Out of the corner of my eye I watched the pretty little black-haired girl. She looked to be about 18 or 19, no more than 5'2" tall, and rail-thin. By her somewhat dark complexion and exotic facial features I knew she was some kind of racial mix, but not exactly what. I couldn't tell how she was built under the at least three layers of clothes she wore to stay warm in the bone-chilling damp Seattle winter, but her hands were thin and almost blue with cold when she came in each evening. Her face had the pinched, slightly starved look I saw too often among the female homeless, and the fear in her eyes whenever a man sat too close. I didn't know if she had already been raped, or if she was still in fear of the inevitable. Rape was a fact of life for homeless women and girls.
She had all the hallmarks of a girl who had to flee home, or had been kicked out, and was woefully unprepared to live on the streets.
I volunteered at the soup kitchen twice a week for the past six months, and this girl had first shown up about two months ago. She never sat with anyone else, male or female, and usually disappeared before dinner ended. Most of the homeless who ate at the soup kitchen stayed as long as they could in the dry warmth. She would eat her dinner ravenously, then disappear into one of the locking shower rooms. I suspect she also washed her clothes in the shower, because she always emerged clean and in clean clothes.
In short, she was perfect.
I'm no predator, I wasn't out to hurt the girl. But I did need a wife, and in short order, and this girl needed help. It's complicated, but basically in my line of work I was expected to have a spouse and kids, and have the model of a perfect family. However, I'm a lesbian, and I really don't have time to meet women socially. Not with the kind of time it takes to find someone, then go through the dating process. I also have a soft spot in my heart for girls who end up on the street because of ugly family dynamics.
Because I was one only ten years ago. I got lucky - I managed to get my high school diploma before fleeing my abusive home, and only spent a year on the streets before I found myself picked up by a program that helped me get my university degree. Now, at 28 years old I earn a healthy six-figure income and bought a small but luxurious house in the Queen Anne neighborhood.
However, after six years on the job, I'm up for a promotion, and pretty much everyone at that level of management have families. It's a big part of their social interaction, showing off their beautiful spouses and gorgeous kids, and those who are still single are looked on in askance, top level management wondering if they are willing to commit themselves. Those with commitment issues might not be the best for the company. And it was a very good, very family-friendly company.
I admit I led them on for about a year, talking about my gorgeous girlfriend - they didn't have a problem with my being lesbian. I also hinted that I planned to propose.
I'm not butch at all, mostly a "lipstick lesbian" with occasional tomboy interests. I love football and other sports, but day to day I like my skirt suits, high heels, and makeup. Actually I'm quite bisexual, but I haven't yet met a man who could handle my career drive and success without expecting me to back down and become a willing baby factory and at least temporary full-time homemaker while the kids are little. Men are only for a bit of play, as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, I'm a bit old-fashioned. I think at least one person should be the leader in a relationship, and the other a follower. One is the homemaker, the other the breadwinner. It's not a domination game, but rather each has a value in the home. I once looked up what it would cost to simply hire someone who does everything a homemaker does; hostessing, cooking, cleaning, child care, home management, etcetera, and if they were paid what they're worth, they'd make more than I do. So, I have great respect for homemakers.
But our society doesn't raise girls that way anymore. Girls are no more likely than boys to know how to cook a good meal, or hostess a formal dinner party, or even how to be a proper guest. I needed a wife who I could train. Someone who would appreciate what I do for them. But also someone I felt something for. I wasn't about to go into a loveless relationship.
One night I dreamt of myself, as the homeless girl I once was, of what might have happened if I had been picked up by a "sugar daddy" instead of the college program I was selected for. My life would have been so different. I figure I probably would have been happy, but college had whet my appetite for the world of high tech. By the time I had my engineering degree and a minor in business - graduated summa cum laude, my entire outlook on life had changed.
So here I was, looking for a candidate to be my wife, to be a "sugar mommy," I guess. It was weird, and felt a bit wrong, But this girl in the corner tugged at my heart. Not in pity, but something else. She was far from sexually enticing, especially in her condition. She never stank like many of the homeless did, though her hair fell lank with ill health and her eyes were dull, there was something about her that made me care about her. I often snuck her a second serving of whatever she seemed to like the most in the day's offering, and she smiled at me shyly and we'd exchanged a few words. She still hadn't told me her name, though.
Tonight was a good opportunity, I hoped. It was very cold out, unusually cold for Seattle, and watched as the girl put her tray in the tray return area and headed for the showers, her backpack slung over her back.
I waited about twenty minutes and told the volunteer coordinator I needed to head out early. She nodded. It was about three weeks until Christmas, and the holidays always brought out extra volunteers. They wouldn't be short-handed without me.
I grabbed my coat and bag and managed to time my departure to be heading out the door just as the girl emerged from the showers, her hair still wet. I pretended not to see her and bumped into her, knocking her into the door frame.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you," I gushed an apology and steadied her with my hands. She didn't flinch or pull away. I held back my smile.
"That's okay. I know I'm short," she mumbled and began to pull away.
"You're alone, aren't you? Do you have a safe, warm place tonight?" I asked, knowing the real answer, and knowing what her answer would be.
"I have a place," she replied quickly, and turned to leave.
I put a hand on her shoulder and turned her toward me, a disbelieving scowl. "Bullshit. You may have a place but I bet it's not warm or safe."
The shyness in her eyes was replaced with anger and wariness. "So what. You're some rich lady who comes down here to feel better about yourself.
I took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I was once where you are now, and someone helped me once. Now it's time to pay it forward. I'd like to help you. I have an extra bedroom, clean and warm. No men. It's just me in the house."
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. I didn't blame her. I knew of the women who forced prostitution