Single Again

I won’t bore you with what led up to it but one afternoon Kevin and I had a really massive row. Sarah, our 12 year old daughter, was staying at a friends for the weekend so we were able to completely let rip and things did get pretty nasty. It ended with me saying “Well fuck off and this time do it for good.” And he did just that.

When he’d gone and I looked at his empty wardrobes and thought of Sarah I felt awful at what lay ahead for I knew this time it was over. Realising the difficulties that I would have to go through with the divorce and being a 33 year old single mother was disturbing but at least I knew there would be no money worries.

I mooched around the house in a daze most afternoon and I felt lonelier than I ever had before. It was a relief then, when one of my neighbours turned up to return a video we had lent them. She appeared shocked when she saw me and I realised that my earlier crying must be apparent.

“God Mandy what’s the matter?” As I went to reply I felt the emotion welling up in me and I began to cry again.

Toni came in and I found myself telling her about what had happened. She was aware of some of our previous difficulties and as she had been supportive before I suddenly found it all pouring out as we sat in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea that she had made. I told her that this time it was almost certainly over. I explained that Sarah was away for the night and gave her a little more information on what had caused this particular squabble, me finding out about yet another of Kevin’s affairs.

She was very understanding and a helpful listener so she was just what I needed at that particular time. Very organised and matter of fact Toni just sort of took over. “Right you’re coming to mine for dinner, Tom and the kids are away, and I think we’ll get well and truly plastered,” she said making me smile for the first time as she added, “go and get yourself bathed and changed and come round when you’re ready.”

An hour or so later I was in her house dressed in a white blouse and black trousers, bathed with my hair washed and I did feel better as she poured me a glass of white wine from a half empty bottle that I suspected she had already drunk. We had steak and salad and yes we did drink a fair amount before going into her lounge and sitting side by side on one of the large sofas drawn up around a blazing wood fire.

We talked and talked becoming slightly more tipsy and open with each other recounting past experiences and affairs that we’d had. Our legs occasionally touched and several times her hand rested on my knee or wrist as she accentuated points but, as is this is quite normal during “girly” chats, I saw nothing untoward with the gestures merely taking them as acts of kindness and affection on her part.

My mood swings, though, were quite volatile. One moment I was laughing and joking about things and then I would find myself becoming weepy again, more at the possible affects this would all have on Sarah than on anything else.

I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday what then happened. I started crying and Toni took me in her arms to soothe me cuddling me to her as she did so. It felt so comfortable and reassuring being in her arms and I just stayed there for some time feeling better and more confident all the time. I can recall her holding me, the smell of her perfume, the feel of her hands on my back, the soothing touch as she stroked my hair and the pressure on my breasts and legs from her body.

Whilst I enjoyed it there were no thoughts whatsoever in my mind of anything sexual and the emotions she was touching were all to do with my state of mind regarding Kevin and Sarah and the spectre of life alone after all these years. That is until she lifted my head up and, looking me in the eye, murmured in a very husky voice.

“In any case, love, who needs men?” Staring straight into my eyes I saw the slight smile on her face as her lips opened and her head started moving towards mine and I knew then that she was about to kiss me. But the movement was so slow as to be almost imperceptible and I guessed she was testing the water. I could move my head and to all intents and purposes nothing untoward would have happened. Or I could stay as I was and accept the advance. The ball was very firmly in my court!!

I have to admit that at that point I felt the stirrings of arousal. But it also made me feel wanted and needed. Reassured and soothed. But I was nervous and I felt somewhat concerned and not a little confused. Thoughts of Sarah and Kevin rushed through my mind, as did memories of Jen and other women I had briefly “known.” My heart was pounding as I must have unconsciously weighed things up. To turn my head and reject her subtle advance or to stay as I was and invite those lips onto mine? To move and not fulfil what my body seemed to be crying out for or to remain looking into her eyes and to undertake a journey into areas of unknown sexuality for me? I’m not sure that I made a decision as opposed to taking the easiest way out. I did nothing. I simply stayed there and Toni made the decision.

Her lips closed on mine and she pulled my body tighter to hers crushing my breasts to her own as her arms encircled my back and her hands became buried in my hair.

It was pure bliss and joy and my body responded to her immediately. I knew this was what I wanted and I suddenly found a calmness that surprised me for now her hand had strayed from my back and was on my side the palm touching the edge of my breast. Her tongue delving into my opened mouth that was eagerly receiving it. I felt as though I was about to explode as her hand cupped my breast and begin to gently caress it. Kissing and licking at my lips she quite rapidly, but not too quickly, moved on by sliding her hand inside my shirt and right onto the flesh on the top of my boobs that was not covered by the bra.

Pushing me back into the corner of the sofa, her eyes not leaving mine for a moment a gentle and loving smile on her face, Toni leant over me and one by one undid the buttons on my shirt. Pulling it apart she gazed at me and muttered.

“Such lovely breasts” as both of her hands fell onto them and began stroking and gently squeezing them all the time gradually easing them out of their restricting cover. As she bared me to her gaze my nipples if anything became even harder. I felt fantastic and so feminine as her eyes roamed across them and as her fingers gently and so knowingly coaxed even more feeling and pleasure from them.

I was on an enormous high as we kissed again and as her hands gained the confidence to more overtly caress my breasts and roll my nipples between her fingers and thumbs. My shirt and bra came off and I sat with her just in my trousers. My emotions welled up and I realised that momentarily I would be naked before her and that after that we would make love. It was almost as if I climaxed and just stayed there. Time ceased to have a meaning. My pulse raced and my heart beat so fast. It seemed wonderfully decadent yet at the same time so natural. So wanton but simultaneously so beautiful.

“Let’s go upstairs,” she whispered taking me by the hand as she added, “come to bed with me Amanda.”

The simple statement said so much and the words crashed into my brain as the enormity of what I was to embark upon finally hit me. She saw that and took me in her arms again whispering reassuring phrases and gently urging me towards the door as she said.

“Amanda I want you so much, I desire you utterly, I have lusted after you for ages. Let me make love to you as you have never been before.” Her hands, as she was saying these things, were so gently and lovingly touching and stroking me with a tenderness I had rarely experienced that all of my reluctance and resistance simply vanished and I knew I was now putty in her hands!

Laid flat on her bed I watched as she reached behind her back and undid the zipper on her dress. It seemed to simply flutter away from her to fall in a bundle around her feet so that she stood before me clad just in her bra and panties both of which were, black, silky and very skimpy. As she moved towards me she shed her bra and I saw her small, very heavily nippled breasts that seemed like magnets to me. At that point in time there was nothing in the world that I wanted more than those two small orbs. Nothing that could match the pleasure that I knew I could gain from them. Nothing that would excite me as much as feeling them, caressing them, touching them and kissing them. I wanted to have sex with her so badly it almost made me cum thinking about it.

We moulded our bodies together as we fell into each other’s arms and we were touching from lips to toes.

We kissed and delved into each other’s throats with our tongues. We pressed our breasts together, me feeling so wonderfully female as my larger, fuller boobs engulfed hers. Our bellies were squashed together and our pubic mounds merged into one, the hairy lumps rubbing on each other. Her hands aroused every part of my body as they travelled from my face and hair, down my back and up my front. As they touched and stroked my breasts, flittered across my tummy, ran up and down my spine and squeezed the cheeks of my bottom through my thin trousers. I squirmed with excitement and pleasure as my nipples were squeezed, then rolled in her fingers and then, eventually, were licked, nibbled and sucked. I clung to her as her teeth, lips, gums and tongue did things to them that surpassed anything they had felt in the past.

Then her hand edged enquiringly down me, moving from my breasts to my chest, onto my tummy and further onto my lower abdomen until it touched the join of my legs and cupped my sex in her hands. Squeezing me through the material she applied the wanted and so wonderful pressure to my clitoris. That erupted with pleasure sending feelings of such intensity through me that I started to cum immediately. She instantly recognised this and, continuing the little circular movements of her fingers right on that magic spot, she cuddled me tightly to her with her other arm so that our breasts were again pressed together the nipples merged into one mass of pink, rubbery sensations.

I shuddered to a rapid and very, very heavy climax in which my breath came in deep pants and I again began to cry at the sheer intensity of the feelings I was experiencing. Through every shudder and spasm Toni was with me thinking nothing of taking and being intent on just one thing, making this the most wonderful experience she could for me. It was so different to be totally the centre of attention with my pleasure being the only agenda item. Different due to the lack of the urgency that precedes a man’s ejaculation. Different due to the gentleness, her knowing ways, her softness and sweet smell and the lack of body hair. The feelings I gained were similar to those with a man but so different in many ways.

Momentarily sated I collapsed in her arms. Sobbing and heaving partly at realising the boundary I had just crossed, partly from the guilt, partly from my emotional state due to my husband having left me just hours before, partly as thoughts of my daughter flooded my mind but mainly from the sheer degree of sexual pleasure that I had just gained.

We lay there for some time Toni softly stroking my hair, lightly touching my breasts and planting small kisses on my cheeks. With me still in my trousers and her in her black panties there was a mood of gentleness combined with expectancy of what was still to come. I had never experienced anything like this for normally men seem to want to get away from the woman almost as soon as he has climaxed. But with Toni that seemed the furthest thing from her mind.

We chatted with her explaining that she had been attracted to women for many years and that now she considered herself to be almost completely bi-sexual for she still enjoyed a very active sex life with her husband. She said she was never unfaithful to him with other men but was with women although she felt that was “different.”

I “owned up” to my modest episodes with Jen and the few other women I’d “known” and felt relieved when she told me that many women that she knew had done things like that and that in her opinion most would given the opportunity. Obviously I took the chance to question her on whether the feelings I had gained with the others, to an extent, and with her, massively, meant that I was becoming lesbian or that I would in the future be likely to become more and more attracted to women. She explained that it doesn’t work like that. Her feelings and those of other bi-sexual girls she knew were sort of compartmentalised and that when with men they were totally straight but then, again, when with women they were quite the opposite.

As we were talking we were touching and cuddling and she was occasionally kissing me and gently licking my face and eyes and lips and neck. Stroking my hair and so softly touching my breasts and tummy I felt so comfortable and relaxed that I quite rapidly reached the conclusion that there could be nothing at all wrong with something as beautiful as this and I began to become a more active participant.

I returned her caresses by running my fingertips across her face and lips and by running my hands through her dark fairly short hair. I trickled them down her neck and across her chest. Plucking up my courage I trailed them across her small breasts and very dark nipples that, as I became more aroused, seemed to take on an almost magnetic attraction. To me they assumed enormous proportions and I felt myself thinking how much I would like to take them into my mouth and suck on them like a baby.

As Toni saw my responses so she also became more active and the mood between us changed to one of increased intensity and passion. We were both now kissing each other on the mouth and our hands were moving across the other’s breasts with more urgency cupping and kneading the soft, pliant and, to me, such, exciting flesh . Toni ever so gently rolled me onto my back and laid on her side her hand fully embracing my boob her finger and thumb rolling the nipple between them. Kissing deeply I felt her hand moving. It came away from the nipple and stroked the underflesh of my right breast, it moved further onto the bottom of my ribcage and kept going until she slid her fingers slightly inside the waist band of my trousers until I could feel her nails on the skin of my belly. She stayed like that for a while her fingers gently rubbing me inside the material gradually pushing them further down until I felt them on the elastic at the waist of my panties. I showed no resistance at all to that very overt gesture.

So, presumably encouraged, she pushed herself up a little and, looking deep into my eyes, she brought both of her hands to my waist. Smiling, she murmured.

“Perhaps we should get rid of these?” She undid the belt and began easing the zip down at the front of my trousers. They were slowly pulled down and I raised my bottom off the bed to help her remove them completely. I lay before her clad merely in my white transparent panties through which I knew my pubic shadow was clearly on view.

“Oh Mandy you are gorgeous” she muttered as her hand, idly almost, trailed across my panties touching me right where the hair begins. It may have been an involuntary caress by her but to me the affect was electrifying for, for the first time, the sheer enormity of what I was about to do hit me. And my God did I want her.

Sensing my need, or more to the point as she explained afterwards my total capitulation, she plunged on now totally confident of my intentions and willingness. And quite rightly so.

In the next few hours I experienced so many new things and sensations and came so many times that my recall of it all is fuzzy. The entire lovemaking session that went on well into the night and restarted in the morning seems to have merged into one memory of sheer bliss, amazing tenderness and incredible excitement. It was as though I had one continual orgasm that rose to crescendos, subsided a little and then soared to even higher levels. It was like being on a roller coaster when you go so steeply down or around that you think that it’s impossible for it to go steeper or tighter only for it to then immediately do so.

Toni started this by kneeling beside me and, whilst staring deep into my eyes, she slowly rolled her panties down over her tummy gradually revealing the soft patch of dark down at the base. I found this to be such a turn on that, without thinking but to her evident pleasure, I did the same and pushed my own panties off lifting my bottom from the bed as I did so.

And then we started what was probably the most exciting single sexual escapade that I have ever experienced.

Lying there on the bed totally naked in another woman’s arms just hours after Kevin had left was both thrilling and exciting. My mind was reeling from the sexual pleasure and the sheer incongruity of leaping from my marital bed into a woman’s arms in such a short time.

But then, when Toni resumed her passionate advances towards me, all such thoughts were banished from my mind and the absolute pursuit of pleasure and satisfaction took me over.

The first amazing feeling was being naked in another woman’s arms. The softness and curves of her body against mine was so different to that of a man as was, of course, the absence of the hardness that presses so enticingly into a girl’s stomach. But the gentleness and the knowingness with which she approached me was the most surprising thing. It seemed as though she could anticipate my every need. When I wanted a tender embrace or a soft caress her hands gently stroked my breasts or softly rubbed the lips of my vulva. As my passion rose and more urgency was required so her arms would hold me tighter, her fingers would press into my flesh, she would pinch my nipples and squeeze joyingly, painfully the softness of my boobs. As I needed relief from the wonderful torment of feelings she built up in me she knew just the moment to plunge her fingers rigid with penetrative probing deep into my insides.

She knew when to bring me off and when to hold me right on the edge. When to kiss me lovingly and treat me with tenderness and when to be rough and act as though I were a whore! Her technique was perfect, at least to my inexperienced opinion. She touched my clitoris with just the right amount of pressure rubbing alongside it from front to back as opposed to right on top as most men do. She stroked me around the outside of my lips rather than poking her fingers roughly inside thus giving me so much more pleasure than normally received from a man’s, inevitable but nonetheless, unfortunate fumblings. And she knew just when I was ready to move from one stage of lesbian lovemaking to the next.

Our earlier efforts, needed though they had been to initiate me, palled into insignificance against what we moved onto during that most fantastic first night of my separation.

Toni loved all, and I do mean all, of my body in ways that it had never been loved before. There didn’t seem to be a part of me that she didn’t touch and caress and from which both she and I didn’t gain sexual pleasure. From stroking my hair and touching my eyebrows and eyelids when my eyes were closed to rubbing the soles of my feet. From caressing the crown of my head and stroking gently on my neck at the base of my hairline to massaging my calf and buttock muscles. She rubbed her body against mine and dangled her nipples against my breasts. Her pubis mound was ground against mine and the lips of her pussy were pressed against the cheeks of my bottom. She intertwined her legs with mine so that the lips of our vulvas were pressed together and she ran her erect and hardened nipple up and down the soaked, pink crack.