The funny thing about feuds between PTA moms and school administrators is that they often become best friends afterwards (or "besties" if you want to call it that.) When it's all said and done, the constant bickering suddenly becomes a barrage of sweet words. But of course, there are always things behind the scenes -- things which people won't ever know about -- that lead to that surprising turn around.
Here's an example:
A few years ago, Principal Ashley Myers was tasked by her superiors to put a proverbial 'tight leash' on the most prominent ringleader PTA mom.
For those of you who don't know, the 'PTA' refers to the Parent-Teacher Association. It sounds like a friendly enough concept, but it can often bring out the sharp fangs of a few overly assertive mothers, who think their offspring are God's gift to humanity.
This happened during late November for the annual "Fall Ball." It was the time of year where everyone, and I mean everyone, had a chance to blow off some steam and enjoy the end of the year. After all, everyone loves the holidays.
It was also a time where power moms repositioned themselves for the latest power plays. Gossip, sniping at each other, and passive-aggressiveness would usually pick up at around this time of year.
That was in addition to all the usual posturing that went around between faculty and the PTA.
For context, PTA moms would often say the following:
'I have this idea, and I want you to allow... so and so...'
' Will you do this for me? I know it's within your grasp and it will only take a second.'
'I want access to... such and such...'
Keep in mind, those sorts of things are welcomed, within the confines of good manners. It means they care. It means they have an interest. It means there are new ways to improve things for the wonderful students.
On the other hand, you have power players like Dolores Chavez, a former local news anchor turned soccer mom extraordinaire after marrying a rich husband. She had become somewhat of a prototypical pillar of the community. She loved leading social and community events. By many accounts, she was the loveliest woman in the city.
With her feisty personality and former television experience, Dolores had become a real handful, especially when it came to being the ringleader of the PTA mothers.
A typical meeting with Dolores would often lead to gems such as:
'My husband's business makes me so much money that I can spend more time here.'
'I know my leadership can lead this school to better horizons.'
'I'll talk it over with the other parents, to see what they think about your plans first. Then we can move forward.'
'Have you heard the latest with Tiffany?... I know, right?'
You can see why that would be problematic for any current administration. An organization simply cannot thrive under those sorts of internal and external stresses.
Anyway, the Fall Ball was in full swing and Principal Ashley Myers was tasked by the Superintendent and a few key faculty members to carry out the new arrangement. There was a strong sense of matriarchal control in the district, so this group of women 'in the know' could basically get away with anything.
Make no mistake about it, Ashley was a great Principal and loved her job. She loved getting feedback and working closely with parents.
But standards had to be set or else there would be chaos.
Ashley was usually assigned to these sorts of tasks because, frankly, she was drop dead gorgeous and had the killer instincts to match. With her wavy blonde hair and deep blue eyes, she was a knockout. Add to that her Texas charm (where she was born and raised) and almost daily spin classes at the gym, and you have a winner.
On that particular night, she made sure to wear a sleek black dress. Something that could be hiked up easily. Her hair was shoulder length and curled on the ends. She loved dressing up for these holiday events.
Briefly stepping into the auditorium area for the evening concert, it was easy for Ashley to spot Dolores in the forming crowd. Dolores was a 40-something year old Latina woman, and with her background in television, she knew how to doll herself up for any occasion. Top it all off with a nice set of tits and a plump bottom, and Dolores was a real eyecatcher.
Making her even easier to spot, Dolores was known for her rich black ponytail. Her fancy wardrobe and expensive cosmetics always changed, but her luscious black ponytail was always there.
"Can we have a word?" Ashley whispered into Dolores's ear, cutting into a group conversation.
Dolores looked mildly irritated. "Now? My daughter is the star of the show. She'll be on stage soon."
"We'll be just down the hall. There's big news and I wanted to talk to you about administrative plans."
"Perfect," Dolores said with a proud smile in front of others.
They left the auditorium, and although Ashley had been a respected Principal for the past few years, she still had to be on her toes. You never know what can happen when tangling with a power PTA mom.
***
The art room was just down the hall from the auditorium. No one else was there. It was a standard room for an art class. The windows were big and the tables were large. There was an array of art designs made by students posted on the walls. Best of all, the teacher had been screening films for students that day, so the small viewing window on the door had been covered with paper taped over it.
No one in the busy hallway could see them and Ashley locked the door.
"So I have some ideas for the Christmas donations," Dolores said, pacing around the art room and admiring all the artwork.
It didn't surprise Ashley that this power PTA mom went straight to business. What most people don't understand is that a lot of people love to be part of something. They love to contribute. They love the recognition that comes with being a pillar of the educational system and a hero of the community.
That's a great thing, of course. But sometimes the price of getting your name and recognition out there can come at a cost. What most people can never grasp is that this whole PTA thing can be a very cutthroat, woman-eat-woman tournament.
What people don't see are all the behind-the-scenes drama and trail of hurt feelings. People feeling slighted and jaded because their ideas were passed over. Or they never got the public credit they felt they so rightfully deserved. That their names weren't specifically mentioned on 'thank you' emails sent out to the entire faculty and everyone on the PTA.
And that's exactly what Principal Myers was trying to avoid with this plan. Some of the power moms needed to be controlled. To be kept on a tight leash. Why have hurt feelings? It's just not necessary.
There are better alternatives.
"I'm always interested in your ideas," Ashley said.
The truth was, there was always a need for fundraisers, but this was all part of Ashley's plan. To get Dolores pulled in so deeply that she would talk herself into whatever Ashley wanted.
Dolores started. "I've been looking into grants that are available from companies who will provide things like technology and supplies. There are major companies that will provide computers, smart boards, all kinds of technology, at huge discounts or free, to schools. I believe we could save over half of our technology budget by writing grants for those companies. You would just need someone with the time and communications skills to actually write those grants."
Dolores knew, of course, that she would be the perfect choice for that position, solidifying her place as "Queen Bee" in the hierarchy of PTA moms and leaving the school district heavily dependent on her services.
The power mom continued, "I've also been talking to local merchants. I think we could sell cards, giving discounts to whomever purchases one at those merchants. We would get a 20 percent cut of the price of all the cards sold."
