You would think that after forty-four years of living in Michigan that the bitter, biting cold of its winters would no longer affect me. Well, ordinarily they wouldn't. But, this winter is different. This winter, for the first time in twenty-two years, I am single and believe it or not, available. My husband Gerald, or rather, my ex-husband Gerald and I have just finalized our divorce after nearly twenty-five years together. We met at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor when I was nineteen and he was twenty. We met at a football game between the Michigan Wolverines and the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame on a warm September afternoon. We were introduced by a mutual friend just before kickoff and by the time the final whistle blew and as the thousands of other Wolverine fans celebrated victory, Gerald and I celebrated by having sex in the backseat of his car. We moved in together after he graduated about eighteen months later and we married just after I graduated two years later.
Within five years, we had three children: The twins, Gerald, Jr. and Monica, who are now both 21; and Whitney, who is now 19. All three are healthy, happy and making their way in the world. Gerald, Jr. is about to graduate from West Point, while Monica, a brilliant scholar, graduated from Purdue University a year early and is now working on her Masters Degree in Engineering at M.I.T. Whitney is in her second year at Baylor University in Texas, studying medicine.
Well, back to me. Sorry, but I just love to dote on my children. Anyway, my name is Diane and I am forty-four years old. I was born and raised in Detroit and that is where I still live today. As I've already explained, I'm the proud mother of three beautiful children and now the ex-wife of a hopeless romantic fool. As the saying goes, "You can't stand in the way of true love." Nobody could have stood in my way when Gerald and I met, and I guess I couldn't stand in the way eleven months ago when Gerald introduced me to Frank, his true love and soul mate. Yes, my husband of nearly twenty-three years left me for another man. Needless to say, I was taken somewhat a back by this; as were our kids. I mean, I knew that Gerald and I weren't exactly burning up the sheets anymore, but I think that's pretty much normal the older you get and the longer you're together. And it wasn't that the years had been unkind either. Not to sound vain, but I have always prided myself on staying in shape. I workout on my Bow flex forty minutes a day, four days a week; and I attend an advanced aerobics class three days a week. Just so you know, I'm 5'8 and weigh 129 pounds; my measurements are 34-23-34. My ass is firm and perfectly round.
In the words of one of Gerald, Jr's friends' from high school:
"Dude, your Mom's got such a beautiful ass it's a shame she has to sit down on it."
Just so you know, while I was extremely flattered by this, I was never, EVER unfaithfully to Gerald. True, I was tempted on several occasions, but I never gave it more than a second thought. And I certainly would have never submitted to the advances of Junior's friends. Although, it was a wonderful ego boost knowing that I could turn the head and heat the hormones of an eighteen year old beefcake. I have to admit that he was HOT!
My abs are a top of the line six pack and solid as steel. My legs are long, tan and tone with exquisitely feminine muscle definition.
To quote Junior's buddy once again:
"Dude, your Mom's legs go all the way to heaven."
And as I like to add:
"Or hell, depending on your point of view."
My hair is dark brown and hangs down below my shoulder blades without the slightest hint of any gray. My neck is long and sleek, my shoulders and arms, like my legs are toned with exquisite muscle definition and femininity. Yes, God has definitely been good to me. Now, if I sound vain and very wrapped up in myself, then I apologize. But after what I've been through, I think I have a right, and a need, to know that I am still attractive and desirable.
Prior to Gerald's coming out party, in a matter of speaking, I had never really given any thought to homosexuality at all. I'd never known anyone who was gay and if I did, I certainly didn't know it or even care about it. I know that it is said that every woman often thinks about what it would be like to be with another woman sexually, but that thought had never occurred to me. Sure, I had always been comfortable admiring other women's beauty, as most women are. But when Gerald told me he was gay, that wasn't really the bone crushing blow, if you can believe it. Sure it was shocking, but the truth of the matter was: I still loved him. This man had been the love of my life and the father of my children. He had provided a beautiful home and a wonderful life for nearly twenty-three years. How was I going to live without him? What would the kids think and how would the live with it? Well, when you're dealing with true love, you often ignore those little details. And the kids, needless to say, were equally shocked...and sickened. Gerald, Jr. has for the most part, completely disowned his father with the seemingly greatest of ease. Monica and Whitney, on the other hand, are Daddy's little girls. It has been very hard on them. Their father has been their hero and their champion their entire lives. They love him dearly and just can't believe what is happening. But they are coping, and I have been trying to soften my son's heart as best a mother can. It is definitely not an easy task. But one thing the three of them are all agreed upon is this: How could he do this to me? They all have stood completely behind me through the divorce proceedings and the girls in particular have walked me through some pretty rough nights of sobbing and whaling. That is why the next part of my story is going to be so difficult to tell.
For a child to learn after many years that one of their parents is gay has got to be devastating. I cannot even begin to fathom the psychological trauma, uncertainty and identity confusion that it brings into their young lives. But what if after learning that their father is gay, they are about to learn that their mother is gay also?
Here we go...
I was attending my usual aerobics class on Tuesday evening. It had been nearly eleven months since I learned the Gerald was gay and it is now been almost three months since our divorce was final. The class was unusually small that night, only four of us and the instructor was Sherry. I've known Sherry for what seems like forever and she is a dear friend. Sherry is thirty-seven and her daughter Michelle is a year younger than Whitney and the two of them have been friends since pre-school. As the girls grew up, Sherry and I took turns babysitting, changing diapers, hosting slumber parties, hosting birthday parties, first dates, prom nights and now, one graduation with Michelle's coming in June. Sherry is about three inches shorter than me and OH MY GOD is she built to please. If you think God spent a little overtime creating me, he must have earned time and a half when he put Sherry together. Sherry and her husband Carl had divorced when Michelle was two. They had married very young, for Sherry was only nineteen when Michelle was born. After Carl left, Sherry struggled for many years, working day and night to provide for herself and Michelle. Finally she was able to save enough money to put her self through school, earning a Master's Degree in Physical Education when she was thirty. A few years later, her father passed away and left her a sizable inheritance which she used to open her own health and fitness club. Strangely, Sherry had never remarried and she never seemed interesting in dating. I never really gave it much thought and it certainly never occurred to me that she might be a lesbian. When I thought of lesbians, I usually pictured them to be buzzed cut, muscle-bound, Harley riding dikes. Sherry was everything a woman was created to be and more. She was in every aspect, a true lady. It just never entered my mind.
The class had been far more strenuous and athletic than I was accustomed to, but that was fine with me for I had a lot of excess energy to burn off tonight. Sherry seemed to be beaming tonight and for some reason that I couldn't explain, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She looked absolutely stunning. Instead of her usual black spandex pants, she wore see-through spandex pants that accentuated her gorgeous legs, her perfectly round hips and showed off her beautiful tan skin. And instead of her usual loose fitting turquoise muscle shirt, she wore what looked like a one piece, blue bathing suit. Her jet back long hair was pulled back into a ponytail.
As the hour long class came to a close, we all lay down on the floor and began our cool down. Then Sherry, as she usually does, turned down the lights in the room to a very soft dim glow and then she came around to each one of us to check our pulse rate and muscle response as we lay on the floor. During this time, I usually close my eyes and just focus on my breathing. Finally, after checking the other three ladies in the class, Sherry came to me and placed her fingers on the side of my neck. My eyes popped open suddenly and there she was crouched over me smiling sweetly. As I lay there and returned her beautiful smile, my focus was instantly drawn to her cleavage, nestled snuggly under her skin tight suit. With her skin drenched in perspiration, it glistened in the dim light of the room as if in the moonlight. I also noticed that her nipples where hard and boldly peeping out at me under the blue fabric of her suit. Sherry asked me something, but I can't say for sure what is was because I was completely mesmerized. I'd known this woman for nearly twenty years and I felt like this moment was the first time I'd ever truly seen her. As I lay beneath her, I caught the scent of her perfume, mixed with sweat, and I found it to be very stimulating.
