away?” she asked.
“About fifteen feet,” I replied. “You know the three trees right in a row…near the little stream?”
“Yes, and the one in the middle is the smallest…”
“Exactly. The bird just landed on the lowest branch on the middle one.”
“Which tree are we sitting at?” she asked.
“We’re at the right one…if you’re looking at the trees from the bench, we’re at the one to the right.”
“Lovely…” she sighed. She lifted her head up towards me and reached for my face. “Are you looking at me?” she asked.
“Yes, dear.”
Her fingers ran across my chin and up to my lips, then she leaned up and softly kissed me. I was taken aback, for we had never before kissed in public. But once I felt her lips touch mine, all my inhibitions disappeared; we had just reached a new level of our relationship, a place where our feelings for each other transcended everything and everyone, a place where we could kiss and not worry about what other people thought. All that mattered was that we were together and that we were in love.
After breaking the kiss, Susy leaned back and pulled my face closer to hers. “Let’s go home,” she said. “I have a surprise for you.”
We both stood up and walked arm in arm back to our apartment. Once we got inside the doorway, she pulled me over to the piano in the corner. Susy leaned down and reached for the bench that sat in front of the piano while I put our coats in the closet.
“Come here, sit next to me,” she said. I walked over to her and sat next to her on the bench, putting my arm around her waist. Susy was a phenomenal piano player, but once she had her accident, she refused to play anymore. Despite my constant pleading and encouragement, she felt that she could no longer play the piano.
“Let’s see if you recognize this,” she said, and her long fingers began to move across the keys. Tears welled up in my eyes as I heard the tune she was playing, the theme to Two for the Road. I just stared at her, amazed at how well she played. When she was done, she turned her head towards where I was sitting and smiled. “How was it?” she asked, grinning.
I tried to respond, but the tears got caught in my throat. “Susy,” I said.
“Are you crying?” she asked. She raised her hand up to my face and felt the tears, then gently wiped them from my eyes and leaned down to rest her head on my shoulder. “Do you remember what you would say whenever I’d play that song, or if we heard it when we watched the movie?” she asked. “You said that this song would be the song that would play at your wedding. It would be symbolic…letting him know that you were ready to go through life with him by your side,” she said. She leaned back and put her hand up against my cheek, focusing her eyes towards my face. “Well, darling, this isn’t our wedding, but I’m truly in love with you and I want you by my side. I can’t live without you, and I hope that I will never have to. Here,” she said, reaching down under the piano. She pulled up a dozen pink roses and handed them to me. “I made sure that they were pink…I had a few people help me. They didn’t trick me, did they?” she said, laughing.
“No dear,” I said, fighting back the tears. “No, they are beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I love you.” I pulled her closer to me and kissed her softly, trying to convey everything I was feeling into that one kiss.
“Take me to the bedroom,” she whispered.
“Are you sure?” I asked, making sure that she was prepared for what would happen. We had never made love before, nor had we ever really discussed it. She once told me that making love shouldn’t be something that you would plan for; it should be something that would be felt in the right moment. When Susy nodded yes, I was sure that this was our moment, our chance to prove our love for one another.
I stood up and took her arm and led her down the hall to the bedroom. Susy stood by the corner of the bed while I closed the blinds and shut the curtains. I walked over to her, not really sure how to initiate the lovemaking. I placed one hand on her arm and another on her cheek. I leaned in and kissed her supple lips, then moved down and kissed her neck. I pulled back and looked at her, amazed at how beautiful she was. I kissed her forehead and put my hands at the bottom of her sweater, then began to pull up on it. She raised her arms, allowing me to completely remove the sweater. Our lips met once more and our tongues touched as I reached down and unbuttoned her jeans. Her arms reached up and wrapped around my neck, then she moved her hands down until she found the buttons on my shirt. She slowly unbuttoned each button until my shirt was open, and then she gently slid it off of me and let it fall to the floor.
Subsequently, I had unzipped her jeans and pushed them down, letting them fall around her ankles. I broke the kiss long enough to let her step out of them, holding onto me as she did so. She leaned down and pulled her socks off, leaving her left in nothing but her bra and panties. Alternatively, she too had opened up my jeans and let them fall to the floor. Her hands roamed up my back and unhooked my bra, then slowly pulled it off of my body. She let her head fall down to my shoulder, where she kissed her way down to my collarbone. She slid her hands down to my panties and pulled them down, prompting me to pull them off all the way.