Have you ever noticed how much you can see in the dark once your eyes become accustomed to it? I made this discovery at 3:17 a.m. as I lay in my hotel bed, wide awake, reviewing what had just happened and reflecting on how my life had changed.
The blinking red light on the fire alarm on the ceiling; the thin, vertical slits of light that penetrated at the edges of the room-darkening curtains; the digital alarm clock numerals showing 3:17 in muted red – I could see all of them and their light enabled me to pick out shapes in the room as well. I looked to my left and there, in her bed, lay Caroline, blissfully unaware that I was losing my mind as she dreamed peaceful, calming dreams.
I started by thinking back on our night together. Our lovemaking had been unbelievable, stunning to me. The newness of being with a woman and taking in her scent and her softness had been undeniably wonderful. Such a contrast to what I had known with my husband and my only other lover, a guy who I thought I had loved at my college.
Sex with them was great. I loved the power of masculinity, the rawness as they approached their orgasms, but this, with Caroline, had been so different. It was patient and . . . what's the word . . . attentive. She had taken her time and seemed to seek out every experience that could heighten my pleasure. And after we had both reached our heights of passion, the pleasuring had continued. Gentle touching and exploring of our bodies, both in bed and in that glorious shower, as we took turns scrubbing each other clean. And then to bed – to our own beds we had decided – to catch up on the sleep that we both badly needed.
And I did sleep for awhile, but, now, I was wired. The contented reflections on our night gave way, inevitably, to remorse over the fact that I had indeed cheated on Richard and fear that I could be found out. Thoughts piled on top of thoughts as I realized that this woman (who I barely knew, after all) now knew me intimately and could harm me with this knowledge. Who knew if she was stable? What if she was some possessive nut who would intrude on my family life or if she might be a blabber who would think it funny to let everyone in on our secret liaison? The more I thought, the more irrational I became until I was ready to bolt from my bed and run from the room in my nightgown.
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. Easy, Em, I thought, let's not get crazy. I turned slightly and looked at Caroline. My eyes could just make out her shape and, as I watched, she sighed slightly and turned toward me. She was uncovered and her white nightgown was slightly unkempt, falling from her left shoulder to reveal the swell of her breasts. It was extremely erotic by itself but when her hand involuntarily moved to her hip and hiked the garment up a bit, exposing the full length of her leg, it moved to another level and I was lost. All the fears melted away and I knew, absolutely knew, that Caroline was in my system and she wasn't going away.
I stared at her for minutes hoping that she would continue to explore herself in her sleep but the beauty of the moment must have served as a sedative because the next thing I remember was the shrill sound of the alarm clock signaling the beginning of another day. Apparently, Caroline had the strength of will to turn it off because I failed to stir until a gentle pushing on my shoulder brought me around.
"Emily. Emily. It's time to get up." Caroline's voice was like liquid honey and eventually did the trick. She gradually came into focus above me and I was shocked to see her fully dressed.
"What time is it?" I asked from what seemed to be a cotton-filled mouth.
"It's almost 8:00. I let you sleep while I made use of the shower and bathroom. It's all yours now and breakfast should be arriving in the next 15 minutes or so, so look alive, sailor."
I forced myself to rise and thought of how awful I must look in comparison to this beautifully put together woman standing beside me. "Don't look at me," I pleaded.
Caroline smiled and responded, "You look adorable. It's all I can do not to attack you." She patted my bottom as I passed her on the way to the bathroom and I rather wished that she had undertaken that attack.
We had our breakfast and chatted about the day ahead. The morning session went from 10:00 until noon, followed by lunch and an afternoon meeting with closing speeches that ran until 4:00. Caroline instructed me not to make any dinner plans, saying, "I have something special planned just for the two of us. We'll have time to have a snack after the conference and then we're off."
"No hints?" I asked. "How should I dress?"
She hesitated and answered, "Smartly. We're going someplace really nice."
I stood up and walked over to her. "Can I kiss a clue out of you?" I bent and placed my lips on hers. Kissing her was the most delightful experience. She had the softest, fullest lips and I made sure to inhale to take in her fresh, subtle scent.
"Nice try," she said when she broke away from my advance. "But you'll have to wait. Now let's get on our way."
* * *
Caroline and I went our separate ways in the morning session. I spent some time in a small seminar, meeting up with one of the women with whom we had dined the previous night. At one point, during a break, she took me aside and, with little preamble, looked me in the eye and said, "Emily, you need to be careful."
I had no idea what she meant. "Excuse me?" I said in a confused voice.
She sighed. "Look, it's none of my business, but, if you and Caroline are involved in some way, you need to be more discreet than you were last night." If she was watching carefully, I'm sure she saw me sag noticeably. I could feel my knees buckle at the thought that I had been found out.
"What are you saying?" I asked, knowing full well.
"At dinner, you two were exchanging looks that were unmistakable. You could have lit a theater marquee with the electricity you were generating. Now, again, you don't need to worry about me. As a matter of fact, I thought it was sweet, but others might not share my . . . acceptance. So, be careful, dearie." With that, she patted my arm and walked away before I could even mutter a denial.
Wow. After my insomnia trauma last night, I needed this like a hole in the head. I did my best to hold onto my composure as I returned to the seminar and lasted until the buffet luncheon where I related the exchange to Caroline. She took it in far better spirit than I had.
"Why, that jealous hag!" she laughed. "She just wishes you were giving her those gaga eyes of yours."
"Well, apparently, the gaga-ing was mutual," I answered. "It wasn't just me and we really need to be more discreet."
"Okay, Emily. I promise to ignore you mightily . . . until I get you alone. Then, you'd better watch out. Now, eat your greens." She serenely returned to her meal and I decided to relax and do the same.
* * *
The afternoon session passed quickly and we returned to our hotel room where, at Caroline's suggestion, we both got undressed down to our undies and took a nap wrapped in each other's arms. It was heavenly. There was a peck or two and some gentle stroking of cheeks and arms, but we actually did fall asleep. It was undeniable to me that I truly cared for this woman. I felt as ease with her and thanked the fates that had conspired to bring us together.
We had a light snack of sandwiches and tea thanks to our good friends at room service and then got ready for what I now referred to as our mystery date. I put on a charcoal-colored suit over an ivory blouse that plunged to show just a hint of décolletage. A strand of pearls completed the look and I was happy with the effect.
I couldn't help watching as Caroline got dressed. All these years of women's dressing rooms at clothing stores, locker rooms at the gym, and I had never so much as snuck a glance at another woman. Suddenly, there was a woman whose body mesmerized me and here she was, mere feet away, apparently unaware that her reverse striptease was driving me crazy. She was utterly at ease in her state of undress and I drank her in. Her glorious breasts, round and firm with large areolas surrounding nipples that were begging to be sucked on. Her bottom, large but without a bit of sag, and her long, tanned legs that led to a delta-shaped pussy that I had licked at less than 24 hours earlier. As I stared, I felt a moist tingly signal beginning to form in my own private region. I fought the urge to attack her right then and there and instead just watched as she donned her elegant bra and panties. Finally, she slipped into a rich burgundy dress which was a perfect match to her dark beauty. We exchanged compliments and were off at 7:30, bound for who knows where.
A taxi took us a short distance and I immediately knew where we were. How could one not recognize the vast courtyard and fountain at Lincoln Center? We got out and I grinned as I asked, "The opera?" Caroline shook her head from side to side.
"It's ballet night, Emily. We're here to see
Giselle
."
Now, all girls go through a stage in their adolescence when they are totally smitten with either ballet or horses. Me, I was a horse girl who begged first for riding lessons and then a horse of my own. My parents held firm and I outgrew the phase. My experience with ballet was quite limited so I found myself excited at the opportunity to see a great company in a wonderful hall.
Our seats were center orchestra about 10 rows from the stage so I got to drink in the beauty of the performance from close range. It was just wonderful. The first act was full of happy peasant dances but ended with the heroine's collapse and death. After intermission (during which we sipped champagne at a bar in the lobby), the mood got even darker as the dead Giselle joined a group called the Wilis in ceremonial dances of death. She ended up saving her hero, Albrecht, from the Wilis' clutches and did a duet with him that overwhelmed me. The dreamlike music, the darkened set, and especially the amazing lifts that the couple performed were stunning. I had tears rolling down my cheeks when I felt Caroline's hand on top of mine and looked to see that she, too, was profoundly affected by the mood. I left the theater a newly-christened balletophile.
The streets on the Upper West Side where alive when we left Lincoln Center so we decided to walk the relatively short distance to our hotel. Arm in arm, we strode on and I expressed how grateful I was to have been exposed to such a glorious work of art.
"I knew you'd love it," Caroline said. "You have the soul to appreciate it." Right there, on West 58
