Dear readers.
This story is one I began a while ago and is really where the inspiration for the Two Switches came from. It is a step away from my normal stuff and is more of an emotional slow burn.
I want to thank Wax for the excellent proof reading so this story could be a surprise for my usual proof reader.
This is for you Sabina, you are my angel. Without you I am broken.
*****
The Colt Anaconda looked exactly like what it was. The perfect tool for ending life. Forty-seven ounces of nickel plated metal with a 4-inch barrel and a moulded grip.
She opened the cylinder. Six holes beckoned, waiting to be filled.
She took a breath and slid the brass and lead cylinder in to one of the holes.
It slipped in with a precise click.
A deft hand movement closed the cylinder and spun it.
She thumbed back the hammer slowly.
Then placed the barrel in her mouth.
She tasted gun oil and the tangy copper of adrenaline, as her system began to pump the drug around her body in preparation for injury.
She closed her eyes and pulled the trigger.
CLICK.
An empty chamber.
She breathed out.
"Guess you're going out to work then." She said aloud.
Every morning for the last month she had performed the same ritual.
Every morning the same result. She was the luckiest, unlucky person alive.
Some mornings a small part of her was glad. Others, not so.
Danielle Whyte had been low before, but this was a different level of low. PTSD and depression went hand in hand with members of the armed forces. Normally women didn't serve on the fighting line, and to be fair Danielle wasn't even meant to be in the midst of the action. As the pilot of a medivac Blackhawk, she would swoop in pick up injured and be out again before the Taliban knew she was there. And in the worst case the Apache escorts kept any anti-aircraft fire at bay.
Unfortunately, fate played its hand and the tail rotor of the Blackhawk had caught a stray burst on exfil. They had nearly made it out of the hot zone when the damage blade sheered and dropped the helicopter like a bag of stones. Her co-pilot, loadmaster and the injured marine didn't survive the crash. That left herself and the Anaconda.
Fear is your enemy.
That is what the instructors tell you when you're downed behind enemy lines.
As far as Danielle was concerned fear was her entire life at that point. Nothing else existed. Trapped inside the wrecked Blackhawk surrounded by the stink of jet fuel and the thoughts that Insurgents could be climbing over the wreckage any second were the only things in Danielle's mind.
In reality the SAR was scrambled, and the gunships remained on over watch in case any of the Taliban got too close. She was never in any real danger. But for the three hours she was on the ground alone she had never been so afraid.
In those three hours Danielle discovered she was afraid of being alone.
This fear was exacerbated when she was returned to flying duty. Suffering from severe flashbacks and signs of PTSD Danielle was sent for a psychiatric evaluation. The subsequent failure coupled with the continual nightmares of the crash left her a total wreck, emotionally and physically, and she had to be invalided out of the forces.
That left her squarely where she was today. No money, no friends, unable to hold on to a job for more than a few weeks and worst of all, alone.
Every night was a repeat of the same nightmare. When she closed her eyes, she was instantly back in the wrecked helo. The smell of jet fuel would make her gag and the sound of bullets whining overhead would turn her insides to water. And always she was alone.
Just her and the Anaconda.
She made a move to replace the handgun in its box, then changed her mind. Maybe it was because the tiny room she rented was littered with empty vodka bottles and the stink of vomit, or maybe today was just worse than any other day.
She flipped the cylinder out again, the eye of the unused .44 stared at her. Slowly and deliberately she fed another five shells in to the cylinder and snapped it closed.
She eased the hammer back and placed the barrel in her mouth.
She pulled the trigger.
CLICK.
"What the fuck...?"
She opened the cylinder again. The six shells gleamed in their snug holes.
"If you keep doing that you're going to make me really angry."
The voice made Danielle freeze.
"Hey. Over here."
Slowly she turned to where the voice had come from.
In the corner of the shitty one room apartment sat a young woman. Pale skin, with heavy black eye make-up, short spiked red hair, torn denim jeans, a biker jacket and short ankle boots. Not catwalk attractive, but certainly not ugly. Her hand cradled a cigarette which curled smoke upwards towards the paint peeling the ceiling.
The Anaconda swung around to point at the redhead.
"Seriously. You've been pulling that trigger for a month and haven't blown your head off yet. What makes you think it's going to do anything now?"
Out of panic Danielle pulled the trigger.
The noise in the small room was deafening. The magnum charge spat flame as the .44 slug tore towards the woman sat on the room's only chair.
The woman frowned at Danielle impatiently as the smoke from the weapon discharge cleared.
"That was just to show you they're not dud shells." She said as she opened her clenched fist and dropped the copper jacketed slug to the floor.
"Now are you going to put that down a listen to what I have to say? This is really against the rules and I'm in serious shit when I get back."
"Are you my imagination?" Danielle asked almost convinced she was hallucinating.
"No, I am real, my name is Redieal, and I am sick of watching you trying to end your life."
The room spun around Danielle and everything went black.
***
A pin point of light entered her mind and slowly grew in to the morning sun trying to force its way through the dirty window.
Danielle was lying on the floor. The smell of the filthy rug assailed her nostrils making her want to heave.
Then she remembered the strange red head woman.
The chair in the corner of the room was empty, as was the rest of the room.
Shaking her head Danielle stood up. That had got to be the most vivid dream she had ever experienced. She could even smell the cordite from the round she had fired.
Stooping she retrieved the handgun from where it had fallen when she passed out. No doubt due to lack of anything solid entering her stomach in days. She worked the catch and emptied the shells. Five heavy bumps and one light jingle sounded as the five unused rounds and the one spent cartridge bounced off the floor.
Danielle frozen as she watched the brass cylinder roll across the floor.
She had inadvertently fired the pistol in her dream. Her stomach heaved again. The walls of the building were paper thin and with the magnum charge a .44 could easily go through two or three of the apartments.
Eyes rapidly scanned the walls searching for a tell tail bullet hole and finding none.
Maybe she had loaded a spent shell by accident?
Although that would explain everything, including why she hadn't managed to actually kill herself, but somewhere inside her she knew she had loaded six live shells.
She crossed the room to replace the Anaconda back in its case. Kicking something as she did so.
Frowning she looked down to see a copper jacket slug that looked as though it had been dug out of a Kevlar jacket.
This time when her stomach heaved she couldn't keep from vomiting. For what seemed an eternity she wretched, bringing nothing up but air and bile. Tears stung her eyes as she tried to stand up.
Had she imagined it?
Possibly. She had spent the last six months trying to drink herself to death with vodka that tasted more like turpentine, so it wasn't surprising that she was imagining things.
But where had the slug come from?
That one she couldn't answer.
Danielle crossed to the chair. It was still the same chair it had always been. Cheap crappy wood that could barely support her skinny frame. There was an odd scent of a perfume she didn't recognise and a small amount of cigarette ash on the floor.
The image of the young woman flashed in to her mind once more. The lithe figure in tight denims and black makeup smoking a cigarette.
For a brief second, she was back in the Blackhawk as it spun in to the ground. Danielle rested heavily on the wall to steady herself. She really needed some fresh air.
After some gentle persuasion Danielle got the small window open, breathing deeply she gulped in air, trying hard not to be sick again.
In the side street below the lone figure of the redhead propped against a mailbox, a plume of cigarette smoke dispersing in to the breeze.
A steady thud beat in Danielle's chest as her heart pulsed wildly. She had to speak to this woman and find out just who she was.
The apartment door banged open and Danielle half ran and half stumbled down the stairs to the street door.
The redhead had gone.
Or maybe she wasn't there in the first place.
Danielle turned to re-enter her building. A flash of red caught her eye.
Around twenty meters further along the street was the woman.