In the aftermath of her mother's admission to having an affair with another woman, Lisa is finding it hard to put her newfound feelings for Siobhan to just a passing fancy. She isn't entirely sure if she's gay but right now she feels as if something has to happen to produce the spark, but Lisa isn't sure if she has what it takes to take things further.
It wasn't the alarm that woke her that next morning, it was the telephone and it took her a moment to register that it was Siobhan on the other end of the line.
"Can you do me a big favour this morning?"
"Sure, anything," she replied.
"Pick me up? I must have left my parking lights on all night because I noticed they were on this morning when I looked out the window, and when I tried to start the car the battery was just about dead."
"God, it must be contagious," Lisa giggled, "okay, I'll grab a shower, see you soon."
Her outfit that morning consisted of a pencil skirt fastened with black buttons she'd made some time ago and the pussybow blouse she'd worn that first time Siobhan took her to work, it almost seemed frivolous. After all, gay women weren't automatically attracted to each other just because of sexual orientation. What if Siobhan had some unwritten rule about not getting involved with someone at work?
"Then I'll get another job," she murmured a little while later as she hurried out the door, breathing a sigh of relief that she hadn't left her car lights on all night.
Siobhan was wearing the blouse Lisa had made for her along with grey trousers, she managed a crooked smile as she slipped into the passenger seat.
"Hey, you're actually wearing it."
"Well, of course I am," Siobhan replied as Lisa shifted into reverse.
"There's something else about you," she fastened the seatbelt.
"Like what?"
"It's not what you're wearing, it's something else, the way you are today."
Lisa bit her lip and looked away as she shifted into first.
"I um, I told mum about you."
"About me, oh," Siobhan blushed, "and did she scream?"
"Not exactly," she inched the car forward, "but I learned something new about mum."
"I want to know more."
It came out slowly at first as she talked first about her mother's brief affair with the babysitter and then her own history of failed relationships with men. By the time she pulled into the parking lot at work she felt drained.
"You must think I'm nuts."
"On the contrary," Siobhan shifted in her seat, "I think you've got more guts than the men in there," she glanced at the building, "how many of them would go as far as to admit they're attracted to the same sex."
"Even though some of them probably are."
"True but they won't admit to it because they'll become targets."
"So, what do I do now?"
"First things first, get the job interview knocked on the head, everything else comes second. You've worked for this moment."
"How do?" Lisa stared straight ahead and then exhaled, "you're right, first things first, wish me luck."
"Good luck," Siobhan squeezed her leg.
Lisa carried the memory of that squeeze into the office an hour later, she'd caught sight of her briefly as she walked into a nearby office but the seat they waved her to meant her back was to Siobhan's office.
Interviews were something she dreaded because she had a terrible habit of psyching herself up with imaginary questions and answers when the reality was so much different. Her father called it mental projection, a common character trait for alcoholics although he admitted that 'normal' people had the same trait. Indeed it almost seemed that this would be much the same as other interviews, she would come across as a bit simple or flustered but then the interviewer rose and gestured to a seat beside him. A few seconds later Siobhan sat down and flicked at her hair.
"Okay, shall we begin?"
"Sure," Lisa smiled nervously, this had come out of the blue but as Siobhan explained a moment or two later, the woman who'd been slotted in as co-interviewer had called in sick.
"But I'm sure we'll cope," she folded her arms, "so, tell me, how do you think you'd fit into this role, given your limited experience?"
The answer sounded pat but it was one they'd rehearsed, indeed she found it hard not to smile as she recalled their role play. The next question was asked by Siobhan's colleague and it was similar to one Siobhan had asked the other night and so it progressed. There was an air of unreality about the interview, almost as if it was staged and at any moment a director would jump up and shout, "cut!"
"Well if you've got any more questions?" Harry glanced at Siobhan.
"None, but perhaps Lisa has one?"
About the best she could come up with was clarification on a couple of minor points and though it sounded lame, Harry did seem a little more animated as he went into more detail on her job role and then the interview was over and she was stepping out of the office. She felt slightly queasy, as if she had eaten something that didn't agree with her and in the lunch room she actually asked one of the girls for a cigarette, even though she didn't really smoke.
The rest of the day went fairly slowly until about four o'clock when Harry stepped into the large office she shared with several other women.
"How's it going?"
"Pretty good."
"Well, I hope it was memorable because this is the last day you'll spend in this part of the building," he held out his hand, "congratulations, you got the job."
"Thank you," she took his hand, "thank you."
"Actually you were the only candidate worth considering," Siobhan told her as they left work a few hours later, "we had two women, one was with some legal firm but she dropped the ball when she admitted she was pregnant and just looking for part time work. The other woman had been out of the workforce for twenty years raising children."
"I didn't know what to say when you stepped into the office."
"You and me both," she chuckled, "it was sprung on me at the last minute and I nearly said no but if I hadn't then it would have been two men instead of a man and a woman. There's been a bit of bad blood in our department because of the ratio of men to women, complaints went right up the food chain to government level and echoed all the way back to ours. Hence the as yet unwritten rule that we needed to give women more responsibility, especially when hiring other women."
"So, what happens now?" Lisa asked a few minutes later as she drove out of the carpark.
"You start tomorrow, Harry will take you through the routine and at some point either Dorothy or myself will be told to take you under our wing and guide you forward."
Lisa nodded as she pulled out onto the highway. Siobhan kept talking about the job and the things she'd be doing, some of it she knew but there were other things she didn't know about, like finding hotels for interstate visitors or driving senior management into town.
"You'll be on standby in a car but you're free to walk around and do a bit of shopping, the only downside is keeping your distance from managers who've had too much to drink."
"Maybe I'll tell them I'm gay."
"You can or just tell them you're with someone. It's a man's world, I'm the first one to admit it but it's changing slowly, sometimes too slow but anything is better than nothing."
Lisa nodded as she turned onto the feeder road that led to her street.
