-15-
"Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust…," the voice droned on, my brain barely comprehending the unreal scenario before my swollen, red eyes, hidden by my sunglasses.
My body was leaning against Ali's, her hands on my shoulders, steadying me as we watched the casket being lowered into the ground. The half-tab of Valium that Ali had given me before we left my condo, that morning, was helping me keep control of my nerves, preventing me from breaking down into emotional pieces.
We walked to the edge of the gravesite, both of us tossing a long-stemmed red rose down into the hole, landing on top of the casket.
Others did the same, slowly leaving the burial plot, walking towards the cars that were parked a short distance from the site.
"Goodnight, my sweet Betsy, I'm going to miss you so much," I heard my voice say, cracking as it said it, my brain still not quite connecting to this moment in time.
~
An aneurysm at the young age of fifty-four had taken Betts from me, from us, from her grieving family.
"She was getting ready for work that morning," her husband had told me between sobs at the funeral home, "and all of a sudden, she had a strange look come over her and she just collapsed; right there in our bedroom, collapsed and fell to the floor," his cries of anguish, wrenching my heart.
The next three days following that awful morning were a blur to me.
After I regained consciousness, after Ali made sure that I was alright physically, she laid me in our bed, covering me to help quiet the shivers that had overtaken my body.
When my shaking had stopped, after she had given me a Valium for my nerves, she jumped on her own cell phone, making calls, one right after the other, and my brain not fully comprehending all of the words I was hearing as she talked to several different people that morning.
She had called one of the local power-brokers in the city, told him of the situation and thanking him, had received the use of his corporate jet to fly us back to my home that very morning.
She dressed me, grabbed our stuff and drove us back to the big house, breaking every speed limit that the City of New Orleans had along our route.
Momma Jo was already there, Ali having called her, told her of the sad event that had just crashed into my world. Momma Jo had already stuffed clothes into our bags and had them ready for us.
Momma hugged me tight to her body, her tears falling from her face onto the top of my head as she held me, comforted me to her large body.
"Oh, Miz Lynn, oh child, I'm so sorry, I wish I could make it all go away for you, child," my crying causing my body to shake as she held me tight to her, her hands lovingly, soothingly rubbing my hair, the side of my face.
Shooing us out of the house after Ali had loaded our bags into the big car, Momma Jo waved us goodbye, standing under the portico, tears streaming down her face as Ali sped us out of the driveway.
She drove us to a small airport near Lake Ponchatrain, parking near the jet which was waiting for us.
The crew loaded our bags, Ali tossing her car keys to one of the hangar workers to park her car in the secured lot, next to the hangar.
She had also called Nat using my cell and introduced herself to Nat, explaining the situation.
Nat told her not to worry, that she'd be waiting for Ali's phone call, letting her know which airport we'd be landing at so that she could pick us up when we arrived.
Ali knew of Nat, of course, from our conversations, and Nat's willingness to help did not go unnoticed by Ali in that moment of sadness.
Two hours after we left New Orleans, we landed at an airport that serviced the corporate jets in my city. Nat was waiting for us at the hangar, after Ali had called and told her where to pick us up.
"Oh, Lynn, baby, I'm so, so sorry," Nat said, hugging me tight to her body, Ali loading our bags into Nat's car.
They introduced themselves to each other, formally, Ali gushing her thanks for pitching in at the last minute like this.
Nat shushed her thanks, saying to her that if she couldn't be there for me in times like this, then she wasn't much of a friend, was she?
They had decided, between themselves, that they would pick up my car from the remote lot at the International Airport where I had parked, when I left to visit Ali, a couple of weeks ago. Ali drove my car, following Nat as she drove us to our condo complex.
Both of them got me settled into my bed, the Valium that Ali had given me taking my body into much needed sleep and rest.
When I awakened a few hours later, I left my bed and walking into my kitchen, I saw Ali sitting at the counter, staring into her cup of coffee.
"Hi baby," she said softly to me, holding her arms open to me.
I leaned into her embrace, the depth of my sadness causing my stomach to ache.
"Feel like some coffee?" she asked, as she held me tight to her, her hand softly stroking my face, my hair.
"Yeah, I'd better get something into me," I answered, pulling from her arms to sit on a stool at my counter.
She fixed me a cup, set it down in front of me, kissing me sweetly on my forehead before she sat down on her own stool, next to mine.
Allowing me to take a couple of sips, when she thought I was ready to talk, she placed her hand over mine, causing me to look from my mug of coffee to her face.
"Okay, here's what I've done so far," she began.
Alice had called my office and spoke with Teri, my lead tech; the office had already heard of Betsy's demise and was in shock, of course, but between Ali and Teri, they worked out a plan for the next few days.
We had closed our office, on the day of the funeral, all of 'my troops' present to pay their respects to the matriarch of our company.
Those kids were free with their tears, wearing their sadness at Betts' passing on their sleeves; they'll miss 'mom' just as much as I will, I thought that awful afternoon when we buried her.
Teri, bless her, took over the 'Alpha' role in the office for the next couple of weeks, scheduling jobs, handling the calls; in short, running my business, and running it well, a fact not unnoticed by both Ali and myself..
I was certainly not in any shape to do it, that's for damned sure. And Ali? She made several phone calls after the funeral, making changes to her scheduled meetings and such, making plans to stay with me indefinitely, to make sure that I would be safe and well.
Ali and Teri talked every day, and anything of major importance, she'd discuss with me; if it wasn't major, Ali and Teri took care of it, whatever it was, I was totally fucking useless.
Dee, Janice, and Nat, of course, stayed in touch with me through Ali, they becoming friends with her in the process of her running my life, for now. I was to find out much later, from Dee, that they saw the deep feelings between Ali and me, and were happy for us.
In fact it was Dee who first told me, one day when she was over, while Ali was at the market picking up some groceries, that she thought that Ali and I were in love with each other.
Huh!
I knew that I loved Ali, but 'in love'? Well, that was different wasn't it? Or, was it?
I shared Dee's observation about us with Ali that evening, as we shared some wine on my small patio. She listened, looking at me the whole time I blabbered on about what Dee 'thought'.
When I fell silent, finally, she nodded her head a bit, staring into her wine glass for a bit, finally raising her eyes to look at me as she began to speak, her hand reaching to take mine in hers.
"She's not wrong, Lynn; at least, as far as my feelings for you are concerned."
