This story was intended as a 2 part story about a student dealing with a problem and getting help from her teacher. But it grew into a love story, so here is part 1 of 16. The story is quite romantic and deals with, love, truth, honesty and being true to yourself. Please enjoy and any comments will be greatly appreciated, good or bad.
Part 1 - Secrets Revealed
I was waiting, class would be over in 10 minutes and I was ready to finally tell someone my secret. I sat on the back row of my English class, my work finished about 5 minutes ago and since then, I have just sat and stared at the clock on the wall, watching it slowly tick away. I should feel nervous but I'm not, I know this is the right thing to do, I just hope my teacher is as receptive as I hope she is. For the last year I have discovered this secret about myself and kept it as such until I was able to deal with any future problems, I have been researching what I can and I feel it is time to finally tell someone. Later today I hope to tell my parents, but I want to tell my teacher first. I need support from someone at school and I feel Miss Taylor will be the one that can help me, because if other students and teachers find out my secret, I will need someone special, someone to support me in whatever negative situation I find myself.
Only five minutes to go, I must planned this conversation in my head for over a week now, but I know these type of conversations can't be planned, because the outcome is unknown, not knowing how the other persons will react, but I truly believe Miss Taylor is the right choice.
The bell rang loudly to all, signalling to everyone in the school that it was the end of class but also the end of the day, time to go home. I hoped that Miss Taylor had nowhere to go, because I knew I needed at least an hour of her time, if not longer. By the way before I forget, my name is Sophie Green and I am 18 years old. Since my early teens I have mentally and physically, felt I was a well developed young woman, even though I should have been classed as a girl. I always felt more mature than my age states. My sister told me I was 10 going on 18; I believed she was very serious when she said that. The people who know me well, have treated me as such, this has helped my confidence, which I will definitely need when I tell my teacher and my parents, my secret.
Once the other students had vacated the classroom, I picked up my backpack from the floor hanging it on one shoulder, I then stood and started to approach Miss Taylor's desk. Since I started at this school, King Georges Comprehensive, over 5 years ago, I have been by myself, no friends my own age, I made the decision I could survive without them. But with the teachers I try and be friendly towards them, I feel they will understand me better. It has helped me to be noticed more as a very hard working student, which helps me want to work harder and impress that much more. Miss Taylor was one such teacher, except we had more of a friendship. It had built over the last 14 months since I started sixth form, if we weren't student or teacher we would definitely be friends, we enjoyed talking a lot about each others interests. We shared a lot of the same likes and dislikes, including the books we read. I was always instigating conversations about her thoughts of the world around us. I trusted her even more than my parents in some ways, like I could tell her anything, so I had chosen her as my secret keeper.
She is finishing off what seems to be some marking. She is slouching, her head sitting on her hand of her elbowed left arm, while her right skimmed through the pages of the books and writing down her notes. She looked both tired and bored. Now I was starting to worry, was I doing the right thing, was it really a good time to have this conversation. Suddenly she looked up at me and as soon as she saw me she smiled at me. Her face softened seeing me, it seemed younger. I got my courage back and approached the desk.
"Excuse me miss, but I was wondering if you could spare me some of your valuable time? I need to talk to you about something important to me." Even though I was confident, I was still slightly nervous and Miss Taylor seemed to sense this, she folded the book she was currently working on and put everything aside, giving me her undivided attention. My confidence slowly began to return, Miss Taylor was just the person I thought she is, caring, honest, trustworthy and forthright.
"Sophie, please sit." She pointed to her one to one chair she kept just a few feet from her own chair. I dropped my backpack onto floor and sat down, keeping my back straight, my confidence returned, displayed in my posture. "I am your teacher Sophie, whatever you want to talk to me about, you have both my attention and confidence."
"I really appreciate that. I need to talk to someone about something, that could potentially develop into a problem, mainly at school and I wanted to tell someone I trusted, hoping for, not only there guidance and support, but also needing a friend. I felt of all the people I know here, you were my first and only choice. Do you think it will be alright for you to talk to me, or do you feel that maybe this is something you cannot get involved with because of your position? It is quite personal. Whatever answer you give me, I will not hold it against you, I consider you honest and very trustworthy." Miss Taylor took off her reading glasses, folding them and placed them on the desk. Then she turned her chair so she was directly facing me. Miss Taylor is only a few inches taller than me, has long flowing blonde hair to my curly, shoulder length mousy brown hair. She is currently wearing a yellow summer dress. She gives off a very warm, welcoming feeling, giving my heart a much needed boost. The impression she is giving me is that we are equals, rather than as teacher/student.
"This sounds very serious Sophie and without knowing the problem, I will not be able to give you a straight answer as to what my answer will be. So at this moment in time, with the fact school is finished for the day, I want you to consider me as your friend rather than as a teacher. I also want you to feel comfortable and call me by my first name Amy. Whatever you tell me will not leave this room, unless you tell me otherwise. I'm glad you can see me as someone you can confide in, but it makes me sad that there is no one else you could think of to discuss your problem or problems with. So when you are ready Sophie, tell me how I can help?"
"Ok Mis... Amy, my secret is I am gay." Suddenly I held my breath, it was out finally, it felt pretty good to finally say it, I had read enough stories about this on the internet, reading peoples testimonies about not only coming to terms with there sexuality, but also the pressures and bigotry a person may face. Admitting or coming out to people was one of the harder steps, as well as admitting it to yourself. Amy just looked down nervously at her feet, she did not say anything for a few minutes. The longer she was silent, the more anxious I felt. Eventually she looked at me seriously and asked "Why are you telling me?" Not at all what I expected her to ask me, so I gave myself a moment to consider my answer.
