The bus driver was playing his favorite songs that morning. Kim quite liked the old stuff so she hummed along and sometimes sang under her breath hoping no one could hear her. Take good care of my baby started, one of Kim's favorites, and she danced sitting down to the tune. She also broke her cardinal rule and sang out loud- the "don't you ever make her blue oh oh ooh"- part.
The man next to her smiled when, a few moments later, she had glanced at him to see if he had noticed. He had. Now he looked all smug and indulgent and she seethed the rest of the way to her stop. He stood to let her past with the narrowest of gaps so she had to brush against him to get out with that knowing smile on his smarmy face.
It bugged her all day of course. She knew to keep to herself on the bus and she felt she had made a serious error.
The next morning, to her relief, he didn't get on but a girl who got on pretty much everyday but had never sat besides Kim did just that this day. She got settled with her bag on her lap and turned to Kim.
"I watched you yesterday getting into the oldies," she told her cheerfully clearly expecting to start a conversation.
What she got was an icy stare followed by a total freeze out.
"The nerve!" Kim thought indignantly while the girl next to her, who had hoped to make a friend, sat in stunned silence.
Some minutes later with Kim staring pointedly out the window (there were other seats, were there not?)she heard the slightest sniff.
"Rude and doesn't bring any tissues. Wonderful," Kim thought contemptuously making a point of not looking at her but on the third sniff she did. The girl's eyes were closed and big tears leaked from both red eyelids to roll down her face.
Now Kim felt awful.
"I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh before," she offered getting a shrug back.
"It was just the man yesterday, the one sitting next to me, it was like he knew something about me after, you know ..."
Did she really sound that pathetic?
The girl meanwhile had produced a few tissues from her bag and proceeded to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.
"I love these songs," she said quietly.
"I do too," Kim admitted looking straight ahead and the girl gave Kim's wrist a little double squeeze.
That took Kim a bit by surprise and she tensed, momentarily, then relaxed and put her other hand briefly over the girl's. She liked her, she decided and relaxed allowing herself to spread and her hip lightly touch the girl's.
It was Kim's turn to apologize and offer to shove across a bit but she got a smile and a quick head shake from the girl and now her hip was pressing quite firmly against Kim's. Normally Kim hated being touched; she avoided men or fat women who took up too much room. This though? This was nice.
She let her leg splay just a tad and now she was pressed against the girl all the way down from their hips to their knees. They had turned in towards each other too and Kim had that sense of them being in their own little world.
They sat in silence for a few minutes with Kim expecting the girl to carry on leading the conversation while the girl was terrified of saying the wrong thing. It was going well now she was thinking but if I say something, what if I say something stupid?
Her mother had told her that she said the silliest things. She was too open, that's what her mother told her, she had no mystery about her. May Bernadette O'Brien- the open book her mother had said.
"May I" they had called her at Carmel.
She ate more than she should and she knew she was a few pounds overweight but she couldn't help it and now with mom's boyfriend moving in and giving her dirty looks behind her mom's back...well she had the king size Cadbury's Caramello chocolate bar in her bag so she would just have a bite or two during the day if things got her down and Cathy or one of the others at work was mean to her.
She glanced over at Kim in her beautiful clothes- oh they did look nice- her perfect hair with the high lights and a body to die for and willed her to say something. No; say something nice. Put downs could wait till she got to work.
Kim caught her second nervous glance and found herself smiling. No plan, no strategy she liked her and she smiled. The girl's face was a sight to behold. From worried and nervous it broke into a huge smile that came not just from her eyes but from her heart.
"I'm Kim," Kim told her holding her hand out.
"I'm May, May O'Brien," May told her in her soft shy little voice.
She used to include the Bernadette but didn't now because she got all the comments about "oh my God how Catholic is that? Berna bloody dette?" So she left it out but she did like her second name. She knew all about her Saint, Bernadette, but sadly no one seemed interested in hearing about her- which was a shame because as far as May was concerned Saint Bernadette was a truly wonderful woman. She knew why she was called May; her father had wanted a boy and had all the names worked out after months of deciding, Patrick Joseph O'Brien.
He hadn't thought of a name if it was a girl and as she was born May 17 he said "call the sprog May for all I care" and had left May's mother in the maternity ward to head off down to the pub and drown his sorrows.
"Oh, sorry, Kim Sinclair," she heard back the voice soft and friendly now.
It was really Kimberley Deborah Sinclair and people automatically assumed she was well to do. She wasn't and she didn't want people thinking she was adopting airs and graces so she had shortened her first name to Kim. The truth was she loved her name; Kimberley but you have to live with people, get on, so it was just bloody Kim.
"Is that short for Kimberly ," May asked her intently and she had smiled again and nodded.
"It's a lovely name," May said wistfully " I was named after the Month I was born in- my dad wanted a boy."
She got that little shrug girls share when they know how it is is how it is; its not fair but it's how it is.
"I think it's a sweet name, May. It suits you."
"Really?" May had never heard anyone say they liked her name.
"Yes well, its a sweet name and you're sweet.I'm really sorry about before May."
This was crazy. A roller coaster ride with this girl she had just met. She had promised herself after the heartbreak following the Vicky affair that she would never look at another girl again. Ever. Now here she was and she couldn't fool herself; she was looking at May like that.
"You're nice too- oh and you were quite right to tell me off. Mom says more people should tell me off then I might grow up."
"Cow," thought Kim just managing to stop herself mutter it under her breath.
"You are what you May," she paused as May's eyes stared intently at her; May hanging on every word.
"I wouldn't want you to change."
May wanted to cry. She did far too much of that too according to her mother and she had to make much more of a effort to harden up. She closed her eyes and bathed in the words she had just heard. Then Kim had put her arm round her shoulders and her face was resting on Kim's chest.
It was only a half a minute or so but May had put it straight away at the top of her Best Things To Ever Happen To Me List.
She felt the arm slide down and straightened up- all the while clinging to the hope Kim might just be changing positions because her arm was sore.
"Better now?" she heard and, brave little soldier that she was, she smiled brightly and nodded.
Kim had pressed harder against her and under the coat she had on her lap May felt Kim squeeze her hand. She squeezed back then,suddenly, the bus had turned into Broadway and she knew Kim got off at Two Double Seven and she only had a moment or two left with her that morning.
Kim produced her card and wrote her home number on it.
"Ring me tonight,maybe- I'll be home after eight. Take care."
May took the card and held it tightly. She got up to let Kim get out and watched her till she was out of sight. When she was May closed her eyes tight, the treasured business card in her hand, and thought of how lovely that had been. After eight, she remembered and the fear of Jason, her mother's boyfriend, doing his usual trick of stuffing things up came to torment her.
Kim had no idea why she had put in that bit about being home after eight. She wasn't going out, she would be home, so why say it?
To impress. That was the reason; she had to impress everyone. A busy important woman like her couldn't possibly just be at home. No one important was ever just 'at home' so she couldn't be either.
But for God's sake! To play upmanship with May; how pathetic was that?
May was impressed. She would be home and the idea of people having things to go to in the middle of the week was amazing. Not that she was surprised, well you could tell by the way she dressed, the way she spoke, the way she carried herself that she was a some body and not a nobody like May Bernadette. All the same May knew Kim liked her, maybe even had feelings for her, and she felt a little thrill at the thought of hearing her voice on the phone that night just after eight.
At ten to eight Kim waited by the phone. She had checked the battery was charged that it had a dial tone and at five minutes past eight she had a look just to check it hadn't suddenly stopped in the preceding fifteen minutes. At twenty past a terrible lump was in her throat and her tummy was quite hollow.
Half past and she was in despair while by quarter to she felt she knew what it was to lose the one you love.
The call didn't come but her reaction wasn't the usual resentment it was concern. All day she had played the words May had said over and over in her mind.The more she thought of what she said and how she said them to say nothing of those expressions of hers the surer she was that she was in love. Stupidly, madly, head over heels in love.
If only she had taken her number down. Maybe they didn't have a land line? Well, lots of households these days only had a mobile and those things were so expensive to ring on.
