Monday was a terminal buzz. A shock to the system. Fake smiles all around. Too much coffee, too many emails. More biting of the tongue.
Tuesday was the cleanup after Monday's catastrophic mess.
Wednesday was even more brutal. My boss was fighting with everyone, and the other women on the floor had to scramble to make amends with other departments. I began to feel my shoulders tighten, and I found myself grinding my teeth on the commute home.
Thursday was the final straw. It was as if nobody had learned anything the rest of the week, and we'd just consciously decided to go around in circles. It was about 4:30pm when my migraine hit, and I knew I had reached my limit. I slunk into my bosses office pinching my furrowed brow and mewed about 'not feeling well'.
Fuck this week, I had thought. Linda Samuels is taking Friday off.
I collected my purse and heavy winter jacket, surreptitiously making a beeline for the back stairs. I didn't feel like running into any coworkers, and explaining myself as they calculated in their head how much of a burden I'd just placed on them. The door swung closed behind me just as I spotted that gossip Jody Miller from the 7th floor. I felt relieved as my boots clunked down the stairs towards freedom. By the time I hit the street a second wind had taken hold, and I had a light bulb moment.
I was going to the gym before I went home!
Now, before you get any ideas about me as some sort of fitness freak, let me explain to you where my gym membership gets put to good use. Sauna, hot tub, steam room.
My membership was purchased with good intentions, but most days I barely got away from my desk for lunch. I couldn't buckle down and commit to a class or program - but man oh man, did I ever love stealing away for those "executive" gym sessions. It was a treat - and probably cheaper than a regular spa appointment.
I nestled my face into the thick collar of my jacket as I braved the harsh December wind, trying to speed up so I could get in and out before anyone from work ambled into Fitness Plus, where our office had been given a corporate discount on memberships. I bustled through the well lit lobby, swiping my card through the doors of the change room, and breathed in the humid, chlorine scented air.
Grabbing a towel, I walked to the far end of the women's change room and took a locker. Off came the winter jacket and boots into a heap, I stuffed them into the minuscule locker and looked around. In relative privacy i pulled my sweater off, and undid the belt on my skirt. As the fabric fell around my ankles, I stood up straight and caught a glimpse of my tiny body in a nearby mirror. My breasts were small, my butt petite and round. I was a simple young brunette in a nude bra and white cotton panties. It was weird how awkward I was about my body. There was a sexual thrill I'd always felt about exposing myself, but an unexplained shame in being seen - if that makes any sense. It had been awhile since I'd had a boyfriend, or sex - there was just so much other stuff I wanted to do before sharing my life with somebody I guess. Though none of that was being accomplished stuck in cubicle land bitching about promotions.