Aren't you all lucky to get another story before the year ends? I've been working on this one for months and it is about time I share it. It was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoy the action-packed journey!
XOXO SkylerLuv
******
"Excuse me." An older gentleman tries to push past me.
"Oh, I'm sorry." I move my cart out of the way and try to ignore his grumbling.
"You shouldn't stand in the middle of the aisle. The world doesn't revolve around you." He manages to mumble loud enough for me to hear.
I make myself smaller for others that want to pass by and go back to looking at the cereal options. There are so many, I have a few favorites but maybe I should branch out and try something new. My mind instantly runs through all of the different outcomes. What if I don't like it? What if it has too much sugar? What if it tastes like carboard? Maybe it is best to stick to what I know I do like. I'm sure one day I'll be adventurous enough to close my eyes and just point at whatever box is in front of me. Not today though.
I toss the blue box in my cart and move on to the next aisle.
My gaze travels back down to the list at hand. I follow the same route as always. Start with cereal, move on to fruits, then veggies, then the different meat options. I get the exact same things that I get every Sunday night, careful not to get a different brand name. I pretend to debate on one option or another, as I've seen others do but I know what I'm ultimately purchasing. It's much more straightforward knowing what I'm here to get but I like to pretend to be like others sometimes. To stress about trivial things for once, not life and death.
The young cashier looks rather bored working tonight. Her dark eyeliner is intimidating but I smile and try to be friendly. I place the items on the conveyor belt in the exact same order as I always do and have to correct her when she tries to put the bananas in first before the milk. She only rolls her eyes twice before she brings up my total, I consider that a success.
I look at the green numbers on the small monitor in front of me and stop halfway from reaching for my purse.
"I'm sorry, the total should be $25.85." I keep my voice quiet but confident. It's always the same total. The same that it was last Sunday and the one before that and all the other 100s before that.
Her emotionless face continues to stare as if I didn't say anything.
"Why are there an additional 35 cents added to my total?" I dig into my small handbag to fish for coins that I did not expect to pay. In all honesty, I know I'm going to pay the full amount, but the change in total has caused a small deviation from my Sunday routine and it is causing an uncomfortable shift in temperament.
"Didn't you hear? We're charging for bags now." Her patience is running low and the person behind me has already finished unloading their things. I'm wasting everyone's time.
"Oh, okay. Sorry." I look back at the person behind me to apologize but he's already glaring at me.
It's the same old man from the cereal aisle.
******
My fingers glide through each key, thoughtfully, as I type out an email to my boss.
I delete and reword everything at least twice before clicking send. I hate to bother him so close to the end of the day but maybe he will take a few moments to respond. My request is small, if I could just get next Thursday and Friday off. I've worked here for over a year now and have never asked for a day off. I usually manage to get anything that I need done over the weekend. Just the thought of not being here on a workday opens a flood of doubt in my head but I promised myself I would do it this year.
It is the 10th anniversary of my mother's disappearance next Friday.
I touch the locket on my neck and sigh. Maybe it isn't a good idea to go back to the last place I ever saw her but I believe that being there will finally give me the closure I have been longing for. I never went back after that night. All I can think about is her retreating figure as she walked into the woods and never returned. Year after year I waited. In the past, she would go months without any type of contact but eventually, I did get some indication that she was doing well. I think the longest I had ever gone without hearing from her was nine months. So, after the ninth month and then the tenth and then the first year and the one after that I lost hope. Something happened.
She got caught.
But fretting about it now will not change the past.
All I can do is wait for a response from my boss.
"Hi, Grace!" Alice's chirpy voice shakes me out of my thoughts.
She's wearing a button-up white shirt with black slacks. Nothing special, yet she makes it work. Something like that would look plain on someone like me but she looks elegant and gorgeous. She has short dark hair and beautifully thick dark eyebrows. Her brown eyes are brighter today, more so than usual and it is hard not to match her giddiness. My hand comes up to pat my curly hair down, it usually looks like a bird's nest by the end of the day but I know Alice doesn't mind. She naturally looks good and I could never compete even if I wanted to.
"Hi, Alice!" I turn toward her.
"Any fun plans for this afternoon?" She leans over my desk and slides me a Hershey kiss.
I unwrap the foil and pop it in my mouth. Even though she already has a sweet personality, Alice always has candy ready to brighten up anyone's day. Not that she needs it. Everyone loves talking to her and being around her. I was lucky to start around the same time she did so we naturally became close. I've never been this close to a coworker before but I'm glad I am. She's the best.
"I don't think so. I have some work I have to take home since I didn't have time to finish it today." My eyes snap back to my screen when I get a ping notification.
It's my boss.
"What did I tell you about taking work home with you?" She crosses her arms.
"I know, I know." I open the email and smile brightly.
"What is it?" She moves around to stand behind me.
Most of the office has left for the day. As a receptionist, there isn't much work to do after everyone is gone but I've been helping my boss create some charts for his presentations. I truly don't mind it. Even if it is not in my job description, I like helping him out. Especially when he treats me just as well as he does his legal team.
"You're taking all of next week off?" Alice has her nose deep in my email and I have to gently push her away to respond.
"Actually, I only requested next Thursday and Friday off but I guess he is giving me the whole week." My response is short and sweet. He couldn't possibly imagine just how much that small act of kindness has pushed him up on my list of favorite people. The list is short but heavily regarded.
"It's about time you took days off from work. What are you going to do?" She goes back to the other side of the desk across from me and rests her head in her hands.
"I don't know yet. I didn't plan that far ahead." I turn off my laptop and gather all the paperwork I need to take home.
"If you want to grab a drink any of those days, I will be free!" She leaves one more chocolate kiss on my desk and leaves.
******
By the end of the week, I have most of my plans ready for the following week.
My hotel room is booked, the flight ticket is paid for, and my clothes are almost packed.
I will work my way up to visit the last place where I saw my mother by next Friday. But before then, I can go back to the little town where we lived for three years. Visit some of our favorite places, gather some flowers from her favorite park, and even pay some old friends a visit. If they still live there. I haven't kept in touch with anyone and wouldn't know how to track them if they moved. Which I'm sure most of them did. But I can cross the bridge when I get to it.
We never stayed anywhere long enough to plant roots but I do remember growing up in this little town in New England. We moved there when I was six and we got to stay until I turned nine. It was the longest we ever stayed anywhere, aside from where I am now, and I know it is safe to go back without being recognized by those on the lookout. My mother didn't have friends or bothered to date anyone. I had school friends, none too close, but still one or two that I remember with fondness. Unlike most people my age, I've had a strict no social media rule. Not if I wanted to stay unnoticed.
So, it is settled. I will fly out to the Washington DC and start a small road trip up to New England at my leisure. After a few days of travel, I can make my way further up north until I am back to the place that I haven't been to in almost a decade. I don't think about it too much, there is really nothing much more to think about. I've been mentally preparing myself for this visit for years. I know what I'm going to do and I know how it is going to feel. In the end, I just need to let go and move on.
I need to let my mother go.
******
"I ordered two shots each." Alice reaches over and pats my hand. "You'll have a whole week to recover from this hangover." She's wearing a tight, dark blue, sequin dress and black heels. Unlike me, Alice loves to go clubbing. She already has the rest of her night planned out the same way I do. Whereas I'll be home, drinking water and trying to sober up before going to bed, Alice will be shaking her ass at whatever new club opened up downtown. I never know who she goes out with but I know she has more than enough friends to take. I'm just glad she is okay with just drinking at a bar with me. That being said, the shots have to stop.
My tolerance level is nowhere near what it used to be and I'm slightly nervous that I'll get blackout drunk before the end of the night. I've already drank more than I usually do. I can't be hungover tomorrow during the plane ride. I will be miserable.
"I have an early flight, maybe we should stop after these shots." I know my cheeks are burning from the other two drinks I have worked on. It also doesn't help that my hair is down. It feels extra thick and frizzy today. I wish I remembered a hair tie.
"You can sleep during the plane ride!" She pouts.