What do you wear to your first queer outing? Janet had tried on everything in her closet, and nothing seemed to say "I'm a newly out bisexual, please be nice to me" the way she wanted. She came out to her boyfriend last year and while he was lovely about everything and they even opened their relationship, she was talking a little while to come out of her shell - so to speak.
One of her friends from her last job shared an email newsletter that always had cool queer events going on in the city. Janet had RSVP'd for three other events and backed out last minute before finally committing to this one. A queer vegan BBQ. As nervous as she was, Janet had to admit she was excited too. Day drinking with plant-based food and a group of welcoming queers - you can't beat it.
What really kept her up at night was the idea of flirting with other femmes, let alone hooking up with anyone.
She decided on a crop tank top, jean shorts, and a short sleeve unbuttoned button-down on top. Despite having large breasts, Janet's body was athletic and muscular. She typically wore feminine clothes that don't mask the fact that she could squat most adult men.
Janet lingered at the mirror, swapping out her hoop earrings for colourful studs and took a deep breath. Now or never.
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She pulled into the park fifteen minutes early and kicked herself for her own punctuality. Parking her sedan, Janet checked her makeup in the mirror and then pulled out her phone to check the event details. She was in the right place, just uncomfortably early. She opened Instagram and scrolled to pass the time.
A message popped up from her sister, "Good luck! I'm so proud of you. Have fun! ;)"
"Thank you :) So long as I don't shit myself..." Janet typed back.
She noticed a couple people walking down the path to the pavilion with foil wrapped parcels. Here we go.
Janet put on one more layer of deodorant before donning her confident personality and setting out for the pavilion. There were a couple small groups of people setting up tables and organising food near the barbeque. Janet saw someone dragging a cooler on the gravel and jogged over to pick up a handle and help them carry it to the tables.
"Thank you! Hey, I'm Jax." The cooler owner smiled with a kind of grace that put Janet at ease.
"Janet. Nice to meet you."
"Is this your first time at one of these events?" Jax nodded to one of the tables where the cooler would go.
Janet blushed. What gave it away? She took a deep breath and decided to read it as hospitality and not carding her on her queerness.
"Yeah, it is. Seems like I've been missing out." She gestured to the spread of food being unveiled at the next table.
"I know, right? Well, welcome, Janet. It's nice to meet you and awesome to have you here. I'm just going to grab another box from my car. Be back in a sec."
As Jax walked away, Janet felt the desperate urge to check her phone to look busy. More people were arriving, and she decided she could look busy by helping. She introduced herself to the folks setting up the barbeque and confessed her lack of knowledge but eagerness to be put to work. Everyone was warm and friendly.
"Janet!?"
Janet turned to see her old coworker walking towards her with open arms.
"Hi, Elena! I didn't know you were coming." They hugged as Janet quickly processed this collision of worlds. As happy as she was to see a familiar face, Janet felt like exploring her sexuality warranted a brand new audience.
"I didn't either. My other plans fell through, and I thought the day was just too beautiful to pass up a BBQ." Elena's sundress and jean jacket made her look even more comfortable and at-ease than her attitude. She set down the cold 12-pack she brought.
"Cool, well it's good to see you. Did you come by yourself?" Janet wasn't lying at all. It was good to see Elena, and to see her here. At their old job, Janet had only thought of Elena with admiration. Her style, her body, her hips, her poise. Was that a crush that hadn't registered? Janet just thought she wanted to be her, but maybe that meant she wanted to be with her. She was starting to wonder how she felt about her now.
"Yeah. Thought I'd wing it, and I'm glad I ran into you." Elena smiled and offered Janet a beer as she took a set at the picnic table, straddling the bench to face Janet, and tucking her dress between her legs.
Janet followed suit, suddenly feeling out of her own body. She'd never sat at a picnic table like this, but it felt nice. It felt intimate. Janet had caught Elena up to speed over text about a month ago, so she knew about the open relationship and Janet's budding exploration - sex-ploration as she described it despite not having had much action.
"So how's it been? Have you been to any other meet ups?" Elena asked.
"No, this is actually the first, and honestly, I'm glad you're here because it's hard out here. Everyone is so nice, but it's all just a lot, you know?" Janet confessed.
"Totally. Well, let me be your guide." Elena smiled, and Janet thought she caught a wink.
Janet and Elena caught up on work and life. Janet felt warm and sparkly at the idea that they might be flirting, but she also wasn't sure if it was flirting at all. Were they just friends? After two beers, Janet's mind began strategizing. Should I touch her arm? Should I compliment her hair? How does this even work?
