"It's not my fault she was psycho, Megs," I griped while my best friend and I shopped at a cute little farmer's market we happened to pass by.
"I'm starting to wonder!" She looked over the grapes as she shouted at me. "You somehow find these women whose first and foremost priority is to grate your heart into a bloody, pulpy mess. I wonder if it's your fault that you look for them."
I harrumphed. "Women are the devil."
"No. Just the coven you keep running into, apparently." She quipped back so easily. I was spending the day with her after I broke it off with my most recent girlfriend, Claire.
"Hardy-har-har." I squeezed an orange grapefruit as I caught sight of a girl's face across the long produce bin in front of me. Her little button nose sloped onto plump high cheeks. Her hair was so black, it was almost blue, so her stark bangs and fair skin was a gorgeous mix. Her eyes glowed a grey-blue. I was suddenly very distracted.
I desperately wanted to hear what she was saying that made her mouth move like that. I strained to hear her words. In Spanish, as it turned out.
"--
quiero alguien que no le importe que yo tenga mi trabajo y mis amigos. Que le guste pasar tiempo conmigo pero también le guste tener su propio espacio.
" Her speech was delicious -- it flowed from her mouth like sweet water over earthy-smelling rocks. She shook a coconut lightly, then put it in her basket. She turned away from me, then I could see her ass. It was round and poured into her jeans perfectly. She moved in a way that very clearly stated she knew she had a nice figure -- swaying to her own rhythm.
Bubbley-bubble bubbles...
I couldn't think anymore, then the side of my hip crashed into a wooden crate at that height.
"Ow!" I crouched down in pain.
"Jace!" My friend shouted. I gestured to her I was fine though my eyes still watered in pain. "What the
hell
is wrong with you? Why can't you talk?"
"Shut up!" I hissed, then straightened up to look at the pretty girl and her friend staring straight at me. I smiled at them, then held up the grapefruit I'd taken. "Good grapefruits, eh? Good season." I sniffed the citrus as they looked at me.
"Good to know!" They giggled before turning back to their conversation. I smiled as I walked closer to them, though there was still the produce shelves between us. Their accent was adorable.
"Jace?" My friend called out to me.
"Yeah?"
"
Claire?
" She prompted.
"Who dat?" I asked while I tried to listen at the girl's conversation discreetly.
"Your girlfriend up until yesterday night." She answered, wholly serious.
"Ah, that one." My brain twitched at the thought of Claire. We weren't meant to be together, especially after she shouted at me for an hour after I smiled at a barista in a new coffee shop. I wanted to wipe the nasty things she'd said to me from my memory, and the way she'd cornered me into a little ball in my own kitchen.
I heard another snippet from the pretty girl. "I wish he would be quiet and listen for once. Just refuse to leave my side until after we've spoken." Her eyes went up to me, so I started juggling three tomatoes. She giggled, and I waggled my tongue out. A tomato fell on the floor, then a woman screamed at me.
"Oy! You buy the food, you eat the food! You no throw the food!"
"I'm sorry! I'll pay for it!"
"That's right, 'you'll pay for it!'"
The girl's giggles shot up into wheezes. I looked at her dumbly while she stifled her laugh into her long sleeves.
Meg suddenly forced my head to meet her eyes. "Jace! Jace! Listen to me!"
"Yep? Yeah?" My eyes drifted nonetheless to the right.
"JACE! Babe, you need to slow down! You were talking about possibly committing yourself to holy matrimony to Claire not even a couple of weeks ago!"
"Dodged that bullet!" I said nonchalantly while I heard the girl's tinkling laughter.
"You need to sit down, process what happened, have yourself a little cry if you need -- JACE! Jace,
fucking
--"
I sprinted towards the register to intercept them. I grabbed a sad looking potato from a bin on the way to bulk up my purchases.
The cashier rang me up. "Hello, welcome to The Farmer's Basket. We hope you found what you were looking for."
"Yeah, thanks."
Pretty Girl kept speaking at the register next to me. "Someone I can party with, but also someone warm and squishy on my couch so I can watch Dateline."
I smirked to myself.
The cashier caught my attention again. "--hopefully you'll be very happy with your two tomatoes, grapefruit, and one potato."
"Huh? Yeah, thank you. Oh! Three tomatoes, please." I pointed at the total.
"I only see two..."
"I dropped one, sorry."
"Ah!" She adjusted the total.
"Listen, I don't wanna rush you, but can we move on, please?" My eyes darted at the bags next door getting packed.
"Yes. I'd hate to keep you away from your culinary masterpiece."
My leg rattled nervously.
"Thank you for shopping with--"
"Yeah! Thanks!" I rushed past the crowd, then neared the girl. "Hi!"
Her cheeks popped up round and pink. She linked arms with her friend. "Hello."
"I'd really like you." I stated. My hand was halfway to them, but then slipped into my hair out of nervousness.
"Huh?" She frowned at me.
"Yeah." I was so happy she stopped to look at me. "I'd like you so damn much, I would want to be with you, ALL the time, but, also, I would respect your alone time, or if you wanted to go out with your friends by yourself. I'd definitely support your career, as well."
Her mouth pulled to one side in amusement as she raised an eyebrow in challenge. I could feel my pulse in my ears, my palms were clammy.
"I'm a very good listener!" I kept up my oral résumé for her. "I'd party with you. You wanna go dancing? I'll go dancing with you! You wanna stay in? Look!" I raised my shirt and poked at my skin. I'd been working out regularly, but I hoped I was still able to check off this box, too. I dug my other index finger into my cheek. She smiled incredulously at me. "Look! I'm squishy enough to sit on for your shows!" She barked out a laugh as she leaned on her friend. "I check off all the boxes, right?" I neared her tentatively with open arms and a sheepish smile.
"Almost!" She smiled back.
I matched her soft energy, "tell me, please?"
Her finger crooked in my direction to beckon me forward. I scrambled to stand in front of her. She grabbed the front of my T-Shirt to pull me into her space.
"Mm. Hi." She whispered in my ear.
"Yes."
"You do -- check ALL my boxes..." her lips grazed the soft shell of my ear.
"Heurgh..." I gurgled somehow.
"But... you're missing something."
"What?"
She gripped my hair to put my face in front of hers.
"A dick!" She licked up my face, leaving her spit in a line. I could feel the cold air that meant she was gone; as my cheek dripped with her spit, my face split into a giant grin.
Fuck yeah! This is my kind of woman.
I saw her skipping to her car, then panicked.
"Wait!" I chased after her as I wiped her spit off my face.
"Jace! Stop embarrassing me!" My friend trailed after me.
"Just wait a SECOND! Wait! Wait!" I got to the passenger seat, but was suddenly speechless. Her friend was behind the wheel, and I was leaning over the passenger door.
I gestured so she'd come closer. She smirked, then flipped her hair over before she neared me. Her ear was in front of me, and though I wasn't sure if I could keep it private from her friend, bit the bullet, then said "That's not a problem! I got four dicks. Since I bought them, they're technically mine. Give me a chance."
I pulled back so I could look at her. Meg approached me as I looked down at her.
"Jace. We gotta go."
"Yeah. Hold on." My eyes were zeroed in on hers.
She broke eye contact, then shrugged impassively, fidgeting with the glove compartment inside the car.
"Yeah?" I asked happily. I patted my pockets and panicked yet again. One of my cards was shoved at me by Meg. "Yes. Thank you." I held my business card to her.
I made intense eye contact with her. She took the card with a little grin.
I spoke with more confidence then. "Call me if something as inconsequential as gender isn't an issue anymore, and I'll take you out."
"Do you think so?" She asked pensively.
"What?"
"You think gender is inconsequential?"
"Er -- well, to this situation, yes, I think so."
"What if I was a boy? Would you still chase after me?"
"Well, no." I confessed.
"Interesting... Nice to meet you -- Jacinda Sable." Her dark blue eyes bore into mine.
"You too! Call me Jace. What's your name?"
