This series is a companion to my story Truth & Admiration.
My intent is not to offend, but this is a d/s lesbian romance with strong themes of nonconsent and reluctance. If that's not your cup of tea, I understand and hope you will find another story to enjoy.
As always I hope you will enjoy the story, and that if you do you will leave a comment.
XOSNS
Doubt Enters
Leethie had been corresponding with Miranda for months and had a collection of a dozen mixed tapes that she loved and made her pine for her far away friend. Miranda was still living in the city and was working at a coffee shop. But in her last letter, she admitted that she was thinking of moving in with Thom out on the peninsula - to save money.
Leethie had settled into a good rhythm at work meanwhile, she had made some good friends at work, and was excited for the holidays. In mid-December, however, that all came to a crashing halt when HR called her in to tell her there had been a complaint and that there would be an investigation.
There had been a series of interviews, and while she hadn't told her parents, and hoped it would all blow over, the whole affair had hung over her like a cloud through the New Year.
She felt a shock of dread when she returned to work after the holiday and found a note on her desk, asking her to report to HR immediately.
"We are letting you go," the woman told her bluntly. The reason, she'd explained was sexual harassment. Leethie was stunned. She could feel her bones. They felt cold. Staring at the woman in shock, she tried to think of something to say, some way to appeal to her, to salvage the situation.
"I told you, they were jokes. I was just joking," she'd sputtered. Horror washed over her as she realized she was going to cry. "Linda was..."
"We take workplace safety seriously here," the woman explained coolly. "And after investigating Ms. Park's complaint, it's clear there was a pattern of abusive and inappropriate interactions instigated by you. We have zero-tolerance for bullying of any kind, and frankly, your conduct leaves me with no other recourse Ms. River."
The HR officer was a large older woman with a dowdy haircut and thick glasses in oddly dated amber frames. They gave her an owlish look. Leethie had sat through a series of interviews with her since Linda had filed the complaint in December. She'd defended herself as best she could when she was first called in, but she had been blindsided. She'd thought Linda was her friend.
"What am I going to tell-" Leethie started, but choked. She couldn't believe this was happening.
"I'm going to step out now," the woman told her, gesturing to a box of tissues on her desk. "When you've collected yourself I'll escort you to your desk so you can collect your personal belongings."
The woman stood, smoothing her skirt and turned, but stopped herself, and turned back.
"I know this is hard Ms. River," the woman told her, "but perhaps it's an important wake-up call. I would urge you to seek counseling."
With that, she turned and walked into the hall. Through the distorted lens of her tears, Leethie could see a security guard holding an empty filing box waiting in the hall with her. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, trying her best to preserve her mascara, and whatever dignity she had left.
Leethie stood carefully, her legs felt shaky and weak. She pulled herself upright and took a deep breath, pushing back her shoulders, she walked left the little office.
The woman from HR had taken her employee ID and then she and the security guard escorted her to her desk. Linda wasn't at her desk, but everyone else was. She felt their eyes on her as she packed her personal items into the filing box and walked stiffly out.
Sitting in her car she sobbed so violently a headache bloomed and pressed against the front of her skull. The shame overwhelmed her, she felt she might drown in it. Blinded by the tears she gasped and wiped at her nose. She missed Miranda, hated Thom; hated Miranda.
'This is all her fault' Leethie thought, her face hot and head pounding, snot dripping from the end of her nose.
There was a moment when Thom had started pursuing Miranda that Leethie had considered squelching the affair. She knew if she'd fucked him Miranda would stop seeing him, and had never doubted he'd wanted to fuck her. Looking back, she realized how skillfully Miranda had worked to stop that from happening and to put Leethie at ease.
"He's just, I don't know, he's ok I guess," Miranda had told her when she'd asked about their date, but she had blushed deeply; shrugging. "It's just something to do."
"You don't even like guys," Leethie had accused."What's with this one?"
"Thom's like a big brother," she had explained, waving him away. She had still been dressed for her date. Her fine warm-gray hair was back into two little girlish knots at the back of her head and she'd put makeup on. She'd pursed her lips in a show of indifference. Her lipstick was a brilliant red. "He was our group advisor for orientation, we've been friends since I guess?"
Thom had graduated the year before, but had taken a job with a paper nearby and was always around - but only on the periphery. The date was new. Leethie and Miranda were in their final year and would graduate that coming spring. They had been roommates for almost two years by then. Miranda was standing in Leetie's 'doorway' looking giddy and nervous. Nominally the little studio they divided with cheap shoji screens created separate rooms, but there were no doors, and really very little privacy.
Leethie had not been waiting up. She had opened a bottle of red wine and taken a long bath, done a mask, then had stayed up studying. She'd been sitting on her bed wrapped in a robe reading when Miranda had gotten home. She had wondered if she'd bring Thom upstairs but wasn't surprised when she had come in alone.
Leethie had brought guys back to the apartment; had enjoyed fucking them loudly knowing Miranda could hear everything - it added a thrill knowing she was listening. But she'd started getting a reputation on campus and she didn't like that, so it had been a while since she had done that; Miranda had never brought anyone to the apartment.
"Well, you sure got dolled up for Mr. He's OK I Guess," Leethie said, gesturing to Miranda's lips with a backhanded wave.
"You like it?" She'd asked brightly, smiling and spinning so her skirt flared, the tiny silver cockles on its hem sparkling.
Leethie had laughed at her. "You look like a hippie."
"I know!" Miranda laughed back, raising an ankle wrapped in a string of little shells.
When she examined her feelings at all, Leethie just imagined herself as someone with a powerful sex drive and was confident she had no interest in Miranda romantically; found the idea pitiable and absurd. But she didn't blame Miranda for lusting after her any more than she blamed guys for lusting after her. It was, in her mind, to be expected. And even if she couldn't admit her own desires, Leethie didn't see any harm in taking advantage of Miranda's desire. Even so, other than the few times in Europe she told herself that she'd only allowed it a dozen times since they'd been back - maybe a bit more - and only when she was drunk and too horny to care.
Looking at Miranda, twirling and smiling after her date, she'd thought about what it'd be like to fuck Thom while Miranda listened. She imagined making her eat his cum after. Her chest felt like it was full of coals as she pictured it.
As powerful as that feeling was, Leethie would never admit to being attracted to Miranda, or even wanting her, she could admit to wanting, and getting off on, making the other girl eat her out. But something about her lips painted red had fired Leethie up.
Miranda had seen it and had done something new that night. Twirling and smiling, she'd danced to Leethie's bedside, and kneeled there, looking up - suddenly very flush.
"What?" Leethie jabbed, annoyed with Miranda.
"Nothing," she'd answered, her smile faltering. "It just seemed like you were staring at my lips?"
