It's been MANY years since I wrestled for a wrestling video promotion. In fact until I started wrestling with Sam and Gemma about a year ago, I had been a long time inactive. But this week, out of the blue I got a message from someone claiming to be the daughter of my old video producer, who found me through social media.
'Hi Becky,
I am hoping that this message finds you well. You won't remember me, I'm Dani, Ben Marshall's daughter.
I need to start my message with some sad news, my dad recently passed away and it's related to his death that I contact you. As a tribute to my dad, I have decided to resurrect his old pantyhose wrestling video company, and I am hoping to start it off with some new faces but also with some of the original talent that worked for him. I know you were always my dad's favourite wrestler, so I am coming to you to ask if you would participate.
Hope to hear from you soon
Dani'.
Out of respect for Ben, I reply and provide Dani with my telephone contact details and ask her to call me the following evening when Sam is out. I think she at least deserves the courtesy of me declining the offer in person.
* * *
The phone rings and I greet Dani and gave her my condolences, as we get acquainted. Then the conversation moves to her proposition.
"So, Becky, I'd really love it if you would shoot some matches for us. I know my dad loved you, and I'm sure you getting involved would make him smile down as he watches over us." Dani begins.
Wow, nice emotional blackmail!
"Look, I'm really sorry Dani but I will have to say no. Firstly, I'm not in the physical condition I was when I worked with your dad. Secondly, I'm not sure that my employers would take too kindly to this if it came to their attention. So I'll need to say no." I say firmly.
"Ok, I understand. That's a real shame, as I had a real box office match lined up for our launch." She responds with obvious disappointed in her voice.
Then despite the fact that I had an opportunity to close the conversation there, curiosity gets the better of me, and I enquire further.
"So what were you thinking of for that match then?" I ask.
"Do you remember your handicap tag match with Japanese sisters called Aiko and Kiwa Ohno?" Dani asks.
"Do I remember?" I snap rhetorically. "Never has a family had a more apt name than the Ohnos. I mean I've barely gotten over the aching joints from that beating. So if you want me to repeat that, it's a much more definite no."
"It's just that match was by far our most popular title. So we wanted to relaunch with a twist to that video." Dani coaxes.
"What do you mean a twist?" I enquire. I mean why can't I just shut up?
"We thought it would be a great idea to introduce the new company with a new generation of wrestlers, with you wrestling Aiko's and Kiwa's daughters, to cross the timespan." Dani explains.
"Oh right, so instead of wrestling another veteran, you want me to get in the ring with a couple of vivacious youngsters, so I can really get my ass kicked?" I ask rhetorically.
"Five." Dani says.
"Five what?" I ask, confused by the response.
"Between them they have 5 daughters. So we were thinking a squash match, with you in a ring with one opponent and team mate waiting to tag-in from each corner." Dani adds, like it's the most reasonable request ever.
"A squash match? You're not fucking kidding, I'd be lucky to get out alive." I reply, exasperated. "I mean do you think I'm totally fucking insane?"
"We'd pay you well, we have sponsor willing to pay you $5,000 for the match." She continues.
"I wouldn't do it for a million!" I bark. That's probably a lie, but without wanting to boast, I'm not short of five grand, so that's not a convincer.
"Ok, well thanks for listening Becky and if you change your mind you know how to contact me." Dani closes.
With that we hang up.
* * *
Bizarrely, despite how ridiculously unattractive Dani's offer had been, I can't get it out of my head. My primary thought has been Sam. Christmas is coming up and shooting a new video would be a great gift. I know from the view data on her computer that my match with the Ohnos is her favourite, in fact she's watched it more than all of the other videos combined (man that girl loves watching me suffer and disgraced).
But still, should I really do this?
Well predictably once my mind had got to that point, it was 90% made up and accordingly, I contact Dani and accept the match.
* * *
I have taken the day off work and told Sam I am going 'Christmas shopping', which is sort of true.