In the Moment

"Are you ok?"

Erin looked up in the bathroom mirror, one hand still wiping water from the back of her neck. Kailin met her eyes in the glass, her full lips quirking to the left.

Must have followed me in

, Erin thought, and ducked her head, embarrassed.

"Hey, it's ok," Kailin said, and came over to hitch herself up onto the counter. Another girl shouldered in through the door and made for a stall, already unzipping her jeans. Kailin smirked at Erin, who found a ghost of a smile to return. "It's pretty intense out there tonight."

"You fourth years know how to party," Erin said, examining her face again. She was pretty flushed – drinking always did that to her. Her eyes were wide and glassy and red at the rims. She hadn't even taken a hit on the joint, but apparently second hand smoke worked just as well. She leaned in closer, mildly intrigued by the way the fluorescent lights made all her pores seem really obvious.

"You sure you're ok?" Kailin asked, half laughing.

Erin supposed this was nothing new to her. Kailin was 23, she was graduating from the Theatre program this spring, and she was the TA in Prof Dunkirk's

Acting Theory and Practice

and he was known for throwing crazy parties.

"I'm ok," she said. "I'm just. I'm a little high."

Kailin leaned over and looked directly into Erin's face. Her breath smelled like peppermint schnapps. "Yeah, you're ok," she agreed.

"I'm just going to stay in here for a while," Erin said.

The other girl came out of her stall and half fell against the counter. She washed her hands, giggling all the while, moving her hips to the pervasive beat of the music out on the dance floor. She dried her hands on the ass of her jeans and then grinned foolishly at Erin and Kailin before wavering out the door again.

"Now

she's

fucked up," said Kailin and laughed. "But she probably wants to be."

"Yeah," said Erin. "But I'm just going to – "

"Stay in here a while, yeah. It's ok." Kailin swung her legs a bit and smiled at her. "I'll stay too, I think. It's a bit loud out there."

Erin nodded and wished desperately that she had something interesting to say. Kailin was so cool. So gorgeous, all long and lanky and androgenous. And she could really act, she was talented. And good at teaching, too. And she seemed to know everyone in the department, was on first name basis with all the professors. Erin had been nursing a platonic little crush on her for months now, and this amount of personal attention was both gratifying and slightly scary.

"You did really good on that last scene," Kailin said, breaking the silence.

"Really?" Erin smiled and then shook her head. "No, I still wasn't really, you know, in the moment…"

"Well, not for all of it. But the part where Henry says to Madelaine that he's going to take the dog, and you have that line about if he touches the dog, she's going to bite him? It's such a hard line, desperate and funny and furious. You got it perfectly. Everyone laughed."

"Well, one line," Erin said.

"But that's where it starts," said Kailin, leaning forward. "That's how it has to start, with one line. One word, sometimes, that you can actually feel and forget about yourself, forget all the fucking junk getting in your way. You get one line, that's all you need, baby. Just wait. You'll see. Next week it's going to be that whole exchange, and then the whole scene." Kailin slid off the counter and poked Erin in the shoulder. "You do know that you're talented, right?"

"I'm not," Erin said reflexively. "Megan – "

"Megan is big," Kailin said. "She's got big moves. But it's not real, you know? It's funny, and it's sort of slick, but it's not real. She can make you smile but she's never going to change anyone's life."

Erin laughed a little bit, nervously. "I'm going to change someone's life," she said.

"Sure." Kailin was really close to her now. "You've got something. You're like, really in your body." She trailed fingers down Erin's right arm to her hand, and then took it in her own and turned it palm up. "You've got this way of moving, like your body knows something that your mind hasn't figured out yet. It's really honest."

Erin felt paralyzed. A wave of heat passed up her spine and left her dizzy. Kailin's fingers on her hand seemed very warm. She was pressing her thumb against Erin's palm, kneading it gently. She was standing very close.

The door opened again and three girls came through together, laughing and stumbling on their high heels. Erin flushed and tried to pull away. Kailin held on, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth. The girls went into stalls. Kailin leaned forward and kissed her.

She kissed really well. A soft brush of lips first, and then a firmer pressure, nipping gently on Erin's lower lip, one hand coming up to her jaw, sliding slowly into her hair, pulling her closer as the moist peppermint lips of this sexy glorious girl parted and coaxed hers apart and then Kailin's tongue licked quickly, lightly against her upper lip and was gone.

Kailin stepped back, smiling. "You see?" she said, low and intimate. "Your body knows." She paused for a second, a considering look on her face, and then she grabbed Erin's hand and pulled – well, dragged – her to the farthest stall and in.

Erin gasped a little as Kailin shot the bolt on the door, and fell back against the graffiti on the wall.

"I'm going to kiss you," said Kailin, "until you tell me to stop." The look on her face was indescribable, half hilarity, half savage. She looked a little bit deranged, and unbelievably hot.

"I don't know if I like girls," Erin whispered. She'd fooled around, kissed friends at bars for free drinks, putting on a show, but never in private, never for

real

.

"You'll know pretty soon," said Kailin, and came at her.

It was an assault, and for the first few seconds Erin was fairly sure she

didn't

like it. Kailin crushed her against the wall, leaning in, forcing the air from her lungs, and mashed their mouths together. It was expertly done; no bitten lips or awkward angles, but Erin could hardly get her breath back, and Kailin's hands were gripping her at the waist and in her hair, and she felt like a kitten must feel when pick up by the scruff of the neck. Unhappy, uncomfortable, and totally helpless.

But then Kailin shifted, and pressed her thigh in between Erin's, and the hand in her hair loosened. Fingertips massaged her scalp. Kailin tipped her face further to the left and slowed down a trifle, letting her tongue glide instead of thrust, letting Erin get a bit of breath back. And then it was suddenly hot in the stall, very hot. Erin panted a little against Kailin's mouth. She put her hand on the other's girl's shoulders.

"Mmmm," said Kailin, and broke the kiss to trail her lips over to Erin's ear. "What's the verdict?" she whispered, directly into the hollows and curves there. A wave of goosebumps raced down Erin's side. Kailin licked the spot right behind her earlobe and Erin gasped again, feeling like she was drowning, like there wasn't enough oxygen in the stall.

"Nothing to say?" Kailin went on. She bit gently down on Erin's earlobe.

"Oh, god," Erin said.

"I'm going to kiss you until you tell me to stop," Kailin said. "And if you don't tell me to stop I might just fuck you, right here in the bathroom in this skanky bar."

Erin was totally unable to speak. When Kailin said 'fuck,' right into her ear like that, her whole body contracted sharply. She was abruptly as turned on as she'd ever been in her life.

"You don't have to do anything," Kailin went on. "In fact, nothing is exactly what you have to do. I'll do it all. Everything I've wanted to do since the year began, every dirty thing I thought about every day in rehearsal, every hot, filthy thing I imagined when I lay in bed at night touching myself because I never thought I'd actually get this close to you." Kailin began moving her jean-clad thigh, pushing it further between Erin's, forcing her miniskirt up her legs. When Erin tried to reach down and clutch at it, Kailin grabbed her hands and pushed them against the wall.

She pulled back and looked Erin in the eyes, her face serious, her gaze searching. "Do you want to say something, Erin?" she asked, and tightened the muscles in her thigh, pushing it against Erin's crotch, which felt hot and liquid. "Do you want to

do

something?"

Erin shook her head, hypnotized. Kailin thought about her? Thought

dirty things?

Kailin smiled. "That's right," she said. "That's just right."

They kissed again, and this time

they

were kissing, Erin opening her mouth underneath the older girl's, lifting her hips away from the wall and against Kailin's thigh. It was dim back here, the music muted to a low bass rumble that Erin could feel in the wall against her back. It felt like a dream, like a safe space to forget the rules.

Kailin ran her hands up underneath Erin's tanktop, and they broke the kiss long enough to pull it over her head. Kailin grinned and hung it on the hook on the back of the stall door, and then quickly ditched her own shirt, a brief tube top. She was naked underneath, her tiny round breasts tipped with amazingly large nipples, erect and proud. She took one of Erin's hands and put it on her left breast, and then leaned into the kiss again, fingers deftly working the clasp of Erin's bra.

"Oh god, you've got great tits," she said, nearly moaned, as the cups fell away, and then bent her head to take one of Erin's nipples in her mouth.

Erin stuck her fist in her mouth to stifle the noise.

Someone banged on the stall door, making Erin jump. "Hey, there's people waiting to piss!"

"Go away, we're fucking!" Kailin shouted, and then she kissed Erin again, the two of them giggling madly as the person on the other side started to laugh.

"Can I watch?"

"Oh my god, leave them alone," said another voice, and then they heard feet clattering away. The door to the bathroom wheezed open and then shut again.

"Lift your foot," said Kailin urgently, tugging at Erin's panties. "A thong, holy shit, you nasty girl." She tossed it on the tank of the toilet and then went to her knees. "Put your foot on the toilet." She shoved at Erin's skirt.

Erin leaned her head back against the wall, her brain reeling. She wound her fingers into Kailin's springy redbrown hair and then caught her breath as she felt the first touch of tongue against her. Kailin pressed her palms against Erin's naked butt and pulled, angling her hips up and forward.

"Mmmm," she hummed into Erin's pussy. Her tongue delved, hot and slick and wriggling between the folds.

"Oh my god," said Erin, and clenched her fist in Kailin's hair.

"Good?" Kailin murmured, and then went back to work, interspersing long deep licks with featherlight lipping of Erin's clit.

"Oh shit, oh god, oh god that's really good, Kailin, oh," Erin babbled, her toes curling up in her shoes. An ex-boyfriend of hers had gone down on her a few times during their relationship, but it had been nothing like this.

Kailin brought one hand around and slid two fingers into Erin. Erin arched her back and let out a little sob. Kailin began to thrust with her fingers, curling them forward each time she brought them down, and Erin felt something begin to build, to fill like hot syrup filling a cup. Kailin firmed her tongue and began to strum it on Erin's clit as her fingers sped up, working them in concert, working them on Erin, working them harder and harder until the cup overflowed, the cup spilt, the cup broke fucking open and poured golden glory everywhere.

Erin panted, her breasts quivering, her sweaty back pressed against the cool bricks behind her. Kailin stood up and pulled some toilet paper to wipe her face and hand, grinning smugly at Erin all the while.

"I knew you'd like it," she said, and then gently took the handful of toilet paper and wiped Erin dry. The contact made Erin twitch slightly, her clit leaping in overstressed aftershocks. "I want to take you back to my place and do things to you," said Kailin directly. "And then have you do things to me. All night. Until we can't fucking walk. Alright?"

"Alright," whispered Erin. She reached out and cupped Kailin's little breast again, and then ran her thumb down over the nipple in the way that she always liked when boys did it to her. Kailin's eyelids drooped and her mouth came open a little, and Erin leaned forward and kissed her. There was a half-sweet, half-salt taste on the other girl's lips.

That's me

, Erin thought, and desire stabbed through her belly. "Anything you want," she said.

"Ooh, fuck," said Kailin. "Let's get out of here." She pulled away and began to struggle into her tube top.

They dodged the rest of the theatre crowd by circling around the dance floor, but Erin was sure that there were a few knowing looks cast their way. She couldn't stop grinning as Kailin towed her toward the doors, their fingers entwined. The bouncer looked at their sweaty disarray and grinned back at her.

"Work it, sugarlips!" he shouted after them as they went down the street where the cabs were parked.

"Oh baby, you have no idea," Erin yelled back. Kailin burst out laughing, turned around, and flashed her tits to the entire crowd waiting in line.

"Yeah," someone screamed, and there was a smattering of applause.

They fell into the cab, clutching one another and chortling. The cabbie looked at them in the rearview mirror, eyebrows raised.

Kailin got herself under control and gave him her address. As he pulled away from the curb, Erin suddenly squirmed on the seat, a horrible realization dawning on her.

"Oh shit," she said. "Kailin I left my – " she glanced at the cabbie and then lowered her voice. "We left my thong in the stall."

"What?" Kailin started laughing again. "Oh my god. I hope someone treasures it."

"It's not funny," Erin protested futilely, tugging her miniskirt down, trying to get it between her ass and the carseat. She was giggling too, uncontrollably. Sex with girls was bad for the brain, apparently. Or maybe it was the pot.

"It isn't funny," Kailin agreed, and pulled Erin into her arms. "It's hot," she said into Erin's ear. "It's really fucking sexy, thinking of you sitting there all bare pussy to the world. Spread your legs."

"No," Erin said. "What?"

"C'mon," Kailin coaxed, and put a hand down between Erin's thighs.

Erin bit her lip and looked at the cabbie, who seemed intent on the road. She spread her legs.

Kailin, with devastating slowness, slid a finger up between her labia, over her clit, then down again, slowly, oh so slowly into her. She was still so goddamn wet inside, there was no resistance, just liquid surrender. Kailin stroked the one finger in and out a few times, then added another one. Erin resisted the urge to pump her hips, watching the back of the cabbie's head, watching to see if he was looking back at them. Kailin added a third finger, stretching her slightly. She bit her tongue and began to move, silently.

"We're almost there," Kailin said brightly, as if nothing was going on. The cab began to slow down, and as they pulled to the curb, she put her thumb at the base of Erin's clit and strummed it once, like a guitar string. As Erin came, biting her lips together, Kailin leaned forward between her and the cabbie, ostensibly to check the fare on the little counter on the dash.

"Eight fitty," the cabbie said, and grunted slightly when Kailin gave him a ten and told him to keep the change.

Once again, Kailin took Erin's hand and pulled her along, through the entryway of the apartment building, into the elevator, where they kissed all the way up to the eighth floor, then down the hall and into Kailin's apartment, a loft with a great view of the old warehouse district, now a center of independent galleries and clubs and boutiques. Not that Erin saw much of the view. Kailin was kissing her again, pushing her up against the door as it closed, tugging on her clothing.

"Get naked," she said as she peeled out of the tube top and dropped it on the floor. "I want to see you naked, I want to see you walking around totally bare."

It was strange to be nude with another girl. It was all soft and smooth and round, totally different than being with a guy. It felt like there was nothing to hold on to, that all they could do was just clasp and slide against one another, everything one long, extended caress. They were on Kailin's bed, just kissing and moving their hands up and down each other's bodies in long, uninterrupted sweeps. Kailin stretched like a cat under Erin's hands, hummed and murmured and arched. Erin put her hand between Kailin's legs and felt the heat there, felt the wet.

"Oh, sweet little Erin," Kailin sighed. "Do what you want."

"What do

you

want?" Erin asked, stroking. Everything familiar and yet not.

"Fuck me with your tongue," Kailin said. "Or just keep do – oh! – doing that."

"I might need some practice," Erin said, blushing. "I don't want to be bad at it."

"All you need is one line," said Kailin, taking Erin's face in her hands. "I don't mind a bit of rehearsal."

Erin slid down the bed. Kailin smelled, well, good. Different from her own smell, maybe sharper?

A sharper bouquet

, she thought, then began to giggle again, thinking about wine tasting, thinking about oak barrels and notes of citrus.

"What's so funny, you wretched tease?" Kailin demanded from further up.

"Nothing," said Erin.

Kailin was open like a flower. However clichéd that was, it was true. Inner and outer lips trembled like blossom, full and pink, glistening. Erin touched them, gently, brought her fingertips to her mouth, tasted.

Full bodied

, she thought, and was destroyed by giggles again.

"I swear to god, if you don't –" Kailin began, but got no further.

Erin began by imitating what Kailin had done at the bar; a gentle lick, a shallow delving, two fingers inside. Then, as Kailin writhed and lifted her hips upward, offering herself like a bowl of fruit, Erin slowed down, got adventuresome, began to enjoy herself, enjoy the slick sensations, the textures, the way that Kailin's clit leapt and trembled under her ministrations like a tiny, adorable cock. She wrapped her lips around it and hummed.

Kailin wailed, clutching at the sheets. Erin waited until she began to relax a bit and then gave up on subtlety and sucked on the little nubbin, hard. The reaction was almost frightening. Kailin's head went back, her back bowed, every muscle sprang into sharp relief on her lean body. She strained, trembling, and then collapsed.

Erin, nearly bucked off by this astonishing spasm, lay across her legs and cupped a hand gently over Kailin's crotch.

"Holy Christ," said Kailin, weakly. "Wow. That wasn't any rehearsal. Opening night. Standing ovation."

"Some kind of O, anyway," said Erin, and they snickered happily together.

"Come up here," said Kailin.

Erin crawled up and lay down in the curve of Kailin's arm.

"I'm thirsty," said Kailin.

"I could get some water," offered Erin.

"You can still walk?"

"I think so."

"Then," said Kailin, and abruptly rolled over on top of her, "we aren't done yet, are we?"