IN HER COUSIN'S FOOTSTEPS - Part Eight
"That night? You mean in the sorority?" Lacey sat up and reached for her yoga shorts as she asked.
"Yes, THAT night. The blackout... I know... Jesus, I know what happened."
Lacey wanted to ask but knew that she had to let Kristi process the new and probably traumatic revelation first.
They sat quietly as they dressed. The mood clearly passed.
"I can't blame them anymore. I need to figure out what to tell Cyndi, if anything," Kristi said, shaking her head.
"She'll probably hate me when she learns the truth. It's so strange. It's my fault that we didn't get in." She trailed off, again in thought.
Snapping out of it, she asked, "Want to run with me? Two or three laps around the field?" Kristi didn't wait for an answer. She fixed her t-shirt and adjusted her shorts before stepping out of the dugout and slowly jogging.
Lacey followed and caught up with her near the right field fence. They ran without speaking and Kristi picked up the pace, leaving her far behind. More than two laps later, Kristi nearly passed her before stepping back into the dugout, followed by Lacey several minutes later.
Both were winded, and they took a few minutes to catch their breath before Kristi finally said, "Sorry Lace. I needed that. Needed to burn off my frustration. It feels good sometimes to just go 'all out'."
Lacey didn't comment, not that she didn't want to. She literally
couldn't
after running the laps.
Kristi couldn't hold back anymore as she stared out at the desolate field. "All this time I was worried about some disgusting video surfacing. I just always imagined the worst, that we'd be 'outed' for something that happened during our blackouts."
She continued, with Lacey's full attention. "It all makes sense now -- all of it. The flashbacks, the confusion. It's like a strobe light -- my memory of it. Just snapshots, all kind of coming together." She hesitated. "If I tell you, promise you won't think less of me?"
Lacey tried to catch her breath, saying coarsely, "I promise. Of course I promise."
Kristi looked at her and debated whether to share, but knew that she had to tell someone.
"Remember the stuff I told you already, about the stupid juvenile hazing thing? The fake cocks in our shorts. The evil girls making us suck them when we were pledging? "
Lacey nodded, unsure where it was going from there.
"Until today, the last thing I could remember was having to decide which of the panties that they laid out on the dining room table belonged to them. They made us think that if we got them right we'd probably be 'in.' I remember feeling really dizzy, and both Cyndi and I went over to the dining room table to look at them. We were both giggling. I was thinking I could tell by the sizes, because -- well, you already saw Stacy. She probably weighs 120 pounds soaking wet, and Andrea was pretty big."
She hesitated, then continued. "They watched us for a few minutes. Then it got stranger. They got meaner. I remember seeing Andrea pushing Cyndi's face down hard into one pair of panties and the plate. I felt my adrenaline building. I remember someone - I guess it was Stacy - holding my hands behind my back and guiding me to each pair. Stacy told me to guess which were hers, and I couldn't. By that time I think Cyndi was passed out, so it was just me. "
Kristi sat quietly, trying to piece together details while Lacey rubbed her shoulders lightly. Finally, she continued. "I felt like I was out of my body and looking down through one of those distorted carnival mirrors at myself. Stacy said something threatening like, 'choose wisely, pledge. You're out if you don't. Want a hint?' "
"I remember saying yes, and even though I'm much stronger, she tugged me over to the couch. She was in a cute yellow top and a white jeans skirt. I remember earlier that night thinking that if she wasn't such a bitch that she was really kind of hot. She told me she'd give me something to compare them to. I watched her lay back and part her legs, almost the same position you were in on the bench earlier. She reached down and lifted her skirt, and I hate to say but I think I wanted to see her like that. I felt Andrea behind me, pushing me forward. I knew I was going to submit, and it kind of turned me on to be honest. I remember that she wasn't 'like us' down there. I mean, she was totally shaved, and I remember feeling my knees getting wobbly." She hesitated before asking, "Should I stop?"
Lacey shook her head sideways as she listened intently. Kristi thought before continuing quietly.
"Anyway, I knew - I mean I think I always knew - that I was curious about girls. I couldn't even say that they were forcing me at that point. I felt myself getting down on my knees and I kept looking between her legs. Sorry Lace, but it was my first chance to 'know.' The more I looked, the more I knew that I wanted to taste her there, even though she was a horrible person. Something took over me. I had no inhibitions by that point, and I knew that I needed to do it to get into the sorority. I didn't even have a chance to kiss her down there before I saw her looking over my shoulder at Andrea. I couldn't believe it. Andrea had her phone out, recording us."
"They were both laughing, and Stacy told Andrea to just make sure her face wasn't showing in the video. She reached for my hair and tried to pull me down between her legs. I think that's when I totally flipped out. I got up and I remember telling Andrea to give me her phone. It's still hazy, but I remember her smirking and saying something like, 'yeah right.' That's when I think I grabbed it and may have hit her. I'm not really clear but I know she fell backward."
She continued. "I tried to delete the videos while she kept trying to get the phone back. I pushed her down onto the floor and was trying to open the phone to get that little card thing out, but I couldn't. I panicked and ended up smashing it against the counter."
Kristi tried to remember more. "I think I threw one of the broken pieces at Andrea. I was so pissed and embarrassed. Stacy didn't know what to do, and I just remember hearing her saying, 'you're SO screwed -- so fucking screwed.' I remember crying and staggering to the bedroom."
She was quiet as if still trying to digest it all, before saying, "Your phone -- your phone brought it all out. I don't know what I hate more about myself, that I actually would have done stuff with Stacy, or that I felt like I wanted to hurt them - bad. Cyndi was looking stuff up after that and she thinks they might have given us ecstasy or something without us knowing it."
"Anyway, who could blame them for kicking us out after that? I would have if I was them."
"Kristi," Lacey said quietly, reaching for her hand, "They backed you into a corner. They're the ones that violated you, violated your privacy. They forced you to stand up to them. You can't blame yourself."
"I know. But I think what I hate most is that I would have, willingly, you know? If it wasn't for that phone, who knows what I would have done?"
"Kristi, I know we have only been together for a little more than a week, but I KNOW you. You're a good person. You're kind. You're patient. You're considerate. God, Kristi, you're so easy to ..."
She stopped herself, almost saying, "to fall in love with."
Kristi smiled and pressed her head against Lacey's shoulder. "Thanks Lace. You probably don't realize it, but you...you changed my life."
Lacey sat there, relishing the physical and emotional closeness. They remained in that position for several minutes, so far removed from the animal passion of earlier, yet somehow so much closer.
Kristi reluctantly lifted her head. "I guess we better get going."
Lacey nodded, and they packed up for the drive back.
"I guess we can start later tomorrow. Meet at 9:30, my place? We can hit the cages again. I think we still have like twenty tokens so it's not like we'll even need to flirt with Connie," Kristi smiled.
"Okay, but...can we come back here again afterward?"
Kristi bit her lip. "Okay, you twisted my arm!"
The next day was nearly a repeat, and both girls struggled to focus in the cage with thoughts of another private 'lesson' afterward. Connie -- a former first team All-American college player -- came out to the cage and watched. Although she clearly had an ulterior motive, she actually gave both of them some good pointers. By the last round Lacey was leveling off on most of the pitches, even increasing the speed to near-competitive levels.
With the final swing, they heard thunder nearby, so they quickly thanked Connie and reluctantly packed up, hurrying to the car just as the skies opened up.
"Sorry Lace. I guess our dugout visit will have to wait for another day. Wanna just meet at the high school field tomorrow? We can do some fielding there, then maybe find a spot after?"
