My phone rang. It was just after eight in the morning and I was about to get my day started. I looked at the caller ID and answered immediately.
"Hi Paula. This better be good at this time in the morning. What's up hun?"
There was a brief pause and then, in a slightly shaking, odd voice, she said, "Anna. Can you come round? I need you to see something."
"Hun. I'm about to jump in the shower. Can't you at least give me a clue?"
"I... something happened to me in the night. I... want you to try and help me understand."
I sighed. "Okay, hun. I'll shower and dress. I'll be round in about half an hour, is that okay?"
"Thank you Anna. I'll get the coffee ready."
"What's happened to your voice? You sound different. Smoother. A little higher. Bit of a hangover after our celebrations last night?" I asked with a smile on my face.
"Um... that's part of it. Please. Let me explain when you get here."
"Okay hun. See you soon. Mwah!"
I disconnected the call, wondering what on earth was up with her. I'd known Paula for around three years. She was in her mid twenties when we met and I had just turned thirty. When I first met her she was known as Paul but I sort of had an inkling there was something different. He was more diminutive, delicate and, well, feminine than most men. He had... odd hair. It was colourless. I mean pure white. I thought he'd dyed it, but he told me that it was some condition that meant there was no pigment in it. He'd also grown it to shoulder length and had grey blue eyes. He was, to say the least, enigmatic.
He
had become part of a small group of friends. Three girls and
him
.
About two years ago
he'd
contacted all of us and asked if we would meet with
him
in a little bar that none of us ever frequented. We all met up and
he
wasn't there. We all wondered between us what the mystery was.
It was at that moment that a woman came up to the table, already holding a drink, and said, "Hi girls." She had Paul's signature white hair and grey-blue eyes. She was wearing a knee length summer frock and heels. There was a pause while it sank in.
Penny was the first to speak. "Paul? What... Did I miss the call to a costume party?"
She
cleared her throat. "This is why I wanted to meet on neutral territory. I... can I sit down?"
I patted the chair next to mine that we'd saved for...
him?
. "Of course, hun."
She sat down, took a sip of his beer and in a slightly shaky voice said, "I... I've decided I want to be... a woman. I've thought about it ever since I can remember but... I want to be public about it and you, being my best and closest friends, I wanted to let you know first."
Sandra said, "Ohhh...kay. What are we supposed to call you now, then?"
She
relaxed a little, smiled wistfully and said, "Paula. I thought it was easiest."
I looked at her. "So... Paula... how far do you want to go with this?"
She swallowed. "All the way, Anna. I know it will take years but I have felt trapped in this body all my life, knowing I wasn't really male at all. I went to my doctor and told her. I have to go through a thorough psych evaluation and I have to live openly as a woman as part of that process."
Penny said, "Wow. Okay. Big news, Paul..a. You're going to get tits and everything? I mean... what about down there?" She indicated his lap with her eyes.
"Eventually, yes. That as well."
Zoe hadn't spoken yet and Paula looked at her. "Zoe? Your opinion really matters to me."
She looked conflicted but said, "If that's what you want, hun, I'll back you all the way. We all will, won't we girls?"
We looked at each other and we all nodded. Paula was close to tears.
"You girls are the best. Thank you so much."
The next couple of years were painful for Paula, but Penny, Sandra, Zoe and I were there for her. When her best friend betrayed her and called her all sorts of horrible names, we held her and comforted her. I clearly remember that night. We'd gathered at Paula's house when she'd called on us. The pain that had been caused was palpable. Paula couldn't stop crying and we all fussed over her, telling her it would be okay. She could rely on us.
Now, two years later, Paula had got the news that she had passed her evaluation and she could start her hormone treatment the following week. That was yesterday. We'd all got together and had quite a boozy night celebrating. I walked Paula home on unsteady feet, she'd had quite a lot to drink, and as we were walking, she'd turned to me, stopped me, taken my hands and said, in what I would later call her Pinocchio moment, "I... I'll be a real girl."
I smiled. "Yes, hun you will."
She squeezed my hands. "I
really want
to be a real girl."
"I know. And you will be."
"Finally. I will be a real girl."
I kissed her cheek and said, "Yes hun. In the meantime you have a lot to get through. A good night's sleep would be the first of those things."
I'd dropped her off, making sure she got into her house safely, and headed home.
As I showered and dressed I mused on the night. Paula's joy at moving onto the next steps in her journey. Her ardent desire to be recognised as a woman. I have to say that with a padded bra, makeup lessons from all of us, fashion tips - she originally started wearing quite slutty clothes which we all massively advised against - she had really started to what they call
pass
. Before she'd got to that stage she would sometimes get very spiteful and hurtful comments from people, both men and women, but now most people she met had no idea of her past and took her for what she presented as.
Once I was ready I walked out into the sunshine and took the fifteen minute walk to Paula's. I pressed the buzzer and I heard her call out, "Come on in, Anna. The doors open."
I walked in, through the hallway and into her kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table, still in a large, grey, towelling bathrobe. There was something different about her look. I couldn't quite work out what it was at that moment. She'd clearly had a shower and fixed her hair. She looked radiant but also a little nervous or perhaps worried.
She stared into my eyes, pointed at a mug of coffee next to her, "Hi Anna. Thank you for coming. Sit next to me, please?"
Still confused, I sat down and said, "Okay, why all the mystery? What happened?"
She swallowed. "I need to show you something but first I have to tell you about something that happened in the night."
I picked up my coffee in both hands and took a sip. "Go on.. And what's with the voice? You sound significantly more feminine. Is that something you've been practising?"
She shook her head and took a deep breath. "When you dropped me off I went up to my room, managed to get undressed and fell into a deep sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up suddenly. I had a feeling there was someone else in my bed. I turned and nearly jumped out of my skin. In the moonlight I could make out someone on the bed next to me. A woman. Naked.
"She said, in a very gentle voice,
'Don't be scared Paula. I am here to help you.'
"I managed to ask her, 'who the hell are you and how did you get into my house?'