Sex Ed

I was consumed by panic as I looked at Kenzie who was in my bed. My heart felt like it was going to fall out of my chest. Flashes of the future raced through my mind: I'd lose my job, get sued by Kenzie's parents, end up in jail, get raped in jail, and when I leave jail I'd have nothing, no one, and I'll be scarred as a sexual predator for the rest of my life. Fuck, I couldn't believe it! Kenzie came into my bed as I was sleeping and...and...it was hardly by any means consensual sex! I was seething with all these thoughts stirring in my head.

"Kenzie, why are you in my bed?!"

"Well, I heard you making noises and I thought you were having a bad dream so..."

"So WHAT?! You don't just climb into bed with your professor!"

"Whoa! What is up your ass?! Once I climbed in you settled down almost immediately." She seemed proud of this fact, her eyes scanned me up and down as I stood there with my hands on my hips in my pajamas.

"Oh, you've

got

to be kidding, Kenzie." I immediately crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I am going to be in so much trouble, I can't friggen believe this is happening."

"What are you talking about, Dr. Lockhart? What trouble? What's happening??" Her expression changed from smug to slight confusion.

"Uhhhh, HELLO? Kenzie, you're in my bed!!" I couldn't believe her, it was certainly not the time to act coy with me. I was furious and terrified. What was she playing at?

"Yeah. So? I've slept in lots of girls' beds. I know when I have nightmares my roommate will climb into bed with me..." Was she seriously trying to justify what she did? Taking advantage of me after a horrible event and then treating it like it's no big deal!

"I don't CARE how many girl's you've slept with, or if you and your roommate fuck every night!! I'm your PROFESSOR and this is absolutely horrible. I'm going to lose my job!"

"Fucking my roommate?! Haha! What are you talking about? I've never fucked my roommate. We just cuddle that's all!!" She was looking at me like I had three heads for making such an absurd accusation.

My head was now pounding with frustration and confusion and perhaps a hit of delirium. Cuddling? Wha-? Kenzie was really acting like she had no idea what I was talking about, or at least she had no idea why I was freaking out.

I stood there, arms still folded looking at her, examining her expression. That smugness had disappeared and now her darling face appeared merciful and empathetic.

"Dr. Lockhart, what is it?" At this point she sat all the way up on her haunches. She was wearing an old t-shirt of mine and her leggings still from the previous day.

She's not naked...in my dream she was naked...how did she get my shirt?

As if she was reading my mind, Kenzie looked down and tugged at the shirt. "Oh, I found this in your laundry room and figured it would be okay to sleep in. Sorry, I should've asked." I was so confused. What the hell was going on?

"So, you went into my laundry room, put on my shirt, heard me and you thought I was having a nightmare?" It wasn't an actual question, I was only trying to puzzle together the events that happened last night.

"Yes." She nodded her head, still sitting upright on her haunches. She looked absolutely angelic in the morning. I couldn't help but notice her subtle yet adorable bags under her eyes, her eyeliner had smudged a bit but she still looked marvelous. The corners of her mouth crooked upwards as she smiled at me. My rage diminished rapidly, I couldn't stay angry forever looking at this gorgeous figure in front of me.

"And then you came in to my room and climbed into my bed." Still putting the pieces together.

Kenzie nodded this time, expecting me to recount all of the details, but she could see I was struggling to find all the missing pieces.

"I climbed into your bed and you settled down instantly. I told you everything was going to be okay and you sighed and went back to sleep."

"That's it? That's all you said?" I clearly had remembered her saying a few other things, or in my dream. I was still so confused, I still needed clarification.

"Yep. You were out like a baby. Good thing too! Your tossing and turning would've kept me up all night!" Kenzie said matter-of-factly.

"And that was all that happened? We just...slept?" Now seeking confirmation that my worst nightmare was in fact not really happening.

"Uhh, yes? Haha! Oh my god, Dr. Lockhart! Do you think we had sex??" She made it sound like that idea was so ridiculous. My feelings were kind of hurt by her tone, but I think I was more embarrassed that she had finally figured out why I was fretting earlier.

"Well, what was I supposed to think by waking up next to you? I mean, I told you to sleep on the couch! There are boundaries, you know." It was hard to remain professional and composed. I felt silly and embarrassed. Most of all, my pride was hurt a little bit.

Was it so hard for her to believe, so inconceivable, that it could've happened?

I didn't understand why she was acting like it was such a ridiculous idea. I felt a slight pain in my chest, probably from the huge blow my pride just took.

"Well, well, well..." Kenzie now had her arms folded in front of her. That smug look returned to her face and her eyes widened with triumph, "Dr. Lockhart, you weren't having a nightmare were you?"

My face was now flushed. I lowered my head and avoided eye contact with the young woman.

"You know what, it's late. You should go, now." I headed for my bedroom door and began twisting the knob. Kenzie had followed my movements and had turned 180° but still remained on her haunches.

"Oh come on, Doc, tell me how I was!"

"Get OUT, Kenzie. Now." This was absolutely mortifying.

You're such an idiot...Kenzie's right, it's absolutely an absurd idea.

"Please, Kenzie. Leave." I couldn't hide my embarrassment, but my rage was returning gradually the longer it took for Kenzie to leave.

If I hadn't freaked out on Kenzie, she would have never known what my dream was about. She would never know that it was the thought of her that put me at ease before I drifted off to sleep. It would've been better that way and I would've kept it as my little secret. I could've handled myself in class and I was doing fine up until this point. Now, I wasn't sure how I was going to stand up in front of that class and maintain my composure. Or even worse, how my private tutoring would go with Kenzie.

She had already proven herself to be a confident girl, and she is definitely aware of her sex appeal. She constantly has the male attention of the classroom, even though she remains quiet most of the time. She was beautiful and I don't blame any of the men in my class for sneaking those quick glances at her. I realized at that point that I, too, stole the same glances at Kenzie but I had rationalized it into something else, like I was hoping to get her to concentrate on the lesson.

Maybe I was blind to my own feelings towards Kenzie. Those awkward moments, sudden jolts of electricity, intense vulnerability, everything had to do with my attraction to Kenzie. And now, Kenzie knew I was attracted to her. She had solved her own puzzle. What was I going to do?

Kenzie remained still for a few moments, looking at me. "Relax, I won't tell anyone." Were the only words she could come up with. Not that they settled my mind at all.

"Kenzie, I'm not going to ask you again." I wasn't looking at her, my eyes were fixated on the wood floor. My voice was stern, I have never heard myself speak that way to someone, and definitely not with a student.

Seconds passed, they felt like hours. If Kenzie didn't leave, I would've because I had to get out of that room. There was so much tension and frustration floating around in the air, it was choking me. I was choking on everything at that point, my words, my emotions, I felt like an idiot.

Finally Kenzie pulled her legs out from underneath her and edged her way off the bed. She pulled my shirt off and dropped it directly in front of me as she stormed out of the room. I could hear the ruffling of her bag, the jingling of her car keys, and ultimately the slam of the door as she left.

*****************************

I let out a huge sigh, which was followed by an onslaught of tears.

What am I going to do?

How are you going to teach tomorrow?

Just kept repeating through my head over and over. What was I going to do? I was so humiliated and my ego was badly bruised. I only had a few minutes of peace before my telephone started to ring.

I cursed under my breath before I sucked in a bunch of air and released it. "Hello?"

"Dr. Lockhart? Hi, this is the President, John Yokel, how are you?" The president of the university was on the other end. He had a very thick New England accent. I had only met him a few times since I began working at the college, but his voice was very unique.

"I'm okay, how about you, President?" I think my tone reflected my whirlwind of emotions that I was feeling at that moment. I definitely didn't sound "okay".

"Please, call me John. I heard about what happened and just so you know, we're are handling it as discreetly as we can. I certainly don't want to make a big fuss and cause you any more distress. George Freeman had a history of complaints, but as you know nothing was ever solid. Unfortunately, I hate to have to fire a tenured professor but he had it coming. I just wanted to ring you and tell you that this does not have any effect on your employment status, and I'll be sure to let the other faculty know that you are not to blame."

Great, so some of the faculty do blame me already...

"I...I don't know what to say, John. I really, haven't had time to process anything."

"I can imagine, I really can. Listen, take a few days off on the university's tab, okay? Go somewhere, a spa or something, see your family. I'll personally see to it that someone covers your classes and we'll come up with something to tell your students."

"I really appreciate that, sir. But..."

"Noooo "buts"! You're not coming back to work for the next 72 hours! That's an order!" John Yokel had done a tour in the military, so he often barked orders both lighthearted and otherwise.

"No, John. I was going to say that a student of mine already knows what happened and I..." I knew Kenzie had promised not to tell, but after the way I yelled at her to leave my house, well, I wouldn't be surprised if she was angry and spilled the details over what happened. I was afraid for how she'd twist the story, or maybe she'd just spread a nasty rumor about me. A million things were going through my mind.

"Ah, right, Kenzie Lee. Well, I'm actually scheduled to meet with her, she is coming in soon to share her knowledge of the events of last night, then we'll come up with a plan. As far as I know, she's been completely cooperative so far and has agreed that handling this discreetly is best." This wasn't exactly comforting.

"Okay, well I trust the school to do their best. If you don't mind I think I'll take you up on your offer. I could really use a break after all this."

"Absolutely, take as much time as you need. And you can always ring my office if you need anything else." I smiled at John's kindness. He had a reputation for being a bit of a hard ass, he had a military background and had a very rugged appearance, his thick Boston accent didn't help either. But for the few times I met with him, he was always very courteous and he even studied my research that I had done in graduate school! When I was hired he said that he hoped my knowledge "would improve student relations and eliminate some of the reckless behavior and attitude towards sex," and I told him that his openness on the subject would help me achieve that.

The conversation was brief after that, we sad our goodbyes and I hung up. I wasn't going to be teaching that day, which was a huge relief because I wasn't sure I could handle it. I've been a victim of sexual harassment before, what woman hasn't, honestly? Afterwards, you feel as though everyone is staring at you like you've got some t-shirt on that says "I'M A VICTIM! LOOK AT ME!"

A few days off were definitely what the doctor ordered. I stayed in my house, had a few movies delivered to my door and ate copious amounts of take out, curry to be exact. It was hard to erase the images of Dr. Freeman's actions out of my brain, and automatically they were followed by Kenzie's actions. Her brave rescue, and then of course, the morning after. In the order of each event, my emotions were like a rollercoaster. First the fear and shock to the point of paralysis, followed by rage and extreme vulnerability, then relief when my hero showed up, and rage again when she invaded my space the morning after.

What the hell was she thinking, that stupid girl! Sure, the fact that she witnessed my assault and came to my aid, but she was still my student! There are boundaries! Just because she stopped George's advances from proceeding any further doesn't mean she gets a one-way ticket to my bed. I couldn't begin to treat her differently, especially if I wanted things to go back to normal. I yearned for normal, I needed things the way they were because I had finally made progress with her after our first study session.

I got into the bath, a nice and bubbly bath. The moment the hot, sudsy water hit my skin all the stress and racing thoughts dissipated and I sank down as far as I could. I held my breath and dunked my head under the water and I stayed there for several seconds. That was all it took. Seconds. Seconds passed and the same thoughts and feelings rushed through my mind and body all over again. When I came up for air, I was so frustrated I slammed my fists into the water and folded my arms across my chest.

Fuck. Kenzie knew what she was doing, coming into my bed to "check up on me". Yeah-friggen-right. She had teased me in my office, she's a bright girl, she knows what she's doing. She's probably reveling in the fact she had me so wound up. She was playing dumb, but she knew she crossed the line.

I had myself convinced that Kenzie had everything planned, it didn't make much sense as to why at first, but it was all planned. Saving me, driving me home, staying the night, sleeping in my bed. The only thing that I still doubted was whether my dream was really a dream, or if it had happened. Kenzie seemed stunned at her realization that I was dreaming about her, but if the night before was all planned, the sex had to have been part of it. What else could she want from me?

The sex, on the other hand, real or imaginary, was great. As dirty as it made me feel to think about it, I really did enjoy myself no matter how much my brain fought my body. Subconsciously, my hands began tracing the same path that Kenzie's did. I recalled her feather-light strokes on my arm and collar bone. Her soft, supple lips on my neck and my ear lobe. Her rough handling of my aroused nipple. The same burning in between my legs ached for her soft touch. In the bath, I began touching myself slowly and erotically, in the same way as Kenzie did. The way that soothed me, but also brought me closer and closer to take off. I couldn't stop myself from masturbating with Kenzie's soothing words repeating in my mind, the orgasm hit me in waves and I soon went back to relaxing in the bath. The relaxing didn't last terribly long as reality hit me; I was lusting for a student, and I felt like such a pervert.

********************************

My time away from school was definitely needed. Coming back I had a mixture of emotions, nervousness and anxiety, but also anticipation to get back to teaching. I really loved my job despite what had happened with George Freeman. As I entered the building, I was immediately welcomed back by the rest of my department. I half expected them to behave rudely towards me for getting a veteran professor fired, but they were really nice and comforting. This was a huge relief that they didn't hate me.

With the first obstacle behind me, I then had to prepare for my class. I had a substitute giving them reading to do and a writing assignment, but I figured I would have to revisit the chapter with the notes that I had on my flashcards. I knew they would have questions about my absence, questions about the reading and the assignment, but I was more worried about the questions regarding the departure of Dr. Freeman. I planned on playing dumb and not knowing what happened, but that would be useless if Kenzie didn't remain true to her word.

I gathered my notes together at my desk and checked all my missed emails during my absence. I still had a little over an hour before class so I took my time and drank my coffee. There was a knock at my door.

"Come in!" I was a bit apprehensive about who would be knocking at my door. Perhaps it was another colleague wanting to see me and say something to me in private about what happened. I had a feeling I would be getting many visitors due to my return to work.

Kenzie poked her head into my office. "Hi! Welcome back!" Her voice had that soothing effect again, but then again I was still upset with her over what happened the night after my assault.

"Oh, Kenzie. I wasn't expecting you. Were we supposed to meet today?"

"No, not unless you felt up to it..."

"Well, today might not be a good day. I've only been absent a few days and it's like a year has gone by I've missed so much." That wasn't true, but I didn't want to be alone with her out of fear. Fear of what she'd do, and more importantly, fear of what I'd do.

"No, I completely understand. I just wanted to say hi and also tell you not to worry, I haven't told anyone about the incident."

Which incident?

I thought.

Kenzie looked like a breath of fresh air. Her hair black hair was down and looking as perfect as ever. She wore a loose-fitting plaid shirt and a jean skirt. She had a way of looking like the girl next-door one minute, and sexy temptress the next.

"Thank you, Kenzie. I trusted you anyways," I was lying through my teeth, "I'll see you in class."

"Yeah, see you in class." She turned and made her way to the door, I couldn't help but notice her well-defined rear. It was perfect, like that of an underwear model. Her skirt was really short and the lines of her legs seem to go on forever. Just as she was about to leave, halfway through the doorway, Kenzie stopped. "And just so you know, Dr. Lockhart, I really missed you. I was worried about you while you were gone."

My heart wrenched a little hearing her say that.

God, how can you have been so angry with her? She's adorable and caring, my little hero.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'll be fine." I forced a smile while at the same time I was fighting back the urge to run over to her and kiss her. Kenzie was that type of girl who you just wanted to take care of. The girl who should never have to worry about anything or anyone because she's too sweet and kind.

I was alarmed at my sudden change of heart. Not only did I hate her for manipulating me and violating my personal space, but also earlier in the semester, she was stubborn and avoided my help. Now, I was gushing over her, nearly worshipping her! When Kenzie left I slammed my forehead onto my desk.

Wake up, you idiot! She's a student and you need to get over it. It's never gonna happen, it can't happen.

I was right, I did have a few other visitors come into my office during that hour before class. Two of my colleagues came in with big baskets of food. A third with an invitation for a free therapy session, after all, these were psychology professors. I accepted the baskets and politely turned down the therapy session. I mean, I was assaulted, but it could've been worse, or at least, that's what I kept telling myself.