I was surprised by my own strength, as I assume one would be, when I picked myself up by the collar of my blouse and pulled myself, limbs flailing, through the narrow passage of the mirror and into the womb of the world behind. I bounced off a sink and collapsed to a chipped tile floor below. The small bathroom, perfectly arranged in a fashion just the opposite of my own, rang with the echoes of my shocked and frightened screams.
I stared up into my own eyes which looked narrow and angry. My hands clasped my ears to escape the shrill sound of my screaming.
"Shut the fuck up!" my reflection shouted down at me. "Jesus fucking Christ, you're loud!"
I looked up at myself - this person who looked like me, but with her cowlick on the wrong side.
Questions stampeded through my head like so many lemmings racing for an early demise. It was overwhelming. I tried my best to catch one and apply it to my lips. Unsuccessfully. "You're not wearing any pants."
"Well, why the fuck should I? The mirror is just a medicine cabinet, and it's placed so high that we are lucky just to get a chance to view the bottom of our chin, eh? Why waste so much energy creating details like pants when they are never seen."
I began to arrange my legs underneath me in an attempt to stand up. Certainly, some body parts would soon yield bruises. "There's got to be an explanation for this," I muttered to myself. And, I suppose, myself. "Someone must have spiked my orange juice... LSD, or something..."
"Sorry, bitch, you give your friends too much credit - what few of them they are. Our meeting has been arranged by me at great effort and expense. So, get your fucking head together we have to talk." I, uh she, whatever, reached down and pulled me up to my feet. "Come on! Get off your cute little ass!"
"Fat..." I muttered under my breath.
"Stop that right now!" Mirror Me jumped in my face and even though she was exactly my height it felt like she was towering over me. Scowling.
"Yoww!" I screamed as she reached out and pinched my nipple. Even through the padding of my bra cup her grasp was quite painful.
"You diminish both of us every time you say something like that," she exclaimed. "We're hardly fat! Nothing like your friend Elle certainly. I can't stand that bitch. Why do you invite her over?"
"Elle? She's ok."
"Fuck that! The bitch must live on a diet of post-menopausal skunks. She uses our bathroom and stinks the place up for fucking days. Do you know how hard it is to get that stench out? Meanwhile you force me to spritz my nose with that saline shit and inhale. I may look content in your mirrored view, but believe me, I'm retching. If she asks to come over again, tell her to fuck off!"
Mirror Me directed me out the bathroom door and into a small bedroom completely unlike any room I had in my own apartment. The room was furnished with a large four poster bed. The walls were covered with shelves stuffed tight with books of all shapes and sizes. Light emanated from above. There was no light fixture per se, simply a featureless glowing expanse of nothingness.
"So, what do I call you? What is your name?" I asked nervously.
"Duh!" Mirror Me looked at me as though I had forgotten a year's worth of remedial coursework. "I am your reflection... I have your name!"
"Oh, Siana, I just was-"
"Except backwards. It's Anais!"
"Oh, of course."
I stared at myself- at Anais and she at me for a moment. "You're so cute," she said, finally, "when you have that lost puppy look."
"So, you, uh, live here?" I asked turning to peruse the stacks of books.
"Ah... small talk..." Anais scoffed. "You'd be pretty fucking surprised if someone else lived here, wouldn't you?"
Wow, I'm rude!
I pulled a book off the shelf and opened the cover. "I don't recognize any of these books."
"Well, first, it helps to read the book from its beginning." Anais flipped all the pages over so they rested on the left hand cover. I tilted my head back and forth staring at the words. "We read from right to left here."
Ah! Backwards.
"You wouldn't recognize the books because they have all been custom written for me," Anais explained.
"All of them?" I looked around at the piles. There must have been thousands.
I walked over to a clothing rack that contained the top half of all my outfits.
Anais patiently watched me explore for a moment then held out her arm. "Who wears this shit?" she asked. "I mean, besides you?"
I looked at her with my mouth hanging open. "What's wrong with my clothes?"
"Well, don't you ever consider wearing something that might be just a little bit fashionable?"
"'Fashionable' costs a lot of money," I explained.
"Treat yourself, bitch! Every once in a while maybe."
I continued looking around. "Are there any other rooms?"
"Access to more rooms would require for me to have more doors, now wouldn't it?" Anais stated bluntly. "Nope. It's just your grimy bathroom and my small bedroom."
"But, I have other mirrors in my apartment. How do you get to them?"
"Oh, those are totally different us's. Every mirror is a gateway to a different reflective universe... small as they may be. Every mirror is a different Anais."
"What do you eat?" I asked looking for a refrigerator.
"You eat for both of us, sweetheart. The only food I get is those crappy bits of shit that pop out from between your teeth when you floss. Spit that shit out! Don't swallow it! That's fucking disgusting."
I accidentally let out a minor exasperated laugh.
"What? What's wrong?" Anais asked accusingly.
"I uh... I was just wondering if I come across to people like you do since, you know, we are the same person."
"Ah! You're worried that you are a crass, rude, bitch? That's what you wanted to say, right?"
"Nooo! No, no no..." I said staring at the floor. "Yes."
"Don't worry, sweet nips. You come across as sweet. Sweet sweet, even. Disgustingly saccharine, nasty sweet. And milquetoast. Oh my god, yes! Totally wimpy, mild milquetoast. So, don't worry."
"I... I won't," I said, my hand covering my mouth.
"You see, like all things, the multiverse likes balance. You are right handed. I am left handed. Whereas you are a submissive, boot-wiping, floor mat, I am a type-A, alpha bitch. Balance!"
"Oh! Like matter and antimatter?" I suggested.
"Don't try to think, bitch. You'll give me a fucking headache."
I looked around the small room briefly. "So, why am I here?"
"Don't you remember? I reached through the mirror, grabbed your ass and yanked you through. Quite a trick, huh?"
"Well, what do you want?"
Anais turned from me and paced across the room unbuttoning her blouse as she went. "You've been packing your bags. You're getting ready to go on trip."