She was a Junior at the University. Her face was brilliant: small features overall, a slightly triangular shape narrowing to the cutest chin I'd ever seen, her lips full but perfectly proportioned, her eyebrows active, animating her bright eyes.
We met by chance, bumping into each other in the café with only one table empty. She agreed to share it with me. That meeting completely changed the way I thought about making movies.
"Loralei," she offered. "Lora."
"Julie...Jules. Or Jewel."
We both smiled--something unspoken flashed between us, a chemistry--and we quickly felt in synch.
She talked; a lot. Within the hour I had learned she was studying English Lit with an emphasis on Women and Sexuality. I remember how we laughed at how impractical her degree would be, her willingness to make fun of herself resonating with me.
It was March. I'd been at the University for almost a quarter, and with the classes I'd taken at CC, was practically a sophomore. My plan was relatively on track: my class load split between business and film studies. I had finished up everything I could with Tim--we were seeing each other about once a month at this point, all of the raw material we'd created together safely in my own storehouse. My bank account was good but leveling off. I was starting to understand the rhythm of the business. I was still convinced I was all that, like any 19 year old does. I cringe thinking back at how arrogant I was: I'd had fewer than nine months' experience in front of the camera and less than that behind it, but I was convinced I knew what it took to be the best pornographer in the world. Lora changed my entire perspective. Not immediately, but as soon as I had her on camera, she turned my head around.
I was ready to dig into a new project and meeting Lora was one of those strokes of fortune. And there was something else: I was getting a vibe from her, or maybe I was just horny from not getting laid enough by Tim. I hadn't been thinking about getting into a relationship, but every time Lora and I were together I felt a familiar tingle at the base of my spine. And even though I thought it was just my imagination, I had a feeling she'd be in front of the lens; something about her practically shouted it at me. The thought of hooking up with a woman only made me hesitate a little. Llew had broken that barrier, but it was more than that. I actually started getting turned on thinking about sleeping with Lora.
All of it was just a feeling, ghosts of ideas, and I wasn't sure how to broach either possibility.
A week later, sitting in the same café at "our" table (we'd been having lunch together every day she was on campus) I decided to invite her into my business life.
"So," I stumbled into the topic, "I've been working on a side hustle since before I got to school." I paused, waiting for her to look up. "You know that I'm a film/business double major, right?" She nodded, munching on her salad. "I've been exploring opportunities for women produced erotic films." There. I put it out there.
She blinked and swallowed and then she smiled. It was the most beautiful thing. That smile. I felt myself relax into that smile.
"You're making porn?" She just shook her head and kept smiling. I could feel my vag getting wet.
I nodded, chewing slowly and staring at that smile. "Erotica. I'm going to be famous." I was such an idiot back then, but at least I had said it with a touch of irony.
She looked down at her plate, her cheeks flushed pink. "What have you done?"
As if she'd seen any of my work. I laughed and said it out loud.
She giggled. "I...," she stopped, looking up at me and then down again, her face red from blushing. "Fuckkkkk." She exhaled, staring at me. "I...look at a bit of porn," she whispered it quietly, embarrassed. "For my classes. Maybe I've seen your work." Still just above a whisper.
"C'mon," I reached across to hold her hand. "Let's find out." Her sudden bashfulness made my heart leap. This was a completely different side to her usual outgoing character. I could feel myself getting juiced up, just wanting to watch her peel her clothes off for me...and for the camera. I was smiling so hard when we left the café she kept asking what was so funny. I just shook my head, leaned over and kissed her earlobe. She squirmed, blushed, giggled softly, and squeezed my hand tighter. It was all the encouragement I needed.
We walked across campus to my dorm. I figured my roommate would be out, but the way Lora was acting, I kinda hoped she was in. I could just see her rolling her eyes and trying to ignore us, even as Lora was probably beet red all the way down to her toes. The image that I was about to seduce her only made me hornier. I was oozing, Lora's shyness shooting sparks up my spine. "What kind of porn?" I prompted her as we crossed the quad. "Anything specific you like?"
She squeaked a little and giggled, looking at me from under her eyebrows, her face burning. "It's...I've...it's for class!"
"Uhh hunh. Sure. Okay." I squeezed her hand slightly. "But anything that
you
like? More than other stuff?" I turned to see her expression.
She was blushing so beautifully. "I like...I mean...most of it is awful. Degrading. Terrible, really."
I waited, giving her time. We were climbing the steps to my building's front entrance.
"But, I guess, if I had to say anything in particular that gives me a...that...excites me...it's ...women..." She just shook her head and couldn't meet my eyes as we walked down the hall.
