Skirt Length Theory

The Legal Department

My office has a view which overlooks the city. At this time of day, I should be having a short break, but the financial industry is at risk of failure and we're in constant communication with the FDIC to ensure our bank's stability.

Stephanie is pacing around in my office. She still hasn't said what she wants, which makes me nervous. The woman is a corporate powerhouse who regularly appears on business networks and podcasts. She's practically an influencer at this point with a big social media following.

Finally she sits in front of my desk.

"It's nasty out there," she says. "The banking world has always been cutthroat but this is insane. I'm honestly impressed by how rotten people can be."

"Tell me about it. I've never been so stressed."

"Which brings me to my point. I need a favor. Legal advice."

"Personal or business?"

"Corporate."

"At the risk of sounding like a robot, my duty of loyalty is to this bank. My obligations are to the bank."

"I know, I know. But this is sensitive information. A bit personal."

"How personal?" I ask.

"Career ending stuff."

"Give me a ballpark. What are we talking?"

"Sex."

"Jesus. Sexual harassment? Or are you messing around with someone?"

Stephanie shakes her head. "Trust me, you'll want to hear this. I'm asking as a friend."

Everytime she says, 'as a friend,' it's a sneaky reminder that she got me this job. I'm making a solid annual paycheck thanks to her. A couple years ago she pulled a few strings and I went straight to the top of this bank's legal department. Yeah, I'll always be indebted to her and she knows that.

"Alright, let's hear it."

"Have you ever heard of the Skirt Length Theory?"

"Never."

"Well, the Skirt Length Theory suggests that the hems of women's skirts rise and fall alongside stock prices. If women wear short skirts, the economy is doing great. Longer skirts suggest the economy is doing bad."

"That's actually pretty funny."

"It's a gag theory," she says. "There's no evidence which suggests it's a real indicator."

"Yet, you seem so agitated at the moment."

"That's because the Skirt Length Theory has changed my life. This might take a while. If you're busy at the moment, let me know."

"You've piqued my interest."

"Wait until you hear this. The whole thing started when I was promoted to Chief Risk Officer last year. I got a new office, worked on a new floor, and I reported directly to the CFO of all people. To my surprise, that department was run exclusively by women. It was like this secret club."

"You know, I've been to that department a few times. I know what you're talking about."

"Notice anything about their skirts?" she asks.

"Come to think of it, everyone wore skirts"

"It was explained to me when I started working there. How it was an inside joke between the ladies where they'd wear skirts based on economic forecasts and stock performances. I mean, you should have seen the place when stocks were soaring. There were legs for days and it was borderline inappropriate for a corporate environment.

She continues, "One day, I was scheduled for a coffee meeting with the CFO in her office. While I was sitting in the lobby, I saw something that turned my world upside down. The door to her office opened and closed when a colleague was leaving. I had a glimpse inside and saw the CFO naked, it looked like she was in the middle of getting dressed."

"Totally naked? Or changing an outfit?"

"Totally naked. Head to toe. She wasn't even wearing heels. She was barefoot and everything was showing."

"Who knows, she might have spilled coffee on herself. These things happen."

"I considered that possibility," she says. "But the more I thought about it, the clearer the situation was. It was blatantly sexual. My colleague had a certain glow when she walked by, the post-orgasmic kind, and the CFO was so relaxed during our meeting later. Way too relaxed. You know, the whole thing about skirt lengths made sense. The little office game that women played. During the meeting, I remember thinking that I was the biggest fool in the world. That everyone knew except for me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"They were all pantyless beneath their skirts," she says. "Everyone. The only reason I figured that out was because my boss's skirt was perfectly smooth. No panty lines. After the meeting, I discreetly gave visual inspections to the women in my department. Same thing. No panty lines. These smart, talented, ambitious women were walking around with air between their legs."

"Are you sure? You've always been quick to overreact. Let's be honest about that."

Stephanie sits back and shoots me a stern look, but she knows I'm right. She acknowledges my point without saying anything. Then she gives a sly smile, as if she knows a secret. It's the kind of smile girls give each other at school when gossiping.

"I'm very sure," she says. "I learned more when I was called for another private meeting with my boss. The conversation was mundane and my boss asked random personal questions. I realized that she was getting a feel for my personality, seeing if I was the right fit for their private club.

She continues, "I'll paraphrase how my boss explained this to me:

'The work we do is extremely valuable for this institution. The hours are grueling and the stress is often brutal. Women have lost romantic relationships from working here. That's why it's imperative that we take care of each other. We're a team.'

That's basically what the boss said to me.

She continues, "As the implication was slowly sinking in, my boss lifted her skirt while looking me straight in the eyes. She was pantyless. I saw her vagina, cleanly waxed, by the way. And she was wet. It was a seduction and I froze."

"Did you face retaliation because you rejected her advances?" I ask.

"No, I did things for my boss. The truth is, I could make every excuse in the world. I could say that I was harassed, that I succumbed to pressure, or that I feared for my job and career. But the truth was, I did it because I wanted to."

The look in her eyes. Her body language. This is a side of Stephanie that I've never seen before. In all our years of being friends, the topic of sex had never come up. Dating and relationships, yes, but never sex. I've always known that she's ambitious. She's always been open about that. Is she sleeping her way to the top? My god.

"Jesus, that's wild. The CFO has always struck me as being a real bitch. Do people hate working for her?"

"Not exactly."

"I'm listening."

"That department has an interesting dynamic. Women are intimidated by the boss, but they're also crazy turned on. Every woman in the department knows. Everyone comes to the office without panties. I work alongside these smart, talented, amazing women and there's nothing beneath their skirts. Imagine that. Imagine the risk they take everyday.

She continues, "When I was called into my boss's office the following week, the same thing happened. It was under the guise of a work meeting, but she casually hiked her skirt and I saw the same thing. A cleanly waxed vagina that was wet. She expected to be serviced and I did it again. Part of me wanted to explore that world in all its perverted glory.

She continues, "I'd come to learn that it was part of their game, this Skirt Length Theory, whoever has the most accurate stock market forecast gets to visit the boss for a special reward."

I notice Stephanie shifting in her seat and she crosses her legs, rubbing her bare calf with one hand. She's wearing an office skirt, and based on her story, I wonder if she's pantyless. I'm tempted to check for panty lines, but it's too risky.

"Let me interject for a moment. As a lawyer, I want to be clear on this. You gave consensual oral sex to your boss?"

"Yes, and what makes me nervous is that several women have seen it."

"How so?" I ask.

"As I had come to learn, the CFO surrounds herself with like-minded women. Everyone works hard, these are the sharpest minds from the best business schools, with the most accomplished resumes. They also give great oral sex, meaning women-to-women. They'd take turns going to the boss's office to give updates on risk assessments, loan portfolio reports, and they'd get on their knees to perform. Sometimes two women would play with each other while the boss watched. Eventually I learned that the CFO preferred working naked. Apparently it saves time and it's a stress reliever."

"Oh."

My tone sounded judgmental, but it really wasn't. She picks up on that and tries to act polite. She thinks I'm judging her. I'm not. The reality is that I've been close friends with this woman for years and it feels like I barely know her. I'm also stuck in a limbo between my high-paying job and being her friend.

"You must think of me as a terrible slut," she says.

"No, just the opposite. To be honest, I understand."

"Why, because you find my boss to be attractive?"

"You're climbing the corporate ladder. That's what counts."

I dodged her question and I'm hoping she doesn't press me further. Of course I find her boss to be attractive. The chief-financial-officer of this institution is a highly seductive woman and anyone would be lucky to have her.

Stephanie smiles, as if she understands what I'm thinking. She shows mercy by preparing to leave. Hopefully she won't ask about my desires later.

"I know you're busy," she says. "I should be going. But if you could do me a favor, what do you think would happen if people found out about this? I mean, if regulatory agencies go further up our asses, or if we get acquired by another bank, what would happen to my career if people found out?"

"How would people find out?"

"When high-profile jobs start getting axed, jilted people could talk or spread gossip. That's the way it goes."

"And you're worried about your reputation and pension?" I ask.

"That's basically what worries me."

"Fair question. I've drafted countless sexual harassment settlements and non-disclosures for powerful men at this bank. This situation is different. I'll have to do some research and I'll let you know soon."

"You're a lifesaver. How about lunch tomorrow? My treat. Something expensive."

"Sounds like a plan."

When she gets up to leave, we smile and hug, and I give a cursory inspection of her office skirt when she walks to the door, examining the sway of her hips. Exactly as I had expected. This confirms the crux of her story.

No panties underneath.

Stephanie's Perspective in the Office

Somewhere in the heart of corporate America, there's a naked woman overlooking NYC from her viewpoint. She's surrounded by large windows in her chic office and that's how she does her best work. Being naked on the upper-floor is what helps maintain her confidence. She's a woman in charge of numbers, the Chief Financial Officer, my boss.

I'm summoned to her office as the banking system is facing a domino effect and the stock market has become wildly unpredictable. The government is on the verge of stepping in. Needless to say, this impromptu meeting can only be bad news.

The secretary lets me inside the office where Ms. Kalinski sits mostly naked on a black leather chair near the center of the room. She's flipping through her phone while her legs are crossed and there are red stilettos on her feet. She's wearing her blazer, but nothing underneath except for her necklace. I can see her bare hips and the center of her chest. When she moves, a brown nipple is exposed. Erect.

At this hour she scrolls her phone looking at Twitter or reading financial news or politics. She always likes making people wait in front of her while she's in a state like this. There's something about her that makes me want to fall to my knees.

When she finishes reading, she puts her phone on a nearby table, then she takes off her blazer and tosses it aside. It's another thing she often does. It's a power play, being naked. Well, naked except for her red stilettos and necklace. She looks me in the eyes with a straight face and erect nipples. She's testing me to see if I flinch. I don't flinch.

I'm enthralled by what I'm seeing. How many corporate female leaders secretly live a life of naughtiness? As far as I know, Ms. Kalinski is the only one flying at this level. If there are more, it's a closely guarded secret. I'm guessing there are more. It's only logical and the lifestyle choices I've learned from her make sense. These women are hard workers and they need positive outlets like everyone else.

"Would you like a massage?" Ms. Kalinski asks. "The new employee is great at foot massages."

"No thanks, I'm fine."

It makes me wonder who she's talking about. New employee? Who has she turned into her new office pet? There are a few possibilities.

There's an unusual tension in the office as I remain standing and she remains seated. Her legs are closed. She doesn't ask me to get on my knees. She's not looking to get eaten out, at least not yet. This is business but I can still smell the aroma of her horniness.

"Anyway, time is money,' she says. "Let's get to the point. Have you heard any rumors about what's going on with the leadership here?"

"Nothing new compared to last week."

"The Board and key shareholders have decided that they want new leadership. They're allowing me to resign, you know, to spare my reputation."

The news hits me hard, even though I should have expected it. I'm sure there's a mixture of emotions written on my face and Ms. Kalinski can read each one. She's always been able to read my emotions and I've never hidden them from her.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that. For what it's worth, you're a fantastic boss and I've learned so much from working here."

"Don't worry about me, I already have another job lined up. Tell me something, Stephanie, how do you feel about this? And please, be honest. I'll be gone by the end of the week."

There's an expectant look on her face and I'm wondering what her game is. Her confidence is still high and her nipples are erect, so of course there's something on her mind. In all the time we've known each other, she's never asked my opinion on personal matters before.

"If we're being honest, I have mixed emotions."

She smiles, "I appreciate your honesty. What do you enjoy about me leaving? Give me the truth."

"I'll be glad that your power over me will disappear. It's always made me uncomfortable to some degree. Knowing the women in this department are pantyless because of you is unnerving. Being called into your office, knowing you're probably naked, gives me a strange sense of anxiety."

"And what will you miss when I'm gone?"

I pause, then gulp. "You already know."

With great confidence and a strong movement, Ms. Kalinski moves her stilettos apart, digging her heels into the carpet. This spreads her legs wide open. There it is. The ultimate prize for the employees in this department. The reason the employees go pantyless beneath their office skirts. Her cunt is wet and I see glistening fluids which threaten to drip.

"Will you miss this?" she asks.

She taps her clitoris while asking the question.

"A part of me will miss it."

"Which part?"

"Please, don't make me say it."

"Say it, or else I'll fire you."

I gulp, then keep my chin high. "I'll miss licking it. Being on my knees for it."

"Why?"

"Because you're delicious. Because I've heard so many great things about you before I started working here. My mentors used to speak so fondly of you. The first time I saw you naked last year, I understood why. Did you play with them also?"

"I've been eaten out by almost every woman I've ever worked with."

Her comment was so audacious that it makes my knees weak. Her words. The confidence in which she said them. I unequivocally believe that my former mentors were on their knees eating her out. Who wouldn't?

"That's actually believable. You've always been very persuasive."

"Are you persuasive as well?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I have the opportunity to appoint my successor."

"Are you offering me the job?"

"It's between you and someone else. I'm leaning towards you, but I have some reservations."

Her cunt glistens and her nipples remain erect. Whatever is on her mind is something nasty, yet exciting. Only she can invoke such emotions out of me.

"I'm interested in the promotion if you're offering it to me."

"Do you know what my concern is?"

"I have an idea."

"Show me."

I lift my skirt. No panties. Office policy.

"Excellent," she says. "The truth is, I think you're supremely qualified to become the next CFO here. You're a natural leader, people respect you, and you're cool under pressure. That's what this place needs during a bear market, someone cool."

"But?"

"But I worry for the women in this department. They're loyal, they work extremely hard. They've done nothing wrong, nothing which contributed to this crisis. They deserve a boss who appreciates them and rewards their good deeds."

"I'm assuming you want me to continue the tradition. I want the job, I can do the work, but what you're asking is daunting."

"Do you love working here?"

"Yes, absolutely," I say.

"And what about the people you work with? Do you love them, too?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then you have to consider a few things. It's a different world. In order to attract top talent, it's necessary to break a few rules. That's why the CEO has always approved of my behavior. I get things done, I get results. Training you will be a gradual process, but we have to start somewhere."

Ms. Kalinski stands and walks naked to the door in her stilettos. With a level of boldness I've never seen from her before, she opens the door and speaks with the secretary outside. I'm so in awe of her confidence that I don't listen to what she's saying. I marvel at her beauty.

The door is still open when the boss comes back and approaches me. We're about the same height with the same frame, but she has the aura of someone twice my size.

"Would you like your pussy eaten?" she asks.

"That feels like more of a statement, rather than a question."

"As I've mentioned, the women who work in this department have grown accustomed to a few things. I intend to keep it that way."

In walks a young woman named Cynthia, a young 28 year old analyst, someone who I've helped train and feel at ease with. She wears thick glasses and her body language has always been shy. She wears a formal blouse and office jacket, but her skirt is narrow and tight, riding up her thighs. No panty lines.

This young woman is unfazed by the boss's nudity which suggests she's seen this before. The boss is unfazed by standing naked like this, while the door is still open.

"Please, not her," I say.

My voice is soft and sympathetic while looking at Cynthia.

"Why?" the boss asks.

"I trained her."

"So have I, but in a much different way. Lift your skirt again."

I lift my skirt and it's the first time Cynthia has seen this side of me, both physically and mentally. It's humiliating but I'm so turned on. I don't look at Cynthia, but I can hear her breathing. I can feel her eyes on me.

The boss calls Cynthia over. The boss undresses my clothes, starting by unbuttoning my blouse. Cynthia helps undress me, too. I've been on my knees in this office several times, but I've never been naked. The thought never crossed my mind, and frankly, I doubt it was something I ever would have agreed to.

Under normal circumstances I would block their hands with my hands, stand up for myself and my dignity and decline their offer. Eating out my boss is one thing, but being naked in front of a new subordinate is a different road.

I want the promotion. That's why I'm doing this. I want her title of CFO to become my title and I want the power and prestige that comes with it. And if I'm truly honest with myself, then I'll admit that my heart is pounding because I've never been so aroused in my life. Knowing my boss, she has dirty things in store for me, which means I'll soon be doing things outside of my comfort zone, and I'll have things done to me in return.