Looking back, I should have fucking known. Liz was always a bit loud, a little forceful, and we mostly stayed away from her; she drew attention, and my crowd and I don't really like attention. We were the Mouse Club on campus. We huddled together in the cafeteria and in the library, each of us an impenetrable wall of geek no man might penetrate. Liz was different; she was too loud and outgoing to be in the Mouse Club but we knew her and liked her, and she and I worked at the same mall. I spent enough time with her to call her a friend, and an honorary member of the Club. But we would never have guessed that she was gay had she not told us herself.
Her revelation dumbfounded us all and made us all see her in a different way, not least me; I had eaten lunch with her at the mall more times than could be remembered. When she had told us, my mind had immediately pictured that which could not be avoided: myself engaged in sex with Liz. And to my surprise, there was no revulsion, just a creeping warmth between my thighs. I knew I could never tell anyone of this, but that night, with my fingers in my pussy, I thought of her, and I moaned her name when I came. I whimpered it as I licked my wet fingers, pretending that it was her taste on my fingers, that she was watching me lick my own fingers that I had just pulled out of her.
So, yes, her outing did affect me. It made me aware of her in an entirely new way. And it made me realize I was--gasp--infatuated with her. I knew her to be someone brash and daring enough to amuse me without all the insecurities men bring with them, and as a touchstone for new appetites I'd never had before, or just never admitted to even to myself.
"Hey, Liz?" I asked her on December 19th. Aren't you going to Chris's party with everyone else?"
She eyed me for a moment. "Why aren't you?" she asked.
I was embarrassed. "I asked you first," I told her lamely.
Liz came and sat next to me, a bit close but I didn't mind. "It's gonna suck anyway," she told me, smiling. "Don't feel bad, no-one got invited, they just..." She broke off; she couldn't lie.
I laughed. "I don't feel bad at all," I told her. "It's a bunch of frat boys doing a bunch of drugs again. Next week they'll have an after-Christmas party, and what'll it be, frat boys and coke aGAIN?"
Liz laughed; she put her hand on mine and leaned close. I was waiting for the kiss, for her lips on mine--maybe her tongue in my mouth. Maybe she'd let me lick her pussy--
But she pulled her hand back suddenly, with a sheepish look.
I caught my breath and pulled my heart up out of my shoe. "What's your big plan tonight?"
"Job interview," she told me with a quick grin. "Wanna be an elf? C'mon."
Being an elf sucks.
I signed on for a little extra money and found myself a full-time elf, working noon to nine all week. Elves were expected to keep the brats amused while Mom and Dad go forth and squander their wealth on gifts. We had to clean up after them if they dropped something or vomited--it happened; I had to clean it--and we had to clean up the whole North Pole at night. My elation in knowing I was going to be working with Liz soon faded; most of the time we couldn't even see each other and our lunches and breaks were never the same. I went home tired every night, went to class tired the next day and did it again until I was a ball of exhaustion. I rode there and back with Liz, and she kept telling me to lighten up because I was so quiet. But I was trying to get up the nerve to tell her I was attracted to her.
The 24th is not the busiest night of the year for an elf. The 24th is mostly men trying to get everything bought before the zero hour. So the line was not too large when the power failed.
Kids started screaming. I couldn't see them but I could hear them. Santa saved the day, bellowing "Ho ho ho! Here we go!" to the kids. They followed, sheeplike.
I was already moving toward the exit when a hand caught mine. "Melanie?"
"Liz," I said, and I knew I sounded relieved; she was the best person to have caught my hand just then. She let go of my hand but I held hers; I couldn't bring myself to let it go and she didn't try to get free.
I held her hand for a long moment, then I heard her speak low. " I don't know if you're just afraid of dark, but please don't hate me for this." And then her lips were on mine.