My wife, Julie, the love of my life, seduces my mother Susan.
Now happily married for more than a year and with our sleeping arrangements working out splendidly, even better than expected, the only fly in the ointment was Julie's mother coming for a visit. Dreading her visit, to save her the awkwardness and us the embarrassment, I wanted us to visit her but she insisted on coming to visit us. Embarrassed that she'd learn that the three of us were sleeping in the same, king-sized bed together, I didn't want Julie's mother to know that I as having sex with my mother. I needed to come up with a plan to make it appear that we were living normal and happily married moral lives instead of her finding out that when I wasn't having sex with Julie, I was having sex with my mother.
The only plan I had was to move back to my old bedroom, return my mother her bedroom, and to give Julie's mother the guest bedroom while pretending that these were our normal sleeping arrangements. Figuring that somehow and someway one of us would mess up and expose my incestuous sleeping accommodations to Julie's mother, I dreaded moving all of our stuff from my mother's master bedroom to my bedroom and having to move it all back again when Julie's mother left. Not wanting to hide behind lies, I wished I could openly declare, not just to my mother-in-law but to the world, my love for my wife and my lust for my mother. No doubt, me broadcasting our living arrangements to everyone would be a mistake. Especially, upon my too private confession, with having my mother-in-law knowing the intimate details of our sexual lives, there was no reason to tell her that her daughter lived, played, and slept in the Devil's playground.
"Until your mother leaves, we'll just have to move back to my bedroom," I said to Julie expecting her to not only agree but also to be relieved with my man of the house decision.
Feeling that I needed to protect her from herself and with only God knowing all that happened between them, I could tell that her mother had an emotional hold on her in the way that my mother had a sexual hold on me. Only, little did I know that her mother had the same incestuous hold on her than my mother had on me.
"Why?" She shrugged with lackadaisical indifference and disinterest while looking at me as if I was nuts.
Why? Duh? The typical dumb blonde, sometimes she says dumb things, one of the reasons why I love her so much. She's so cute. She's so funny in her naivetΓ© that I just want to throw a big arm around her to protect her from the world. Different than how I feel about my mother, Julie is my sweet baby and my mother is my hot Mama.
"Why?"
I looked at her not believing that she didn't understand the negative ramifications of her mother finding out that I slept with my mother. Other than confessing to her mother that I was an incestuous pervert who equally loved his wife as much as his mother, not everyone is as open minded, especially when it comes to sex.
"Yes. Why? I don't understand you reading into what my mother would think is embarrassingly inappropriate when you don't even know her," she said making her stand and holding her ground.
I could tell she was getting angry. I gave her a patient, loving smile that a loving and understanding husband would give his wife when calling a homerun a goal, a goal a touchdown, and mistaking a Chevy for a Ford or a Honda for a Toyota. Women are so naive.
"Actually, with you never talking about your mother, I don't even know her name," I said not wanting to continue referring to her mother as just mother-in-law. What's your mother's first name?"
"Emma," she said.
"Emma. That's a pretty name," I said looking at her while waiting for her to volunteer more information about her mother and when she didn't, I continued. "I don't have to know your mother to know human nature Julie, especially someone from her generation. Wait. I don't even know how old your mother is. How old is she?"
"She's not much older than your mother, a year or two a part. They're about the same age. I think my mother is 44 or 45-years-old," she said shrugging. "She's secretively protective about anyone knowing her real age, even me. When she has to confess her age, in the way that Jack Benny did, she tells everyone that she's thirty-nine-years-old."
"I see," I said. "Anyway, seriously, and back to my original question, what would your mother think of the three of us sleeping in the same bed together?"
I gave her a look of justified smugness as if I was her father protecting her from the world when I was her husband protecting her from embarrassing herself in front of her mother. How awful for Julie's mother to know that I was an incestuous pervert who had sex with his mother? Only the embarrassment I imagined she'd have wasn't her embarrassment but my embarrassment. Obviously and not knowing it at the time, by moving from my mother's bedroom back to my bedroom, I was saving myself from the embarrassment and not her. I was such a fool.
"I don't even know what my mother thinks," she said with a toss of her pretty head. "Never able to read her, I never know what goes through her too selfish mind. Everything is all about her."
"Nonetheless the self-centeredness of our mother, I'd be so embarrassed for your mother to know that I'm sleeping with my mother," I confessed while hoping that my wife would be more forthcoming with confessing her personal information, especially about her mother, too. "Moreover, I'd be embarrassed for your mother to know that I'm sleeping with my mother and with you in the same bed. Wouldn't you be embarrassed for your mother know that your husband was having sex with his mother?"
"What would my mother think?" She shrugged while giving me a practiced, plastic smile that a New York model would give a fan. "You don't know my mother Charlie." She laughed.
"Okay, then tell me about your mother so that I can understand what I need to know about her for us to have a congenial visit," I said.